“It is. Such exclusivity comes at a steep cost. The expense, however, will be paid with your own money and will make no significant dent in the total,” answered Papa. “That is another reason why I will leave the decision up to you.”
“I understand now that it is my decision,” said Catherine, “but I would like to know what you would advise.”
Papa looked at her for a time, as if he were gauging how she would react to what he wished to say. “I believe strongly that you should go,” he said, “and I will tell you why. You tend to be more of a follower than a leader. You are frequently attempting to copy either Lizzy or Jane. You even tend to tag along on Lydia’s adventures even when you don’t wish to.
“With your fortune, no matter who you marry, or even if you do not marry at all, you will need to be able to stand on your own two feet and make decisions for yourself. You will only learn to do this if you are separated from your sisters for a time.”
Catherine put her hand on her chin as she thought through her father’s advice. He was right in a way. She didn’t truly know how she should act most of the time, so she tended to copy those around her. Most of the time, life was simpler if she didn’t have to think too much for herself. He was wrong, however, about her reasons for playing with Lydia as frequently as she did.
Lydia was the youngest, and Catherine was the only sister even close to Lydia’s age. Mary was three years older than Lydia, but she was too serious. Lizzy was more energetic and fun, butshe was five years older than Lydia and on the cusp of being out. If Catherine didn’t play with Lydia, her youngest sister would always be left alone.
“I will go,” said Catherine, “but only if Lydia can be sent to school as well. If I am not here, she will have no one to play with, and I don’t want her to be lonely.”
“I cannot send her to the same school as you,” said Papa. “For one thing, they only have one opening. For another, the education would not be appropriate to her expected station in life. Unlike you, she does not have an enormous fortune.”
“That is fine,” said Catherine. “All I want is for her to go to the kind of school that a gentleman’s daughter should attend. I simply wish for her to be able to make friends just like I will. I do not mind if the expense for her comes from my fortune as well.”
“I accede to your request,” Papa said, “but I will pay for Lydia’s education. That should not be your responsibility.”
“Thank you, Papa,” said Catherine.
“I will need to write some letters and make arrangements, but I expect all will be ready for you to go to your new school just after Twelfth Night.”
Papa was correct. On January eighth, 1808, both Catherine and Lydia boarded the family carriage along with Papa, each heading for different schools in London. The carriage took Lydia to her school first. Catherine waited in the carriage while Papa and the footman took Lydia’s trunk inside to get her settled into her new place.
While she waited, her nervousness manifested itself in the way she completely mangled the handkerchief she was carrying. Catherine was nervous to be going to school away from everyone she had ever known, but she was also nervous about entering a level of society with which she was unfamiliar. A part of her wasconvinced she would embarrass herself from doing everything wrong, that she would not be able to make friends.
After what felt like hours, Papa and their footman finally returned to the carriage, and Papa gave orders to proceed to Catherine’s new school. It was called Mrs. Gordon’s School for Outstanding Young Ladies, but Catherine didn’t feel particularly outstanding.
In fact, despite Papa’s insistence that her fortune would place her at a different social level than her sisters, she still felt as though she were the least of all of them. All of Catherine’s sisters were stronger or better than her in some way. Jane was prettier. Elizabeth was more intelligent. Mary was firmer in her standards and behavior. Lydia was more energetic. Catherine was just Kitty to most people, mousy, normal, and frequently fading into the background.
The carriage proceeded through the streets of London. As they traveled, the houses they passed gradually grew larger, and the streets and sidewalks were cleaner. They finally stopped in front of a four-story-townhome. Its wide stance and many windows made it the largest and grandest home Catherine had yet seen in the city.
It didn’t look much like a school to Catherine, but she supposed that such a large building could likely be anything it wished to be.
Papa helped her down from the carriage, and they made their way up to the door where Papa knocked firmly. An older lady, likely the housekeeper based on the way she was dressed, answered the door, and Papa told her who they were.
“Of course, of course,” the lady answered. “Come in. We’ve been expecting you Miss Bennet. We are all at odds and endstoday, since most of our girls are coming back from Christmas break, but I will find a maid to show you to your room.”
The lady led them into the large entry hall, and Catherine could see what she meant by them being busy. There were several trunks scattered around, waiting for a servant to take them where they belonged. In the brief moment between when the lady let them in and when she next spoke, Catherine saw two maids and a footman scurry through the room, each heading in different directions.
“If you would be so kind as to wait here,” she said to Catherine, “I will fetch a maid for you.” She then turned to Papa. “You should say your farewells here. No men, not even footmen, are allowed on the floor which contains our pupils’ bedrooms. I am certain you understand.”
“Of course,” Papa said. “Shall I have her trunks brought into this entryway like the others?” He gestured at the trunks that were already there. As he spoke, two maids lifted one of them and began taking it up the stairs.
Catherine’s eyebrows rose at the sight. It was usually the job of footmen to do such difficult tasks. Upon thinking about it for a moment, she realized that if footmen weren’t allowed in the students’ bedrooms, then they couldn’t take the trunks up.
The lady responded, “Are Miss Bennets’ trunks clearly labeled?” When Papa nodded, she said, “Then you may leave them here. The maids will see that they are taken up to her room as soon as possible.” She then walked away.
Papa said, “I will go fetch your trunks,” and he walked back toward the front door.
Catherine was left alone in a strange house. The servants around her each seemed to have a purpose and were busyingthemselves accomplishing it. She was simply there. She felt out of place and alone despite the people around her.
Papa and their footman returned first, but before they could leave again to fetch Catherine’s second trunk, the housekeeper returned with a maid in tow. She said to Catherine, “This is Millie. She will be personal maid to you and your roommate, Miss Darcy. If you need anything, speak to Millie first. Do not bother any of the other servants unless Millie is not available for some reason. Now, it is time to say farewell to your Papa.”
Catherine turned to her father. Though he was not usually particularly affectionate, he swept her up into a firm hug and kissed her forehead. “Do not be afraid, Kitty. You should be very comfortable here, and I will depend on hearing from you every week. I am certain your Mama shall write often with all the news of home.”
Papa bent down and whispered just loud enough for her to hear, “If you are not happy here, you may leave at any time. Just send word, and I will come and get you.”
“Thank you, Papa,” Catherine said, and she put her arms around her father’s neck for one final hug.
She could see her father heading for the door as she turned towards Millie. The housekeeper seemed to have vanished in the interim, so she told the maid, “I am ready.”
Millie gestured toward the stairs and said, “This way, Miss.”
