His brother had tried to look after him, though the food was never enough to satiate Balor’s hunger.But once, Kenneth had admitted that their mother had given him the food and ordered him to give it in secret.Almost as if she cared.
Balor knew better than to truly believe it.His motherrarely spoke to him or gave him any attention at all.He’d long ago stopped hoping for a trace of affection.
And he hated her inability to stand up to her husband.Whenever Fergus gave her orders, she’d obeyed—even if it meant turning a blind eye to his cruelty.Orla had defied her husband only once—when she’d sent Balor away to England for fostering.
On the day he’d left Éireann, he’d been eleven—almost twelve.Orla had given him into the care of a merchant, who had agreed to let him travel with him to England.She’d given the man coins, likely stolen from her husband.And she’d given Balor a silver ring, one he’d never seen her wear.She’d bade him give the ring to the Norman lord, in exchange for his fostering.It was hardly more than a twist of silver, but she’d promised him that once the earl saw the ring, he would agree to train him.
The last moment he’d seen his mother, just before he’d boarded the boat, she’d reached out to touch his cheek.‘Balor, I am sorry,’ she whispered.‘I wish—’ But she’d never finished the sentence.Instead, there had been a shadow of pain in her eyes before she’d given him an unexpected embrace and turned away.He couldn’t remember the last time she’d hugged him.
Even so, he still blamed Orla for not defending him during his childhood.She could have stopped the abuse—but out of cowardice and fear, she’d chosen not to.A dark resentment remained buried within him for that.
Mairead tore off another piece of bread.‘I’m starting to understand why you want Fergus gone.’She held out the bread, and he ate from her fingertips, his lips grazing their edges.
Then she took a piece of the dried meat and tore it inhalf, giving him the rest.Balor took it, but after he ate, she caught his hand and said, ‘You didn’t deserve to be treated so cruelly as a child, Balor.’
There was nothing to say, so he remained silent, only meeting her gaze as he held her hand in his.
‘I hope you find your own happiness,’ she continued.‘Truly, I do.’Then she released his hand.
Did she understand what she was doing to him?He wanted to capture that mouth, kissing her until he forgot all the reasons why he would never have someone like Mairead.But he held back, not wanting to frighten her.
‘Should we go to Rionallís now?’she asked.‘Where is our horse?’
‘I left it at your uncle’s stable,’ he answered.‘I didn’t want to draw attention back to us by riding away.’
Her face fell before she said, ‘I suppose it’s not too far to walk.’
‘We’re not leaving yet.I want to get a better look from the top of the tower to make certain it’s safe.We’ll make that decision after we see our surroundings.’
She waited for him to lead the way up the stairs, but he gestured for her to go on.‘You first,’ he said.‘That way, if you stumble, I’ll catch you.’
She took a single step up and turned around to face him.It brought her face to his level, and he wondered if she understood the way she kindled the hunger for far more than a kiss.He held himself steady, meeting her gaze, even as every part of his body responded to her nearness.
‘Be careful,a mhuirnín,’ he warned.
But his words had nothing to do with the steep stairs and everything to do with the way her green eyes held a yearning that echoed his own.
* * *
They waited until nightfall to approach Rionallís on foot.Mairead was exhausted, but she agreed with Balor’s belief that they shouldn’t travel far during the day—at least, not yet.
Earlier that morn, after they’d climbed to the top of the roundtower, she’d seen the gleam of Norman armour in the distance, along with her father’s men who wore dark leather.The soldiers had travelled to Rionallís while others searched along the coast and farther inland.
There was one moment when the soldiers had searched near the roundtower, and she’d held her breath in fear.But without a ladder, they could not investigate, and eventually, the men returned to Laochre.
After it was dark, Balor lowered the ladder and helped her climb down.They hurried together towards her uncle’s castle, his hand upon her spine.She was grateful for his protection, even though she knew she shouldn’t allow him to touch her.
It took nearly an hour as they made their way through the forest where they could stay hidden.Her stomach was roaring with hunger, but they’d already eaten everything Balor had brought.She imagined the food at Rionallís, and she continued walking alongside him towards the gates where torches in iron sconces flared in the darkness.
Two guards came forward, but this time, she stepped in front of Balor.‘I am here to see my uncle Bevan and my aunt Genevieve.’
‘King Patrick’s guards came to find you earlier, my lady,’ one of the men said.She didn’t miss the warning in his voice.
The tension tightened inside her, but she gave a nod.Andas the guards escorted them inside, thankfully, she didn’t see any of her father’s men or the Normans.
After they reached the stairs that led to the main keep, the guards returned to the gates.Mairead led Balor inside, and the interior of the Great Chamber was lit with torches and candles.When they walked towards another staircase, she heard the sound of harp music playing.
She risked a slight smile at Balor, whose expression remained emotionless as she led him up the stairs towards the solar.When she opened the door to the chamber, the harp music stopped as her aunt’s fingers stilled.
