“Yes,” said Darcy without demurring. “Her other relations are so low, that without you as her future brother-in-law, I would have to consider her to be unsuitable.”
“Ah,” said Worsley. “I believe I see now why my future sister is so completely opposed to you.”
“And will you be sharing your great wisdom?” asked Darcy.
Worsley laughed briefly, but he became serious quickly. “By denigrating most of her relations, you are showing that you have no respect for anyone she loves. Her low relations, which you only see as names and titles, are everything to her. If you cannot respect that part of her, you will never respect her, and the one thing Elizabeth will never tolerate from a husband, or even a friend, is lack of respect.”
Such a viewpoint had never occurred to Darcy, though it should have. By looking down on her connections, by being cold to her neighbors, he was indirectly looking down on and being cold toward her. If he ever wanted to gain her attention, he would have to adjust how he thought about and responded to people.
“Why didn’t you have this problem?” Darcy asked Worsley. “With Mrs. Allen, I mean. You are of even higher status than I am.”
“Mary is very different from her sisters,” said Worsley. “She is not as romantic nor as emotional as they are, at least not overtly. Additionally, she married Mr. Allen when she was just sixteen and was subsequently introduced to, and accepted by, a much higher society than that of her sisters. This is why I wasintroduced to her in the first place. As for myself, I care very little for who her relations are, though I would do anything in my power to make her happy, including freely associating with anyone she deems worth associating with.”
“I believe the salient fact is the last one,” said Darcy. “The question then is, do I respect Miss Elizabeth’s judgment enough to be associated with those who she respects? Do I like her enough to be willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy?”
“Those sound like good questions,” said Worsley. “Do you have answers?”
“Not at the moment,” replied Darcy. “I will have to think on it.”
Silence pervaded the room while Darcy pondered. “You never did explain why my attempted apology simply angered her further,” he said, eventually.
Worsley chuckled. “She didn’t believe you. Elizabeth has it so firmly fixed in her mind that her older sister, Jane, is the pretty one that your exaggerated compliment felt false to her. She thought you were making fun of her appearance, teasing her for being so arrogant as to take offence when you called her merely tolerable. In short, because your compliment was so far above what she could believe it ended up cutting her to the quick.”
“But I was entirely sincere,” said Darcy. “In that moment, with the fire of anger in her eyes, she was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen.”
Worsley held up his hands defensively. “I believe you, Darcy. I feel the same way at times when watching Mary’s changing expression as she ponders a new topic.”
Silence fell again. Then, Darcy said, “Suppose I decide that I do like Miss Elizabeth to such a degree that I would be willing toadjust my entire outlook on life. How do I apologize to her when she won’t even speak to me?”
Worsley raised his eyebrows. “If you are asking that question, I imagine you are more serious than you previously indicated.”
Darcy shrugged one shoulder. “Perhaps,” he said. “I have drawn no firm conclusion yet.”
Worsley nodded. “I am no expert on apologies, especially not to ladies. I am too young for that. The only thing that comes to mind is that if she will not hear you out, perhaps you could write a letter. If you did, I would ensure she gets it in a discreet way. I cannot promise whether she will read it, however.”
Darcy nodded in return. “I believe I will take you up on that offer, but I should take another day or two to be certain of my course. Thank you, Worsley, you have been of enormous help.”
“Not at all,” said Worsley. “I am merely looking after the happiness of my future sister, and by extension, my future wife.”
Chapter 16
Elizabeth had accepted that Mr. Darcy was cold and haughty, but she had never imagined he could be deliberately cruel…until the party at Lucas Lodge.
Under the guise of pretending to apologize, he had delivered the most hurtful thing anyone had ever said to her. It wasn’t what he said. On the surface, it sounded like a compliment. No, it was the way he said it. With coldness in his eyes and an expressionless face, he gave her a patently false compliment, exaggerated to the point where it could in no way be mistaken for truth. By doing so, he had merely emphasized how very unpleasant she was to look at.
She couldn’t fathom why he did it or what he gained by such behavior. Maybe he was the kind of twisted soul who enjoyed inflicting pain. Elizabeth did not know, but she did know one thing. She would not allow herself to be subjected to any additional pain from that source.
Any time he attempted to approach her since, she had merely excused herself from the conversation. She wished she could simply turn her back on him, cut him from her life and her list of acquaintances, but he was too far above her in society for such an action to be wise. So, she contented herself with avoiding him while staying just barely within the bounds of acceptable behavior. She looked forward to the day he left the neighborhood and went back to wherever he came from.
Two weeks after that horrid night at Lucas Lodge, Mary’s fiancé, Mr. Worsley, handed a letter to Elizabeth. When she asked who it was from, he would not say, only indicating that she should read it.
Elizabeth opened the letter and almost immediately realized it was from Mr. Darcy. Her immediate instinct was to drop it like a hot poker, but she managed to contain that impulse. She did, however, look at Mr. Worsley questioningly. “Why are you delivering a letter from Mr. Darcy to me?” she asked. “He can have nothing to say that I would wish to know. Besides, I do not understand why you are the messenger here.”
“I am the messenger, because he is a friend of mine,” said Mr. Worsley. “An awkward, somewhat proud friend, but a friend nonetheless. I honestly think you should read the letter, as he has put a great deal of thought into it, nearly two days’ worth. However, I would not blame you either should you choose to throw it in the fire. I understand how much he has hurt you.”
Mr. Worsley’s face was genuinely concerned for her, and Elizabeth was, once again, very pleased for her sister. She had found a very good man to marry. She looked over at Mary, who was sitting next to Mr. Worsley on the sofa. They were holding hands.
“Elizabeth, it would be good for you if you could find a way to forgive Mr. Darcy,” said Mary. “Longstanding anger only festers in the soul, hurting you a great deal in the long run. Perhaps, Mr. Darcy’s letter will contain an explanation of his actions that will make it possible for you to let go of your anger.”
