I twirled a piece of my hair around my finger. ‘That’s the last thing I want you to do.’ With a suggestive smile I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. Our kiss was even better than the one in the school hall. It was warm, sensual and when we broke for air my head was swimming.
He stroked my hand. ‘Wow, that was a proper kiss. Can I ask what changed your mind about me?’
I took a deep breath. ‘Olivia.’
He looked surprised. ‘Olivia?’
‘Before I left my flat in London I found this notebook in her bedroom. It was an advice book she’d written about how to get over losing a friend.’
‘Sophie,’ Ben whispered, hanging his head. ‘She wrote it about losing Sophie.’
I reached out and placed my hand on top of his. He leaned towards me, and I wrapped my arms around him. We didn’t say anything. I simply held him close.
He pulled away and smiled. ‘Thank you for that. Sophie was a huge part of my life, and I will always have a hole in my heart.’
I stroked his hair. ‘I understand.’
‘Why did Olivia mention me?’
‘She talked about how you told her to make Sophie proud by writing romance novels.’
‘Sophie would have loved to know that Olivia was following her dream. Was that the only thing it said about me?’
I cast him an awkward look. ‘She also talked about how she… ummm…’
‘Kissed me?’
I nodded and he smiled. ‘We laughed about that for ages afterwards. It sounds horrid of me to say that, but I didn’t want her to feel embarrassed or guilty. Olivia, Sophie and I were always taking the mickey out of each other. When Olivia surprised me by planting her lips on mine, I knew it was grief.’
‘She said you were a true gent.’
‘She was a good friend to me, and I respected her a lot. Wow – I can’t believe she’s written about that.’
‘Her book has really helped me over the past few weeks, Ben. When I came to Harp Brook, I was a mess.’
He held my gaze with his beautiful green eyes.
‘I’ve spent the last few months sat in a lonely flat with a leaky ceiling, surrounded by some of Olivia’s belongings and feeling lost. I was applying for jobs I didn’t want, and I wasn’t getting, I was haunted by my ex-boyfriend dumping me on Christmas Eve, plus I was basing my life on what my mother wanted me to do. Olivia’s advice has helped me in so many ways. Without it I wouldn’t have cut my hair, got involved with the nativity scenery painting or decided that I wanted to change my career and do something with food instead of project management. I also wouldn’t have allowed myself to come here tonight and… kiss you again.’
His fingers wrapped around mine.
‘Do you know something, Ben? I feel closer to Olivia here in Harp Brook than I have done in my flat since she died. It feels like she’s with me.’
‘Have you finished her book?’
‘I am part way through.’ I ran my hands over my jeans. ‘I want you to know I am on a journey right now. My life needs to change. I know that now and I must work out how.’
He smiled. ‘So, where do we go from here?’
‘I am going to carry on reading her book and see what happens.’
‘Rachel, I’m here and whatever you decide I will support you.’
I leaned against his shoulder, and he pulled me close. ‘Does that mean I can’t kiss you again until you’ve finished her book?’
‘That would be torturous,’ I said with a mischievous smile. ‘Why don’t you carry on kissing me and I’ll figure out my life over Christmas.’
‘Deal.’
