He shakes his head. ‘Mum thought we were going to see the football. The money she gave Rory for the football was used to pay for my classes. Amelie lent me her black shorts and her ballet shoes.’
‘Did Rory leave you at the ballet classes and pop to the pub?’ I can see Rory doing that. He was always on his way to or back from a pub.
‘He sat and watched me at every class.’
Sitting back against Rory’s headboard I stare at Felix. Before tonight I thought I knew my ex-boyfriend. I also believed we didn’t have any secrets. Vivi and I used to talk about the transformation in Felix when he came back from seeing the football. He would have an ear-to-ear smile on his face and, as Vivi always said, he wouldn’t lock himself away and bang about in his bedroom. I can’t believe Rory has been such a good friend to Felix.
Blowing the air out of my cheeks I glance over at his bedside cabinet and see that the package has disappeared. ‘Where’s his package gone?’
Felix follows my gaze and dives off the bed. I hear a loud gasp. Felix emerges from the side of the bed holding the opened package. His eyes are wide, and his face has gone pale. ‘It had opened on the floor.’
‘What is it?’
Felix places the tissue paper package on the bed. Peeling back the red and gold paper I see two black leather ballet shoes lying toe to toe in the centre. ‘Oh, Felix,’ I whisper in shock.
He points to a gift label tucked inside one of the shoes. ‘You should read that.’
I peer over. It reads:To Felix, I’m so proud of you, Rory.
Tears begin to bubble inside my eyes. ‘Oh, wow.’
Felix wipes away a trickle of a tear. ‘He bought them for me, Aunty Emily.’
I can’t stop my tears.
CHAPTER28
RORY
Along queue of relieved people behind us snakes all the way back up the carriage. Everyone is eager to get off this train. It’s a miracle we’ve arrived in King’s Cross, especially after we sat for an hour in a blizzard. All the harassed guard could do was reassure us the emergency services would find us in the dark and snow if the worst happened. He also explained it might take several hours, but eventually the train would be located.
‘Have a good Christmas, Alfie and Michael. Enjoy your celebration.’
Michael gives me huge hugs. ‘Take care, Rory, mate.’
Alfie grins. ‘Yes, take care, Rory. Hope Brighton goes okay. It’s enjoyable once we get into our celebration but a bit stressful beforehand.’
I cast him a puzzled look. Michael laughs and pats his husband on the shoulder. He turns to me. ‘Alfie says that our loved ones are with us in spirit when we do our performance and if you knew them, you’d know they had very high standards for playing music.’
‘Are you in a band or on the stage?’
They both chuckle to themselves. Alfie shrugs. ‘We don’t like to talk about our celebration. It’s a personal thing.’
The urge to find out more about their celebration is strong but I sense they are keen to get away. We shake hands. ‘Good luck with the station dating app.’
Michael casts me a deadpan expression. ‘If we see you onDragons’ Dennicking our idea, we will hunt you down.’
Alfie and I laugh.
‘Your idea is safe; I can assure you.’ They wave as I set off.
I head for the ticket barriers. Inside, a war is waging between my head and my heart. My head is telling me that trying to get to Brighton by train in this snow tonight will be futile. It would be better to persuade Anna to let me stay over with her in London. Tomorrow I can assess the weather situation and head back to Leeds if need be. It will also give me a chance to sort my head out and, as Alfie said, I do need to think about why my relationship ended.
My heart on the other hand is telling me my love for both Emily and Felix is still strong. I think about both every day, and trying to forget them seems to make my suffering worse. No matter what it takes, I should try to get to Brighton tonight.
Refusing to concede, my head is reminding me how I messed things up with Emily and to do that again to her would break my heart. What if she was right about me not wanting to settle down? What if she was correct about not wanting the pressure of being a father figure to Felix? Felix is a great kid, but I think my head is right, he deserves someone better than me. Someone who has a job, someone who is sensible and someone who doesn’t get carried away with a female friend who turned up unexpectedly in his life.
Weaving my way past groups of travellers disembarking from the train I think about how life was before everything changed. Anna came into my life, and I became distracted. I need to understand why. The thought of meeting up again with Anna doesn’t sit well with my gut and I am going to have to buy some mints. Even though I am technically single, I still feel guilty for arranging to meet Anna. Why do I feel like I am letting both Emily and Felix down?
