“I believe I will,” said Catherine.
“Does that mean youarethinking of marrying him? Do you love him in return?” asked Georgiana.
“I don’t know yet,” said Catherine. “I spent so long thinking I would never marry that I never gave any thought to what it would be like to be in love or what kind of husband I wanted. Stephen is certainly attractive.” Georgiana giggled at this. “And I do like him a great deal. I even like Travis. But at the moment I am just getting used to the idea of possibly falling in love.”
“Well, you have a whole month here,” said Georgiana. “That should be plenty of time to make up your mind. Honestly, I hope you do marry him. It is too late for you to be my sister, but being my cousin would be the next best thing. Besides, I can seehow happy you both are together, and that is the most important thing.”
The two friends sat talking for another half hour. Then, Georgiana went back to her own room. Even after Catherine blew out her candle, it took her a long time to fall asleep that night, since her thoughts were full of a certain Viscount.
~~~~~
The following day, the guests were invited to go riding together. Those that did not wish to ride could remain behind with Elizabeth. Both Catherine and Stephen chose to be in the group that went riding.
It didn’t take long for them to separate from the group. Catherine was never quite certain whether it was her decision or his for them to go their own way. It simply seemed inevitable.
When they were out of earshot of anyone else, Catherine said, “Will you tell me of your wife?”
Stephen’s expression was suddenly pained, and she felt a little guilty asking. He was silent for a bit, but he eventually said, “I suppose you have a right to know.” Again, he was silent. Catherine simply waited.
“My father insisted that I marry when I was twenty-five. You know me and how childish and selfish I am. At the time, I was even more so. I had no desire to have the responsibility of a wife, nor did I feel ready to be a father. But my own father insisted that the succession of the earldom must be secured.
“There was not time for me to look about and find a lady I actually liked, at least not in my father’s eyes. Instead, he insisted that I marry the daughter of another earl, Matilda. She was nice enough and pretty enough, so I capitulated. I assumedmy own marriage would be like my parents’. They never loved each other but they got along well enough.”
Stephen paused and looked out over the scenery, seeming to gather his thoughts or possibly his courage. “It was nothing like my parents’ marriage. From the moment we were officially married, Matilda was demanding and demeaning. I claim that I am selfish, but I have never known a more selfish woman than her. She was absolutely incapable of thinking of anyone’s desires other than her own, not even her son’s. When she wanted something that wasn’t immediately granted, whoever or whatever stood in her way was berated unendingly. Her most frequent target was me, at least until I began spending more time outside my home than within its walls.”
He paused again. This time, he took several deep breaths before continuing. “The next part may be a bit too much for maidenly ears, but considering our possible future together, it is something you should know.
“Shortly before I met you, I discovered that Matilda was pregnant. I knew her child could not be mine. It was absolutely impossible. I was not incensed that she had betrayed her wedding vows, but I did not wish to spend money raising a child that was not mine. Perhaps it was selfish of me, but I like to think that, since I knew I could never love such a child, it was only right that I not claim it.
“I resolved to divorce her, knowing it would take some time. I was in the process of creating the request to submit to parliament when Matilda went into early labor in November of that year. Neither she nor the child survived. You may think poorly of me, but I was honestly relieved.”
“Considering what she had put you through, I do not think that was an unreasonable reaction,” said Catherine.
For the first time since he began speaking, Stephen looked at her. There was surprise in his eyes. “You are not shocked. Your voice is as calm as ever and your expression placid. After such a story, how can you not be shocked?”
“I suppose I am a little shocked,” said Catherine, “but it is more at her behavior than yours. If I was mistreated so badly that I no longer felt welcome in my own home, I might feel relieved, too, if the problem simply went away.”
“That is it, exactly,” said Stephen. “It wasn’t that I was glad she was dead, not really. I was relieved that the problem was resolved.”
The two of them rode in silence for a time. Eventually, Catherine said, “Thank you for telling me. That must have been difficult for you.”
“Thank you for listening,” he said.
Catherine could tell he wished to say more, but he did not. After a time, Catherine changed the subject, asking him to tell her about the lake they could see off to her right. He cheerfully told her of the adventures he, Richard, and Darcy had encountered as boys while playing near its shores.
They talked and rode for an hour, possibly longer. As they neared the house on their return journey, Catherine said, “I have not seen Travis since arriving. Did you bring him with you?”
“Not this time,” said Stephen. “My time here has one purpose, and I prefer to devote all my attention to it. I will admit, though only to you, that I miss him already. Do not worry too much about him, though. He is spending the summer at the estate of an old friend of mine, about ten miles away. There are other children for him to play with there, and he is surely enjoying himself.”
Catherine knew what he referred to when he said he had only one purpose here, but she was glad he did not say what it was. She was not yet ready to put her feelings into words or commit the rest of her life in any particular direction.
