Her heart was breaking as she crossed the space to Balor.His eyes drank in the sight of her, and she steeled herself for what might become another loss.
To the soldiers, she commanded.‘Step back and let me speak with him alone.’
‘We cannot, my lady,’ one argued.But she was not about to let her last moments with Balor be witnessed by strangers.
‘That was an order,’ she demanded.‘Not a request.’
They glanced at her father, who nodded and signalled for them to obey.Even so, they stood close by.
‘Are you all right?’Balor asked quietly.
The ache inside her seemed to crack open, even as she tried to hold back tears.‘No,’ she admitted, forcing herself to meet his gaze.‘My father is allowing me to say farewell to you before King John commands me to wed Lord Lowell in the morning.’
She stepped in close and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head beneath his chin.He couldn’t return the embrace with his bound hands, but she murmured, ‘I love you.I need you to know that, no matter what happens.’
Balor dropped his voice low.‘You don’t have to marry him, Mairead.’
‘I don’t know what to do,’ she confessed.‘If I disobey the king’s orders, your life is in danger.’
‘Don’t wed him,’ he murmured.‘I have others who will help me escape.’
She risked a glance at the soldiers in disbelief.No, Balor wasn’t safe at all.Not when they were using him as leverage to force her obedience.
‘Find a way to refuse the marriage,’ he said softly.Against her ear, he whispered, ‘I intend to save your brother and bring him back to Laochre.After he is free, I want you to wed me instead.’
His words wove a blend of hope and terror within her.She wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that she could somehow gain the marriage she’d dreamed of.But if she made a single mistake, Balor’s life would be forfeit.And possibly her brother’s, too.
The risk was far too grave.She’d grieved the loss of Diarmud, blaming herself.And rightfully so.He never would have gone to fight, if he hadn’t wanted to prove himself.
Balor was doing the same thing.He felt the need to help save her brother, possibly to show her father that he was a man of worth.But this wasn’t his fight.He didn’t have to risk his life—not for her family.If anything happened to him, she wouldn’t grieve.
She would break apart into a thousand pieces that could never be mended.
And so she answered his offer of marriage with the truth.‘I don’t know if I can.’
The words were an arrow, slicing through him.She saw it in the barest flinch before he shielded his demeanour back into a mask of indifference, guarding his own feelings.He believed she was turning her back on him, just as everyone else had done.
The tears fell freely, but she forced herself to voice thetruth.‘I would rather wed another man than watch you die.I couldn’t bear it.Not again.’
Every muscle in his body stiffened, and he took a step back from her, his gaze stony.
Maybe she shouldn’t have alluded to Diarmud, but he needed to know that her feelings for him were far stronger.‘I will do whatever I must, to save your life.’If marrying Lord Lowell meant that Balor survived, she would do it without hesitation.
‘Don’t you have any faith in me?’His expression darkened as he took another step back, forcing her to look at him.‘I am not Diarmud.’
‘Balor.’Her voice was anguished, but when she tried to touch his cheek, he turned it away.
‘It doesn’t matter what I say or how hard I fight for us, does it?’Bitterness lined his tone, and his eyes glittered with anger.‘I’ll still only ever be a bastard.Someone you could never wed.’
That wasn’t true.How could he even think that?‘I never cared if you were a prince or a serf,’ she insisted.‘I only want you to live.But I don’t know how to fight back against the King of England.’She swiped at her tears and faced him.‘I would rather marry a man I don’t love, to save the man I do.’
She didn’t know what she’d expected from him.Pride made him straighten, his shoulders back as he faced her, revealing all the frustration and anger she had caused.Even as bruised and bleeding as he’d been, he carried himself like a nobleman.
‘I don’t need your martyrdom,’ he said coldly.‘Either fight for us or walk away, Mairead.’
He didn’t understand.And she closed her eyes for a moment,gathering what was left of her courage.‘I lost someone I loved and could do nothing to stop it.This time, Iwillsave you—no matter what it costs me.’
But in his eyes, she saw the bleak resignation.And maybe he was right.Maybe sacrificing herself was the wrong decision.It would take courage greater than she’d ever had to defy two kings.
