However much he wanted to believe his friend, Aiden grunted. “Gwendolyn has made it abundantly clear that she never wanted to marry.”
“God’s blade, if we had never intervened, what do you think would have happened when the Bruce’s troops seized Latharn Castle?” Cailin demanded. “Do you think her life wouldna havechanged then?”
“Aye, but we never would have met, and her life’s path is for King Robert to decide.”
“A decision,” Cailin said with emphasis, “the king has already made. One I thought you werepleased with.”
Anger blazed inside Aiden, and he damned the hurt, as if a part of him wasn’t being torn apart. “Dinna you understand? How much I care for her matters little. She has lost enough. Nor will I cause her further distress.” A fact he must remember. “Once Latharn Castle is reclaimed, she will have her home and a proper guard. ’Twas all she ever wanted.”
“And what of you?” his friend demanded. “With the dissolution of the Brotherhood, the life we loved, the calling we have livedfor, is gone.”
He scowled at the fierce pang the reminder brought, no doubt deliberate. “Our duty remains. The Templar treasures mustbe protected.”
“An assignment that belongs to Stephan MacQuistan.”
Indeed. A man he respected, and one who was like a brother to him. “Neither can I forget my vow to serve the Bruce.”
“Aiden,” Cailin said, frustration edging his voice, “one day Scotland will be united and the fighting will cease. What will you do then?”
“Return to Thorburn Castle.”
“Blast it, you know I am speaking about your marriage with Gwendolyn, yet you are making me pull any details from you like teeth.”
Aiden rubbed the back of his neck as he stared blindly at the warriors within the torchlight preparing equipment across the camp for the morning’s departure. “As much as I wish otherwise—” He dropped his hand. “I will respect Gwendolyn’s wishesand stay away.”
“With how much you care for the lass, if you do, you are a fool!”
“I would think,” Aiden said, his words soft with warning, “as a Knight Templar, you would understand.”
His friend’s eyes narrowed. “Understand what, your sacrifice of ever being happy?”
“Blast it—”
“You have a wife, one who regardless of what you believe, of the words she offers, wants you,” Cailin stated. “You have allowed pride to dictate your decision, and refuse to give the feelings that exist betweenyou a chance.”
“I never should have involved Gwendolyn in thistwisted mess!”
“You did naught but your duty. Your decisions were made for the good of our sovereign.” Cailin paused. “However unplanned your meeting with the lass, ’twould seem in the end a union that will do more than serve the king’s needs, but ’tis a marriage in which you can find happiness.”
Aiden hesitated, remembering their talk and her questions about his life after. No, ’twas foolish to hope she would entertain thoughts of him in the years ahead. “I will restore what she has lost,” he said, clinging to that logic. “Her home, one without me.”
His friend grunted with disgust. “But youcare for her?”
“Cailin, ’tis not—”
“Admit it!”
Aiden fought to smother the surge of emotion. Failed. Hurt stormed him to think of never seeing her again. He’d believed himself detached from Gwendolyn enough that he could walk away, yet now he realized the truth.
He loved her.
God’s sword. After losing his family during his youth, his years as a Templar had provided a life where naught but friendships were forged, serving Him and protecting Christians traveling through the Holy Land, he’d found a woman who had broken through all defenses.
“I do care for her. She is unlike any woman I have ever met. In truth, I was attracted to her from the start. Except,” he said on a rough swallow, “my feelings will not change my decision. I have given her my word, one that I will not break.”
Disgust flared in Cailin’s eyes. “Does she know about your youth?”
“Leave it!” Aiden said betweenclenched teeth.
