Stephen was attracted to her.
The idea was ridiculous. It simply could not be. He was adamant that he had no wish to ever marry again. She was the same, determined to remain single for the sake of her sisters. She had never even thought about any man in a romantic light, simply because there was no point. In some ways this mutualdetermination to remain single was the very basis of their friendship.
Stephen, however, had always been different from anyone else she had known. From the moment she first conversed with him when she was merely fifteen, he had always drawn her attention. She had been inordinately glad of his friendship when he came to Hertfordshire, for it had lifted her out of her boredom, though she had been plunged right back into it when he left.
This season in London, however, had been very different from their past interactions. He called on her two or three times a week simply to chat with her, sometimes bringing his son along with him. He made it a point to converse with her at every event they attended together. He always danced either the first dance or the supper dance with her whenever there was dancing. Catherine had been vaguely aware that something had changed, but she had avoided thinking about it too much. She simply focused on the enjoyment of the moment.
Catherine looked at Stephen’s lips, and she suddenly wondered what they felt like. What would it feel like to touch them, to feel them on the back of her hand, on her cheek…on her own lips?
She was shocked at her own thoughts, and she felt a blush grow on her cheeks. By the time she raised her gaze back to his eyes, there was a puzzled look on his face.
“Um…I suddenly feel a bit overwarm. I think I need the cooler air of the hallway. If you will excuse me,” she said.
“I can accompany you if you aren’t feeling well,” said Stephen. He was concerned.
“No!” she said more forcefully than intended. His concern shifted to pain, but she could not stay to soothe the pain shehad caused. “I just need to be alone for a bit. I will be well, I promise.”
She then rushed out the door.
There was an open window right by the front door, and Catherine stood there for ten minutes, gazing unseeingly out at the night. She focused on breathing in and breathing out, and she forced all the ridiculous thoughts out of her head.
It was a struggle. Now that she had allowed herself to become aware of her attraction to Stephen, such awareness did not wish to be buried once again. Yet, she fought with herself with persistence, for she knew that if she gave into such feelings it would only lead to heartache. After ten minutes of internal warfare, she finally emerged the victor.
With her equanimity restored, she returned to the drawing room, though she made it a point of avoiding Stephen for the rest of the night.
~~~~~
The next day, Colonel Benedict called at the Darcys’ house, asking for a private word with Lydia. They were gone so long that Elizabeth mentioned that perhaps she should check on them, but before she could, they returned to the parlor.
“Robert has proposed, and I have accepted,” said Lydia.
Catherine noticed that Lydia’s lips were redder than usual, and her cheeks were pinker. There was even a slightly red mark on her neck that Catherine refused to think about.
Elizabeth also seemed to notice these things, for she said in a stern tone, “I am truly happy for you both, but I must insist that you be carefully chaperoned from now until the day you are married. Am I clear?”
“Oh, Lizzy,” said Lydia, “you worry far too much. Robert would never hurt me.”
“Him hurting you is not what I am concerned about. Youwillbe chaperoned. Colonel Benedict, I expect your willing cooperation on this. Our father has complete control over Lydia’s dowry, and if he senses you will be anticipating your vows in any way, he may very well withhold it.”
Catherine thought Elizabeth was going a bit overboard on the subject, but considering how very coarse Colonel Benedict could be, perhaps it was warranted.
“Did you have a chance to discuss a wedding date?” asked Georgiana.
“No,” said the colonel. “Though I would prefer it happen sooner rather than later. No more than two weeks. What do you think, Lydia?”
“Definitely not more than two weeks, especially if Lizzy is going to be so strict with us.”
“If the wedding will be so soon, perhaps I should go home to help Mama prepare for your wedding breakfast,” said Catherine. “I assume you will be staying here until just before the wedding so you can purchase new clothing.”
“Oh, yes,” said Lydia, “I had forgotten all about the wedding clothes.”
In that moment, Catherine knew her sister truly loved her future husband. She was not getting married simply for the sake of being a married woman. Never in her life had Lydia forgotten about her clothing or her appearance. Never. Not even as a child.
“In that case, there is even more reason for me to head back to Longbourn as soon as possible. I will need to discuss with Papa how much he will allow me to contribute to your wardrobe.”
Lydia’s face lit up with even more delight, which Catherine would not have deemed possible only moments before. “Oh, Kitty, that would be wonderful. Since you already gave me my dowry, I didn’t expect this.”
Catherine hugged her sister. “I only want you to be happy, Lydia,” she said.
