I never got to meet my father. Tyler died in a car accident, leaving my grandparents to raise me as their own. I’m proud to be Ralph and Rosie Jamison’s son. But oh, how I wish I could have known my birth parents before all of the sadness…
And being a parent—what does that even mean anyway? The concept is so foreign and polarizing to me. I equate my parents with death and sorrow. No wonder I don’t want to have any children.
I realize I’ve been tuning Madison out, her raised voice echoing in my ears as she holds my face. My eyes focus on hers, and I snap out of my daze.
“George?”
There’s a trace of fear in her voice. Great. I’ve scared her on our wedding day.
I exhale deeply and pull her hands off my face, embarrassed. “I’m fine. I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not fine. What was that? Where did you go?”
I count silently to five before I look her in the eye. “My thoughts kind of took over.”
“What kind of thoughts? Are you getting cold feet?”
I frown and look down at my cowboy boots.
“Are you having second thoughts about marrying me?”
The way she’s looking at me fills me with disappointment, knowing I’ve caused her pain. I believe in my heart she’s the one. She needs to know, without a doubt, that she’s my person.
I dig deep and try to explain. “I want to marry you, Madison.”
Her shoulders relax, and she offers me a timid smile. “Good. Because I want to marry you too.”
“Thank you. It’s just that…”
“What?”
“I’m just not sure we should have a child.”
She nods. “We don’t have to discuss this now. Let’s concentrate on this amazing day ahead of us—”
I interrupt her, the horrible truth flying out of my mouth with no filter. “I don’t think we should have a child because… I don’t want it to turn out like me.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Madison
I wait for my sister outside on Ralph’s porch. Surveying the land, I notice several vehicles parked in the graveled lot. They must belong to Betty Lou, Janie, Miss Jenny, and a few of her crew who are preparing food in the kitchen for the reception. Big buckets of recently harvested daylilies are lined up against the ancient, white clapboards of the house, ready to be used as interior decorations. Nurse Gale is also here, insisting she help Ralph prepare, even though it’s officially her day off.
“Beverly!” I screech, running across the driveway as she pulls in.
She gets out of her car, and we meet in the middle, our bodies crashing together in a sisterly hug.
“Oh, my goodness. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you’re getting married!”
Grabbing my left hand, Bev searches for an engagement ring. Disappointment mars her pretty face as she looks up at me and frowns. “No ring?”
“Not yet, but I’m sure George will have something for the ceremony,” I reassure.
Beverly immediately unclasps a chain hanging from around her neck and presents it to me. On the chain is our father’s gold wedding band he wore when he was married our mother. The shiny metal pings in the sunlight, the sight of it immediately conjuring up tears in my eyes.
“It was right where you said it would be, in Dad’s cedar chest in your guest room.”
I take the chain and slide the ring off, rolling it back and forth between my fingers. I blink back my muddled vision and sniff. “Thank you.”
