‘No,’ he admitted.‘Not really.’
Alanna studied him closely, and she couldn’t deny that she found him handsome.Not that it mattered.Men never noticed her.She had earned her reputation as a fortune teller, and everyone believed she was strange.
‘Would you like some ale or mead?’she offered.
The earl’s gaze lingered on the door as if he wanted nothing more than to push his way down the hall and follow Mairead.Though he didn’t answer, Alanna poured ale and handed him a cup.
But she chose her words carefully as she spoke.‘You needn’t worry.My cousin knows her duty, and she has always had a kind heart.’
‘Is it kindness she feels towards her guard?Or something else?’he remarked.But she didn’t miss the undertone of jealousy.
‘It doesn’t matter what she feels,’ Alanna answered honestly.His feelings were easy to read, and so she reassured him, ‘You are the suitor her father chose.’
He took a deep sip of ale and then asked, ‘What is your name?’
‘I am Alanna MacEgan,’ she answered.‘You’ve already met my parents, Bevan and Genevieve.’
He walked over to the table and poured a cup of ale for her.She took it and sat in her chair, drinking to avoid saying something foolish.
‘Do you and your husband live nearby?’he asked.‘Have you any children of your own?’
‘I have neither,’ she answered.Her heartbeat quickened with her own embarrassment.‘I live here with my family.’
At that, he turned to her.‘Did your father not arrange a marriage for you?’The expression on his face appeared confused, as if he could not understand why.
She wasn’t about to confess that no man wanted to wed her.She’d shied away from men, most of her life, for they made fun of her.
‘He tried,’ was the only answer she could give.But she was fully aware that the earl was only a little older than herself.And although she knew he was meant for Mairead, there was a small part of her that wished she could have met someone like the earl, years ago when she was young and filled with hope.
Alanna leaned back in her chair.‘If you truly wish to win my cousin’s heart, then help her find her brother.’
‘We’ve been trying,’ the earl answered.‘But aside from the group of Normans who left Laochre, we’ve found no trace of him.’He finished his ale, and she did the same as they sat in companionable silence.
And when she felt the eyes of the earl watching her, she couldn’t help but dream of a very different future than the one Fate had chosen for her.
* * *
It was strange, lying in a bed.Balor had slept on the floor for most of his life.During his fostering, he’d slept on a pallet stuffed with fresh hay, and he hadn’t minded so much.But here, the mattress sank slightly beneath his weight, and the coverlet had been warm.He hadn’t been able to stop himself from thinking of Mairead, wondering what it would be like to share a bed with a woman.He could only imagine the softness of her skin, the heat of her body.And God help him, he couldn’t stop the desire, the craving for her.
This had been a mistake.He never should have escorted her here.It had only awakened a different kind of yearning.
Her words had been a challenge to become more than what he was.Balor had never really considered it.All his life, he’d been tormented and abused because of the Norman who had fathered him.It had awakened a rage within him, a hatred of Fergus.It had been his sole purpose, his driving need for revenge.
But Mairead’s quiet encouragement—who you could become if you dared to reach for it—made him suddenly question everything.
For a moment, he let his mind drift with daydreams.He’d lived in a castle before, during his fostering, so dwelling amid stone walls and guards was familiar.But when he was younger, he’d kept to himself, not wanting to be noticed.He hadn’t wanted to befriend anyone.It was easier to remain alone and apart from the others.
But he’d still helped the younger boys with their training, guarding them from the older ones who had tried to intimidate them.It had been a way of remembering his own brother, Kenneth.
His thoughts drifted back to the present.What would it be like, having to defend an entire castle of people?An immense responsibility, no doubt.And yet, he thought of the young boy, Marcas.He could easily imagine defending the lad and others like him.
Fergus had used his position as chieftain to exert his own authority over others.He had gloried in the power, commanding his men.And yet, if they came under attack, Balor believed the chieftain would turn and run.Never would he pick up his sword.
Even if Kenneth tried to defend them, his younger brother lacked the strength and resilience to guard them.
Maybe that was why he’d come back to Dunmalus.A small part of him didn’t want to abandon Kenneth, despite everything.
His brother needed help learning how to protect the Ó Phelans—he was too young and inexperienced to lead.If Fergus was gone and Kenneth became chieftain, perhaps it would be better to stay and guide him.It wasn’t the life Balor had imagined for himself, but he would consider staying for a time if it meant securing Kenneth’s future.He could become the sword wielded by his brother, protecting them from enemies.
