On a hard swallow, she nodded, skimming her fingers across the cool moss, struggling against the sense of emptiness at thoughts of his leaving. A reckless notion. Never had he intended to be part of her life. As a man, he may want and care about her, but with his loyalty to the Brotherhood, ’twas a life he would never allow himself to consider.
She glanced over. “You miss being a Knight Templar?” Gwendolyn asked despite herself.
“Very much. Almost a year has passed since the arrests began. Yet I still canna wrap my thoughts around the fact that the Brotherhood is nay more than a shell ofits greatness.”
At the anguish within his words, guilt swept her that she’d hesitated to free him from a bond he did not wish for. “What of your father’s title, granted to you by the king?”
“In truth, ’tis still as if a dream. Never did I believe an opportunity to reclaim my legacy would exist.” He shrugged. “Regardless, nobility changes little.”
“I would think your reestablished birthright, along with your family’s stronghold, would change everything.”
Solemn eyes lifted to hers. “Nay. Once Thorburn Castle is reclaimed, I will leave sufficient guard to ensure its protection, then I will return to fight alongside our king until Scotland is united.”
The cool resolve to fulfill his duty was firm, but where was the laughter, the tenderness, those moments that had gone beyond duty andcreated a life?
Like those she and her father had enjoyed. She smothered her deep yearning for Aiden and faced the truth. The closeness she’d believed they had had was a myth. Only her feelings had deepened during their time together, not his.
“Your loyalty to the Bruce is admirable, like my father’s,” she said, unhappiness slidinginto her voice.
A frown curved Aiden’s mouth. “Your father kept you ignorant of his fealty to the Bruce to protect you.”
“He should have trusted me! I am not a simpering lass.”
“He should have.” Aiden paused. “Gwendolyn, there is one more thing Imust tell you.”
Anger slammed through her. “There is naught more Ineed to know.”
He caught her arm as she tried to stand and pulled her back down. She tried to tug free; he held firm.
“’Tis about your father,” he said, his words solemn. “He didnadie in battle.”
“W-what?” she gasped, trying to wrap her mind around his claim.
His hold gentled. “He died in Lord Comyn’s castle. King Robert believes your father’s loyalty to him was discovered and hewas murdered.”
Horror filled her, merging with outrage. She gulped a deep breath, then another. “The bastard! I trusted him, gave him my complete loyalty, when all along he deceived me.”
“He will pay for his treachery,” Aiden hissed.
Angry tears slid down her cheek, and he drew her against him. “Never will Iforgive Comyn.”
“Nor I.”
He stroked her hair as she leaned against him. “’Twould seem my father knew Comyn wasna a man to trust. I only wish,” she said, the hurt at her father easing, “that he had told me.”
“Your father did what hebelieved best.”
Gwendolyn drew in a deep sigh. “I know, but ’tis not easy to accept.” She shook her head. “As if life gives useasy choices.”
Aiden pressed a kiss upon her brow, and her heart ached as she remembered their earlier discussion of his leaving, his departure to give her the life he believed she wanted. Except she did not want him to go, but to remain with her.
On an unsteady breath, she sat back. “After King Robert has united Scotland, will you return to Thorburn Castle?”
For a moment his eyes softened with yearning, then grew cool. “’Tis foolish to think of the future. With each battle, I understand a chance exists ’twill be my last.”
“You canna die,” she gasped.
Mouth tight, he shrugged. “Theday will come.”
