‘Are you all right, Balor?’Mairead asked.She was watching him from her hiding place, and the tone of her voice held wariness.
‘I’m fine.’
He told himself it wasn’t a lie.It didn’t matter what words his mother had spun.Her actions mattered more.All his life, he had hungered for someone to care about him.But Orla had hardly ever looked at him.She certainly gave Kenneth the affection and love he’d craved.
How could she imagine that he could ever forget that?Or forgive her for the years of Fergus’s abuse?The loneliness was the worst, even beyond the hunger or the thirst.
He rowed hard in the water, needing the physical exertion to calm his anger.Though he resented his mother for her cowardice, he couldn’t allow himself to believe that she truly felt affection towards him.She had made her choice, years ago.And although he should pity her for facing the consequences of Fergus’s wrath—or feel guilt for leaving her behind—he felt nothing, save resentment.
After an hour of rowing, he finally raised the sail.The wind immediately helped them gain speed, and he used an oar as a rudder, steering them west.
‘You can sit up now,’ he told Mairead.‘They can’t see us.’The sun was rapidly descending, and soon it would be nightfall.
When she lowered the hood, her dark hair whipped around her face.He watched as Mairead braided it swiftly, tucking it back within her clothing.Then she rested her hands upon his, and he stopped rowing.
‘Is something wrong?’He couldn’t understand why she’d reached out to him.
To his shock, she moved in close and embraced him hard.Balor tucked her head beneath his chin, holding her close.The embrace reached beneath the shell of his anger, softening it.She didn’t speak, didn’t offer any explanation.
‘You didn’t deserve what your family did to you.’Mairead rested her cheek against his, and her actions werean unexpected comfort he’d never imagined.He held her in his arms, breathing in the scent of her hair.The quiet embrace slipped past his own defences, pressing against the heart he shielded from everyone else.
It only strengthened his resolve not to let her go.
Balor stroked her hair back and brushed his mouth across the top of her head, fighting back against the ache in his chest.‘It doesn’t matter anymore.’The past couldn’t be changed.‘But I won’t allow Fergus to threaten your brother’s throne.’
She pulled away, and in the fading sunlight, her face was bright and lovely.She glanced back at the mainland, her expression pensive and hopeful.And he was an utter bastard for taking her away from her family and home, even if she’d asked him to.
‘I pray that we find Liam,’ she murmured, keeping her eyes fixed on the horizon.‘Do you think he’s alive?’
‘I hope he is.’He didn’t say that it was more likely her brother was hurt or even dead.Better if she didn’t imagine the thousand things that could go wrong if they tried to rescue him.
But he didn’t care.
Whenever Mairead looked upon him, she didn’t seem to see what everyone else saw.She treated him as if she saw the man he wanted to be—instead of the man he was.With every moment he spent at her side, the more he wanted her to have faith in him.He wanted to give her the joy of seeing her brother alive again.And maybe it would close up the invisible wounds that his own family had sliced, leaving him with only pieces of himself.
This journey with her might be his only chance to spend time alone with Mairead.But the moment they reachedBanslieve, they would have to find allies.Possibly her uncle.
‘Even if we find Liam, we can’t save your brother alone,’ he reminded her.‘We’re outnumbered.’
She gave a nod.‘We are.But it couldn’t have been a large force who took him—otherwise, my father’s soldiers would have seen them.’She paused and added, ‘We don’t have to fight them—we would only need to help my brother escape.If we go together, I could be a distraction while you free him.’
Balor already knew there was little hope of a rescue—not with only two of them.They could track down her brother, but even if they found him, it was unlikely he could free Liam without being caught.
He didn’t know if the MacEgans had seen their escape by water, but if they had, Balor was starting to wonder if heshouldgive them a chance to catch up.If his mother was right about Liam’s location, they would need those forces to free thetánaiste.By hunting Mairead, they could lead the king’s men to save his son.It was worth considering.
‘I’m not putting your life in danger,’ he told Mairead.‘But we will try to find Liam.’
‘How long will we sail?’
‘It depends.If the wind holds, we should arrive within another day.’But it could take longer since they needed horses and more supplies to travel inland.
‘Thank you,’ she said, reaching out to touch his hand.He stopped rowing a moment and squeezed it in return.Her green eyes warmed.‘I owe you a debt for this.’
Balor gave a shrug, as if he didn’t have every intention of keeping her.He wasn’t helping her out of a selfless desire to help thetánaiste.It was purely for his own gain.
And from the way Mairead was looking at him now,so full of hope and gratitude, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything at all.
After Balor released her hand, Mairead leaned her face into the wind and smiled.‘Is this what it feels like to be free?’
