“Nicholai found you?”
“Aye. When I opened my eyes, he sat on a stool but paces away. He said naught, allowed me to discuss my upset if I chose. After a long while, feeling as if I had naught to lose, I admitted the reason for my wanting to be a monk. Admitted?” He scoffed. “Nay. Nicholai prodded me until piece by piece he uncovered the truth. After he explained a man didna serve God as a penance, but out of love.”
Humbled by the trust she inspired, Thomas studied her for a long moment. What was it about the lass that made him want to help her or share his sorrow when for years he’d said little of his past to but a few, men whom he trusted with his life?
Unsure, he focused on the possibly of his being there for her, like Nicholas had been for him so many years before.
“What happened?” she asked.
“Nicholai offered suggestions of occupations morefittingto a life where I could serve God as well as to help others.”
“And still grieving for your brother, you left.”
“Aye.”
Curiosity flickered on her face. “What did you do?”
I became a Knight Templar.Regardless if the Grand Master had absolved the Order in secret, encouraged those who’d slipped away to blend into society and to marry, his life was dedicated to the Brotherhood, to preserve the treasures along with the secrets of the Templars for which many within the Order had died.
He closed his eyes against the painful thoughts of those falsely arrested on charges of heresy, and the many more innocent men whose fate lay in the hands of a traitorous king.
“Thomas?”
With his heart heavy, he opened his eyes, found her watching him with concern. “I fought in distant lands,” he stated, shoving the anger beneath his shame.
She frowned. “You are a mercenary?”
He grunted. “Something like that.”
“Your time studying in this monastery explains your devout manner.”
“What do you mean?”
A blush slid up her cheeks. “Several times during our travel, I have watched you praying when you dinna know I was nearby.”
What else had she observed? She was smart and quick of wit. Bedamned, he should have expected her to notice his actions. In the future he would have to be more alert. As if he wasna too blasted aware of her already. “Many knights have deep faith.”
“They do, but…”
On a sigh, he nodded. “I see the question in your eyes. You may as well ask instead of badgering me in a roundabout way to find out.”
Her expression softened. “’Tis about your father.”
Blast it. After the days they’d spent together, he shouldna have expected her to shy away from topics that would upset him.
“Regardless of your wishes,” she said, “your father will bring you home.”
Drag him if necessary, and with Nicholai in on the scheme, he hadna further recourse. He shrugged. “Unable to get around on my own, ’twould seem I have little choice. Nor do I wish to place the monastery in the middle of a war. If you havena noticed, my father is a stubborn man.”
“I heard stubbornness is an admired trait.”
At the slight teasing in her voice, a smile touched his mouth, and he stilled.
Lavender eyes held his, firm with determination and incredible tenderness.
Never had he believed that he’d find happiness, but somehow, incredibly, she’d roused another emotion within him besides grief. Finding a desperate need to touch her, against his every reason why ’twas reckless, Thomas drew her hand within his. Stunned by an innate sense of rightness, he pulled away.
Tender confusion filled her gaze.
