But Kitty was a child. Just seventeen. Stephen was thirty-one at the time. Though she had the shape of a woman, Stephen treated her as a child, thought of her as a child.
At Darcy’s dinner party, all of Stephen’s fond memories of Kitty were shattered. She arrived at the party in company with Mr. and Mrs. Bingley. She was wearing a light blue, silk gown with a dark blue ribbon at the waist.
Stephen didn’t think he would ever forget how she looked that day. Kitty was no longer a child. It had only been a bit more than a year since he last saw her, and the changes in her were subtle, but she was most definitely not a child any longer.
Not knowing what to do with this new perspective or the instant attraction he felt towards her, he did not engage her in conversation. He didn’t know how to talk to her without being silly, but Viscount Hilldale, oldest son of the Earl of Matlock, could not behave like a child in front of a grown woman.
His mind did not clear enough to be able to talk to her until late in the evening, by which point it was too late. She was leaving. For one wild moment, he wished he could race after her, talk to her, make her laugh, or just make her look at him. But he didn’t. He couldn’t.
He waited for the next time he would see her again. He knew she was in London, so he thought it was inevitable, but it never happened.
In the end, he let her go. His attraction was pointless, anyway. She was not the kind of lady one could dally with, and she was also not the kind of lady who would ever marry. She had been most adamant on that point.
Stephen spent the rest of the year trying to forget her.
Now, at the very first ball he had attended this year, she was standing before him, even more beautiful than when he saw her last, even more grown-up. Spending time with her was dangerous, but when he saw his own brother attempt to claim her company for supper, he spoke before thinking.
It was a bad habit of his, especially around Kitty.
After a short interlude, Kitty was led away by Richard to the dance floor, and Stephen watched them dance for a full set. His attention was fixed, and no force could move it.
She danced gracefully, which was unsurprising. She had attended the same school as Georgiana. Gracefulness and dancing were high priorities at such schools. She conversed easily with Richard, smiling occasionally, but there was a cheerfulness and energy that were missing from her manner.
Stephen knew what Kitty looked like when she was happy, and he knew what she looked like when merely smiling politely. Even in Hertfordshire, her expression was usually the latter, but here in London, she seemed even more subdued. He wondered why.
In an attempt to take his mind off of the one lady he could not have, Stephen signed far more dance cards than he usually did. He promised dances for every single dance until supper. He knew his behavior would start rumors that he might finally be in the market for a second wife, but he didn’t care. Such rumors were far better than for all of London to be talking about how he had stared at Miss Catherine Bennet for hours on end.
At long last, the time for his dance with Kitty came. Despite their past friendship, her gaze was wary as he came to claim his dance and lead her to their place.
“You don’t need to be afraid of me,” he said, trying to restore the old camaraderie they had shared in Hertfordshire. “I promise I won’t bite. You, of all people, should know that my bark is worse than my bite.”
“I do know that,” she said, “but being bitten is not the only way to be hurt.” There was a pause, then she added. “I simply don’t know what to make of you in this environment.”
“I am Viscount Hilldale to most of these people,” he said. “A title and a fortune rolled into one convenient package, but that is not how you have ever treated me.”
“Exactly,” said Kitty. “I was mistaken, and I am afraid I have overstepped boundaries that should not have been ignored.”
“No!” he said a little too loudly. He waited a moment for those around them to stop staring. “No,” he said more quietly, “I was grateful. To you, I was a person. I would like to remain so in your eyes.”
She looked at him curiously as they circled around each other as part of the dance. “I do not see how that is possible,” she said. “I am a creature of society and rules, just as my education has made me. While at home, I might have felt free enough to behave as I liked, here in London, it is a different situation altogether. Can you imagine the talk we might incite were anyone else to hear you call me Kitty, or if I visited your home so that I could see how Travis was doing? It would be a scandal.”
“Since you do not intend to ever marry, what difference does that make?” he asked.
“While I can live without a husband, I cannot live without friends,” she answered.
She was correct. A man could flout convention and behave just the way he wished, and there would be few repercussions. A woman would be ostracized if she was perceived as being too fast.
“Well, if you wish to reunite with my son, I can certainly bring him with me when I come to Darcy House. That is easy enough. As for your name, I am afraid I cannot call you anything other than Kitty,” he said. “I believe I shall do so for the rest of my life. Since you are now my cousin’s sister, I think we can get away with it, especially if you will deign to call me Stephen in return.”
Kitty’s eyes widened. “You cannot mean that, my Lord.”
“I do mean it,” he said. “Try it.”
“Stephen,” she said, slowly, her gaze never leaving his face.
A frisson of pleasure traveled down his spine. He had not enjoyed hearing his name on anyone’s lips since the day he married his late wife. With one word, Kitty had wiped all of that away. “See, that wasn’t so difficult,” he said.
She looked nervously around as if she was afraid someone had heard her. “Is this truly acceptable?” she asked.
“Of course,” he replied, though he knew they were pushing the bounds of what others might tolerate.
“Does that mean I should call your brother by his first name as well?” she asked.
“Of course not,” he replied quickly as though the mere idea were ridiculous. “You do not know him nearly was well as you know me.”
“I suppose not,” she said. “Before tonight, I had only spoken with him a couple of times at Pemberley, and that was four years ago.”
They danced in silence for some time, but he eventually broke that silence by saying, “Now, Kitty, do tell me what you have been up to these last two years.”
She began telling him, speaking hesitantly at first. As he responded and questioned her, though, she began to relax, and he began to hope that they might be able to be the good friends they once were. And nothing more.
