Chapter Twenty-Three
Keri
I sit in the swanky restaurant, sipping on ice water while trying to hold it together. I’m waiting for Candace and April to meet me for happy hour. I’ve been experimenting with a city-girl persona for the day while they worked, and failed miserably. I feel out of sorts, like I don’t really belong here. And I’m not ready to talk to Adam yet, that’s why I don’t answer his call. I stare at my phone on the table and decide he’s going to have to wait.
Just like him, I need time to sort out my life. Why have I been so miserable since he left? Why can’t I figure out what I should be doing now? I know my friends mean well. They suggested I stay another day in Atlanta and explore job prospects. Maybe even tour a midtown apartment or a suburban townhome for fun. But it doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like me.
I miss Adam.
I try not to, but I can’t help it. Missing him is like missing a piece of me that I’ll never get back. It’s that certain kind of love that lives in the center of my heart. The one that only he can bring out. The stitch in my side when he successfully gets me to release a hideous goose-honk laugh out of nowhere, lungs gasping for air. The times when I would look to my left, and he was there. A steady comfort. A reminder that I’m never fully alone in this world when he’s around.
I miss him.
It doesn’t help that I see Adam in nature. And every time I spot a big dog walking in front of its owner on a leash. And in every single gorgeous southern sunset since he left. As the sun slips away each night, I plead to the heavens for him to come back. There’s something in the burning colors that reminds me that after each day comes to an end, he’s getting further and further away. What if I actually never see him again? What if on the day he left, he offered me his crooked smile for the very last time? I don’t want to spend forever in the dark, wishing I had told him how much I loved him. The man has rocked my world, and I will never be the same without him.
Just as I start sinking deeper into my thoughts, April’s voice brings me back to the present. “Hey, lady,” she teases, snapping me out of my melancholy.
Candace brings up the rear. “Sorry we’re late. Grant was struggling to get the boys to soccer practice.”
“And then I was late picking up Candy because rush hour traffic is a nightmare.”
“No worries,” I say, offering a forced smile at the pair.
They exchange a worried glance. “How’d it go today with the headhunter? Any interesting bites in the world of Atlanta real estate?”
I don’t have the heart to tell April I cancelled the meeting, especially after she did me a favor and coordinated a meetup through her friend in the biz. I just wasn’t feeling it, and I bailed.
Instead, I wandered Buckhead’s ritzy mall, stunned by the price tags on beautiful gowns. I compared them to what my grandmother made for me. Of course, her designs were way better. I even laid eyes on an authentic Oscar de la Renta gown for $14,000. Fourteen thousand! Are you kidding me? Of course, I had to touch it. And then the nice sales lady suggested I try it on. Why not? I didn’t have anything else going on.
It was all downhill from there. As I stood before a trio of full-length mirrors in the boutique where Atlanta’s wealthy women shop, a sudden wave of emotion hit me thinking about the pageant gown project that probably wasn’t meant to be. I began to cry, unable to hold back the tears.
“You didn’t go, did you?” Candy comments.
I look at my friend and shake my head. “No. I didn’t.”
April’s chest lifts in a heavy sigh. “Girl, you need to pull yourself up and get back out there. You’re a beautiful woman with amazing talents. You need a fresh start. Any company would be lucky to have you.”
I cross my arms in front of my chest. “And what if I don’t want to work for a company? Suppose I want to keep working for myself?”
“Like that’s been going well for you,” she says under her breath.
“Stop it, April,” Candy warns with a glaring look. “Keri is going through something that neither of us can relate to. The best thing we can do is support her and lift her up while she’s feeling down.”
“Yeah,” I mock with a little attitude, thankful she’s on my side.
“Okay, okay.” She backs off. “I’m only trying to give you a little tough love, Keri. I’m sorry.”
My mouth tenses into a slight smile. I love these girls. I really do. “It’s just a bad day, okay? Not a bad life. I’ll figure it out.”
“You’re right. You will,” April agrees.
“And maybe your life is with Adam,” Candy says.
“I hope so. He’s amazing. He’s always showing me new ways to see the world around me.”
“Hmmm. You want to know what I think?” April continues.
“Lay it on me.” I laugh, thankful for our honest conversation.
