“I love you.”
At the same moment he spoke, torn by grief at his leaving, she blurted out, “I know you must return to Scotland. And I understand your not forgiving me, but . . .” His declaration echoed in her mind and she paused, stared at him in disbelief. “Y—you love me?”
Tenderness creased his face as his eyes darkened with need. “Aye, very much.” Then his mouth captured hers in a long, hot kiss. As he drew back, he watched her, his eyes solemn.
Joy burst through her; she wanted him, needed him forever. “I love you so much. I was afraid that—”
“I need to explain. I knew I cared for you, deeply. As you lay ill and in a delirium at the inn, the thought of never seeing you again or making love with you ’twas unthinkable.” Colyne brushed a kiss tenderly across her mouth. “The guards arrived and arrested me before you became lucid enough for me to tell you. Know this,” he rasped. “I canna imagine my life without you, of nae sharing the smallest joy with you, or a day passing without seeing your smile.” He swallowed hard. “As they led me to the executioner, my greatest fear was that I would never again see you, that you would never know how I feel.”
At his heartfelt admission, tears blurred her eyes. When he started to speak, she shook her head. “I want to explain why I kept so much from you.”
“Marie, I understand—”
“Please listen.”
He nodded.
She released a long, unsteady breath. “Over the years I have learned that men wanted not me but a tie to my father. Throughout our journey, I hesitated to expose my true feelings because I was afraid to be hurt. After we made love I wanted to tell you, but you did not know who I was. Then I realized the gravity of my selfish actions. I was afraid for your life if my father or my betrothed learned of our intimacy.” Her lower lip quivered. “I will never regret our intimacy. But with you unaware of the possible repercussions, I was wrong to continue to allow your ignorance. For that I am sorry. At least neither my father nor my betrothed are aware of my indiscretions.”
“They know,” Colyne said quietly.
Guilt swept her, and she despised her actions even more. “Mon Dieu, how can you ever forgive me?”
“How can I nae? I love you,” he whispered. “Neither am I without guilt. We had nae said our vows before God within the sanctity of the church, yet I came to your bed.”
Warmth swept her cheeks. “I gave you little choice.”
His brow quirked with amusement. “I agree that your being an amazing and beautiful woman made my decision difficult. But,” he said, his voice growing somber, “aware you were an innocent, I knew as well the responsibilities of my decision.”
Mayhap, but considering all the facts, her actions far from absolved her of sin. “Now what?”
“Now,” Colyne said, taking her hand, “I will be asking the woman I love for her hand in marriage.”
Tightness squeezed her chest as she stepped back. Numb, aching, hating what she must say, she walked to the window, stared out. “As much as I wish it,” she whispered, “as much as thoughts of a life with you fulfill my every dream, regrettably, it is not possible.”
Colyne’s quiet steps paused behind her.
A sob built in her throat.
He caught her shoulder and gently turned her. Eyes raw with torment scanned hers. “Why nae?”
A tear slid down her cheek in a cool path. With a sniff, she wiped it away. “You may be able to believe my father could be made to accept our indiscretion, but from Gaston’s manner, I assure you that it is not possible.”
His blue eyes narrowed. “Do you love the duke?”
She stared at him in disbelief. “How can you ask that after everything I just said? You have met Gaston, have seen firsthand his fierce intention to keep what is his.”
A muscle worked in his jaw. “Is that what you are, a possession to be won?”
Marie bristled. “I am my own woman. But I also made a vow to my father, a man who raised me with love when many would never have recognized a bastard daughter. Never would I wish to hurt him.”
“Would you nae hurt him more by marrying a man you do nae love?”
Marie stilled. Throughout her life, grateful for her father’s love, she’d always complied with his wishes. When she reached marriageable age, without feelings for anyone and with his expectation of her to wed, she’d entered into an arranged betrothal without hesitation. With Colyne’s question, she wondered what her father’s reaction would be if she asked to be released from her agreement to marry the duke.
Her stomach twisted. Never before had she defied her father’s bidding, but she was no longer a child. She took his hand, lay it over her heart. “I love you and I want a life with you. I will speak with my father and request he break the betrothal.”
Eyes fierce, Colyne’s gaze held hers. “I have nae found you only to let you go.”
