We heard footsteps and there was Josh beaming at us from the doorway. ‘Hi, all.’ He smiled and came to sit next to me. ‘We met the other day at the farm, didn’t we?’
I grinned. ‘I thought you acted suspicious.’
Maddie squeezed his hand. ‘This is the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with, everyone.’ She wiped a tear from her cheek. ‘I’m not going to create any more mess.’
Grandpa gave her a cuddle. ‘Hey, you’re amongst fellow mess creators – me, Beverly and Rachel.’
We all giggled. Aunty Bev pointed at me with her wine glass. ‘Rachel has broken every rule given to her.’
‘You were the one who snuck into the west wing, Aunty Beverly.’
She grinned. ‘So I was. Maddie – sorry about that. I struggle with the concept of “no” at my age.’
My phone began to vibrate. As I took it out of my pocket, I saw that it was Mum facetiming me from Tenerife. ‘Oh God,’ I croaked, showing Maddie.
She gave a silent nod and took the phone from me. ‘Stand well back,’ she whispered. ‘I am about to cause an explosion.’
‘Hello, Mum,’ she said, as Mum appeared on the screen. I peered over Maddie’s shoulder and saw total shock take hold of Mum’s face. ‘Maddie,’ she gasped. ‘Why are you back? Has Rachel burnt your house down?’
‘I’m pregnant, Mum,’ said Maddie.
Mum squealed with delight. She turned to the room behind her. ‘Everyone – Maddie is pregnant.’
An almighty cheer could be heard, and Aunty Karen came over to hug Mum. ‘Oh, Janice, this is great news,’ she gushed. ‘You’re going to be a grandmother to a celebrity baby.’
Mum grinned from ear to ear as Uncle Robert shouted, ‘Is it Frank’s baby?’
Mum scowled at Uncle Robert and Aunty Karen shouted at him, ‘Robert, don’t say stupid things.’
‘Maddie, this is the best news and what a Christmas present,’ gushed Mum. ‘I bet Frank is over the moon.’
‘It’s not Frank’s baby,’ said Maddie.
Mum’s face froze and her eyes glazed over.
‘Mum – are you okay?’
We were all distracted by Aunty Bev who threw back her head and guffawed with laughter. Aunty Karen took the phone from Mum, who looked like she had seen a ghost.
‘Maddie, can you repeat what you just said,’ gushed Aunty Karen. ‘Bad line.’ She let out a nervous laugh. ‘Say it again and slowly please.’
‘The-baby-is-NOT-Frank’s, Aunty Karen,’ said Maddie, slowly, clearly and emphasising the key words. ‘I-had-an AFFAIR-with-JOSH-from-uni. The guy Mum never liked. Frank and I are SEPARATING.’
Aunty Karen’s eyes started to roll around inside her sockets and her face went chalk white. We gasped as she fainted, and Uncle Robert had to catch her crumpled body. ‘For God’s sake, Karen, this is not a good time to pass out.’ Uncle Robert laid her down. ‘She’ll be fine in a sec,’ he said as Gary came rushing over.
Aunty Bev chuckled away to herself. ‘Thank God Robert never entered the medical profession.’
Robert turned to Mum who was in a trance. ‘Janice, do you need a drink?’
She remained silent. Uncle Robert turned to us on the phone. ‘Congratulations, Maddie, I never liked Frank. Good on you.’
We could hear Aunty Karen groaning on the floor beneath the screen, Gary popped his arm around Uncle Robert’s shoulder and grinned at us. ‘Rob and I going to nip to the beach bar. These two can sort themselves out.’
As they waved us goodbye, I heard Aunty Karen croak, ‘Get Janice an emergency ciggie ASAP.’
Aunty Bev burst out laughing. ‘Karen, Janice needs more than that.’
Once the call had ended, I caught sight of Josh looking shell-shocked. ‘This is normal for us, Josh,’ I quipped. ‘Welcome to the family.’
