“What of slipping toward the back of the wagon?” Seathan asked. “Do you think she was trying to leave?”
“There could be many reasons for her quietly moving about the wagon, including consideration,” Patrik stated, recalling his own unjust accusations within the loft when he’d believed she was searching for the writ. “I was injured and asleep. Marie and her daughter slept nearby.” He glanced toward Alexander. “You saw her moving about, not trying to leave the wagon.”
Alexander muttered a curse. “I know what I saw, but aye, as you said, I do not have proof.” He slanted his brothers a look, then faced Patrik. “We know you care for the lass. Your feelings may sway your thoughts.”
“My thoughts are nae swayed,” Patrik stated, his voice cool.
“Mayhap,” Duncan said, “but is she a woman you can trust?”
Pride filled him. “I have placed my life within Cristina’s hands throughout our journey.”
“But do you trust her?” Seathan asked with no accusation.
Patrik’s doubts again came to mind, and one by one each fell away. An ache built in his heart, like an arrow to his soul.
“Aye.” That, and more. The realization shook Patrik to the very core. Images of their bodies entwined as they’d made love filled his mind, and he recalled their talks as he’d held her after. “I love her,” he whispered, shocked by the words as much as that he’d spoken them.
“By my sword,” Alexander muttered. “You did not even know your feelings for the lass?”
“No.” Patrik gave a rough laugh, his mind floundering with the revelation. “Saint’s breath, until this moment, I was focused only on the mission.”
“Her actions show that she cares for you,” Seathan said, “but does she love you as well?”
“I do not know.” Sadness wove through Patrik. “It matters not. However much I care for the lass, until Scotland is free, I can offer her no guarantees.”
Duncan grunted. “As if any of us can offer our wives the same? I have twin daughters now, yet I go on. We cannot wait for sure things before we continue with our lives.”
Frustration surged through Patrik. “Easily said when you have a family to shelter you.”
“A family your actions sought to destroy,” Alexander charged.
Patrik shook his head. “Nae, a family I sought to protect. I have explained my reasons.” Patrik paused. “And I understand you can never find forgiveness.” Somber, he shook his head. “As I said before, once I am well enough, I will leave. Before I go, I ask to be allowed to ride with you to free Bishop Wishart.”
“You will leave after we have found you?” Duncan asked.
“Found me?” Patrik gave a cold laugh. “Nae, I chose to reveal myself.”
“And now?” Seathan asked.
“Now?” Patrik stared at the men within the chamber, brothers of his heart. “Have I a choice?”
Tense silence filled the room.
Seathan cast a glance at Alexander.
“Aye,” Alexander said. “’Tis up to you to choose if you remain. We are family. Wrongs were committed, but they are past.”
“You forgive me?” Patrik asked, stunned, afraid to repeat the words as if they would be swept away.
Alexander grimaced. “I am working on it. It is not something I can rush nor lie about. As for Nichola, ’twill be her decision to make.”
Nichola. The woman who was the gateway to his true acceptance within their family. “Do you think she will ever forgive me?”
Alexander shrugged. “I do not know.”
Tension vibrated within the chamber. Patrik swallowed hard, prayed he would find a way to overcome the wrongs he’d done her. He touched the halved malachite around his neck, caught his brothers stealing glances at the other. “What?”
Seathan grimaced. “Your malachite.”
