‘That scarf – I know who it belongs to.’
‘Who?’
‘Jack, the missing kid, the one I helped on the train.’
Alfie’s face lights up. ‘Was that you who helped the little lad?’
‘Yes, it has given me a new perspective. Look, can I have the scarf as I want to give it back to Jack and make him happy. His grandpa is dying and he’s the one who bought him the scarf. I want to make someone happy this Christmas and the kid has been through a lot.’
Fiddling with it Alfie asks, ‘Did you see your ex-girlfriend?’
I shake my head. ‘She wasn’t at home, but I have decided to try and win her back, no matter what it takes. Now, I need to make Jack happy again.’
He smiles at me and then removes the little scarf. ‘Happy Christmas, Rory.’
CHAPTER45
EMILY
Above our heads the train announcer is apologising for the cancellation of another train due to the snow, which is flooding me with anxiety. We’re not even at the right station. Felix wanted to go to St Pancras station one last time. I was too weary and upset about Rory to put up a fight.
If trains are being cancelled here due to the snow, they will be almost certainly cancelled for Brighton. My stomach starts feeling queasy again. Felix and I might be stuck in London for Christmas Eve. All the hotels – the ones we can afford, at least – will be booked up and we’ll end up having to sleep on a bench in a station. What a mess!
There hasn’t been a chance to watch the interview with Rory and his new girlfriend as Felix had to put the iPad away when the train got into Kings Cross. I don’t want to watch it. Over the past twenty-four hours it feels like my broken heart has been stitched, unstitched, stitched again, and finally ripped apart by the interview clip. I don’t think my heart’s fabric can withstand any more damage.
Surrounding Felix, Baxter and I are groups of agitated Christmas travellers staring up at the departure screens with devastated expressions. The air is full of unhappy children crying, anxious conversations about whether the trains will be back in action later when the snow has been cleared, heated discussions with train personnel and mobile phones ringing out festive tunes which no one wants to listen to right now.
‘Felix, we’ve seen enough now, come on, let’s head for the underground.’
He casts me a look of desperation. ‘Please can we stay here a bit longer?’
‘Why?’
I watch him sit down on a plastic seat and place Baxter on the floor. ‘Rory might be here.’
Sinking down into the seat beside him I blink away stinging tears. ‘Rory’s with his new girlfriend.’
Felix shakes his head and starts to rummage in his rucksack.
‘Don’t take the iPad out here, Felix.’
Felix ignores me and turns the iPad screen to face us. My heart sinks. Am I kidding myself by thinking Felix and I made progress with each other over the past twenty-four hours?
‘I have to watch the interview,’ he says, with that familiar look of determination on his face.
‘Well,’ I say, with a sigh, ‘I don’t want to watch it.’
Felix ignores me. I watch him take out his earphones, plug them in and press play on the video clip.
Taking hold of Baxter’s lead, I turn in the other direction and wonder where Rory is now. My heart is aching for him and if it doesn’t stop soon, I might have to go buy some painkillers. I think back to Felix mentioning Rory’s brother, Lawrence. Why did I never get to meet him and was it Lawrence his mum was referring to in that postcard in his drawer? An uncomfortable feeling takes hold of me. If I recall she was talking about someone in the past tense as if they’d died. Felix also revealed Rory had been taking him to secret ballet lessons. I can see why Felix loves him so much. From the way Felix was talking about Rory, my ex-boyfriend had become a hero in his eyes. Rory had encouraged him to dance, and knowing this lights me up inside. Rory had been there for Felix when he needed him. Isn’t that the sort of thing which makes a great parent? I don’t think I knew Rory properly when we broke up six months ago.
Felix nudges me on the arm. ‘SHE’S NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND,’ he shouts. ‘THEY ARE NOT TOGETHER.’
‘What?’ I gasp, flicking my eyes to the iPad screen and jolting with shock which in turn results in me accidentally letting go of Baxter’s lead. Rory isnotwith the woman on the iPad screen. If I am honest, they’re not giving up any romantic vibes as she’s glaring up at him.
Felix yanks off his headphones. ‘Rory kept telling the journalist he and the woman are not a couple, Emily.’
What the hell is going on? My heart has gone berserk inside my rib cage.
