But when he turned to face her, she had already fled, closing the door behind her.
* * *
Mairead remained inside her bedchamber, questioning what to do now.Her face was still flushed, her body satiated in a way she’d never felt before.Her heart had never pounded this way, not even with Diarmud.
She sat down, her breasts aching, while she longed for more.Although she never should have gone to Balor’s room, it had been an impulse.She had truly meant only to talk to him.But the moment he had come near, he’d tempted her.
The sight of his body had stolen her breath.Every ridged muscle, the sun-warmed skin, had awakened her own desires.She wished she could have kissed a path over his muscled chest with her mouth, learning the edges and planes of his warrior’s body.The silver scar across his abdomen revealed his fighting past, and she’d traced it with her fingertips, needing to touch him.
A shadow of loss crossed over her mood.She had loved Diarmud, only a few months ago.At least, she’d believed it was love.Now, she wasn’t so certain.It felt more like a maiden’s infatuation instead.
No one knew Diarmud had been her first lover.She’d told no one at all.
But she was starting to realize it had been a mistake.Her feelings towards him were nothing compared with the fiery storm of breathless need Balor had conjured.Or was it simply lust?
Diarmud had treated her as if she were something precious, and it had warmed her heart when his face had lit up to see her.
Foolishly, she had believed they would marry, even knowing that her father would never accept a soldier asher husband.And yet, she’d allowed herself to daydream of a simpler life.
Diarmud had promised that he would become worthy of her, that he would fight in battle to defend the MacEgans’ honour.
Never in her life had she imagined that they would bring back his broken body.
Diarmud had been so determined to prove his worth to her family—and now he was dead.Guilt suffocated her with memories of her own past mistakes.It washerfault that he’d died.
Perhaps she should simply accept whatever marital alliance her father wanted.She didn’t deserve love or passion.
And although Balor had given her a taste of that forbidden passion, he and Diarmud were completely different.There was a ruthless air to Balor, a silent confidence in his fighting skills.And when he’d turned that intensity towards her… Her heart thundered at the memory.
Yet, he’d never once spoken of a future for them.Her heart faltered, for he’d said he wasn’t interested in marrying her.
Was that the truth?If so, then why had he touched her so intimately?Was it desire or was he only using her?
Mairead lowered her head and exhaled, afraid of being spurned.Maybe this wasn’t real, and she only wanted it to be.
But did it make her wicked for desiring him, hoping to soothe the loneliness that haunted her?
A knock sounded, and her aunt Genevieve came inside.Her wrinkled face held a warm smile.‘I thought we would see you below stairs to break your fast, Mairead.’
Shewashungry, but she didn’t quite feel ready to faceher family.Or especially Balor, after what had just happened between them.‘I’ll come down in a little while.’
Her aunt paused a moment and then ventured, ‘Are you well, Mairead?You appear troubled.’
She was.And restless.And afraid she was about to make another mistake with her life, giving her heart to someone who didn’t want it.
‘I don’t know what to do,’ she admitted.‘I don’t know whether to stay here or return to Laochre.’It was a feeble excuse, and she knew it.
Genevieve drew closer.‘Either is fine, my dear.’
But she shook her head in disbelief.‘I don’t really feel safe at home.’She glanced at her aunt.‘And I don’t know what to do now.’
‘It seems to me that there are two men who want to keep you safe.’Genevieve’s voice softened as she sat down on the bed beside her.‘I know Lord Lowell’s family.He’s one of the most powerful men in England and would be glad to watch over you.’
‘I know.Everyone wants me to wed him.’Mairead gripped her hands together, trying to keep her voice calm.‘But I just…don’t think I can.’
Especially after she’d just experienced an awakening at Balor’s hands.Her brain warned her not to place the desires of her body over the rational decision of whom she should marry.
Her aunt reached out to take her hand.‘Has the earl given you a reason not to consider him?’
