‘That’s him. Well, every day Keith tells me about Phoebe and Liam’s arguments.’
I cast her a worried look. ‘Arguments? This doesn’t sound good.’
Esme grins. ‘Keith says he’s never seen Phoebe so fired up. She’s winning, though, as this Liam guy has turned down his music.’
‘Good for Phoebe.’
She looks up and spots Steve walking his dog along the promenade. I follow her gaze to where Steve is getting dragged along by his rebellious Labrador. Steve’s struggle to hold on to his dog is pleasurable to watch.
‘Why does Joy want you to get back with him?’
‘He plays golf with Eric, who runs the guesthouse. Joy and Eric have started dating.’
‘Oh, I see.’ I recall Frankie saying something about Joy and Eric.
‘Eric is selling the guesthouse. He’s moving as he’s bought a new guesthouse somewhere in North Devon. I think that’s where we will be moving to once Joy sells this place.’
I turn to Esme. ‘This all feels very convenient for Joy – doesn’t it? What about you, Esme, andyourlife?’
She bows her head. ‘My life is with Joy.’
‘Is it?’
She shakes her head. ‘I don’t have the strength to fight her, Alice.’
‘I didn’t think I had the strength to leave Pete but I found it. If Joy wasn’t an issue – what would your perfect life look like?’
Esme’s large brown eyes widen. For a few moments she doesn’t say anything, and I wonder whether I have pushed her too far. To my surprise she gushes. ‘Well, I’d stay here in Blue Cove Bay, I’d get into cat fostering as I have always wanted to do that; I’d find a job somewhere. Keith and I would go on day trip dates. And I would cut my hair.’
I smile. ‘Cut your hair?’
She nods. ‘Joy thinks short hair wouldn’t suit me.’
‘It’s your hair, not Joy’s.’ It’s then I remember Celia Black’s book,The Approval List.The book I’d read about the young woman who had lost herself after years of people pleasing her friends and family. She’d even created an approval list for any decision she made in life. Things had come to a head when the guy she fell in love didn’t perform well on her Approval List. He had tattoos which her mother hated, he had an earring which made her father complain bitterly, he was friends with the people her sister didn’t like, and he played football for the team her brother despised.The young woman decides to stop seeking approval and starts living her own life.
‘Esme, have you read,The Approval Listby Celia Black?’
Esme shakes her head. ‘No.’
‘That book was transformational for me. It helped me so much when I was trying to please Dad and Pete. Let me dig it out for you. I will drop it in.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Esme, I’m positive. Just be ready for some life changes.’
CHAPTERTWENTY-ONE
I’m standing at the top of the cliff and looking at the golden strip of sand below. Groups of beachgoers are dotted along the coastline. Above my head is a bright blue sky. It’s Sunday and the café is closed. Yesterday was busy as we had student Ava join us and the warm weather had brought out the romantic couples. Ava and I also planned out herTreat Your Grandparentpromotion. She agreed to help spread the word at college.
Lucas and Dad are baking so I have decided to walk along the coastal path. It’s where I feel closest to Mum. Taking out my phone, I smile. On my lock screen is one of my favourite photos of her. The one where she’s in hiking gear and boots, rucksack slung over her shoulder, ready for an adventure. She loved walking for miles in the countryside and up along this winding coastal path. I remember every Saturday, Dad and I would wave her off. Even as a child I could feel her excitement on the morning of one of her walks. She’d be laughing as Dad poured her tea into a flask and moaned about how she had packed her rucksack.
Sometimes I look at Mum’s face for too long. ‘I miss you so much, Mum,’ I croak. ‘After all these years without you it still hurts.’ Through the blurriness her beaming smile finds me.
The walk I am going on will take me to the little brass plaque Dad and I got made after she died up here on one of her walks. She fell on a piece of ice and hit her head. It caused a fatal stroke.
Dad and I visited regularly in the years after she passed away. Throughout my teenage years it was a place of solace for me. As the little path winds around, I can see a figure stood by Mum’s plaque. They’re crouched down on their knees and wiping her plaque. My heart thuds. Feeling protective, I walk faster. The figure sees me coming and shoots up to their feet. As I get closer, I gasp; it’s Noah.
He gives me an awkward look. ‘Didn’t expect to see you up here.’
