She would fail in her primary duty to produce an heir for her dukedom, letting down her whole family as well as the Prince Regent. Either that, or she would marry someone, anyone, and be miserable for the rest of her life.
She was so absorbed in her downward spiral of disappointment that she was surprised when she heard ColonelFitzwilliam speak. “Any man who was fortunate enough to be allowed to exchange marriage vows with you would be an absolute fool to break them.”
Jane’s feet stopped moving, and her head jerked around to stare at him. There was warmth in his eyes but also a significant amount of nervousness.
“You are only saying that because of my looks,” she said as her eyes narrowed in doubt. This cynicism she had been forced to adopt was something she absolutely despised about herself. She was used to always looking for the best in people, but such behavior would not serve a lady who would someday be a duchess.
“You are beautiful,” he said. “Of that there is no doubt. And if your mother’s appearance is anything to go by, you will likely remain beautiful for many years to come. But that is not why I said what I did. It is your character that is even more beautiful: your innate kindness that you have been forced to cover up to protect yourself, your strong moral standards that will make you an excellent duchess someday, and your fortitude and integrity in determining what is best and following through on your decisions.”
Tears stung Jane’s eyes, but she could not let him see. So, she turned forward again and began walking while he easily kept pace beside her. He had seen her, despite the cynical, jaded front she had tried to put up. He had looked past her beautiful face and perfect figure. He had seenher!
Such an experience was attractive in the extreme. For one wild moment, she was tempted to ask him to marry her on the spot. She did not, of course. After all, he could be an accomplished flirt, all the more successful for being able to accurately discern what a lady wished to hear.
She decided to think about it later.
“So, tell me of some of the places you have traveled,” she said, bringing them back to their earlier subject. “Have you seen the sea?”
He allowed the change of subject without comment, and they spent the rest of their walk chatting amicably about various places they had been and the places they would like to visit.
When Jane arrived home after their walk, she went to see her father.
Without preamble, Jane said, “Papa, I would like you to have your men investigate Colonel Fitzwilliam to ascertain if he would make a suitable husband for me.”
Papa’s eyebrows rose to comedic heights. “That was quick,” he said. “I had assumed you would not find anyone you liked until at least halfway through the social season next year.”
“I have not decided on anything,” she said. “I am only considering the possibility.”
“Very well,” he replied. “I shall dispatch my men to uncover everything it is possible to uncover about our intrepid colonel.”
Chapter 17
Felix Appleby, heir to the Duke of Sansbury, walked down a pleasant street in Mayfair. The street was lined with large homes, of the kind one only found in the most expensive part of the district. In fact, his own home was merely one block away.
But he was not walking down this street because he lived on it. Rather, he was walking toward Derby House. As he approached, he wondered if today would be the day he would finally ring the bell and ask to see Lady Mary.
He had walked past this house every day since the ball that introduced Duke Derby’s daughters to society, seven days in total. The reason for that was not, as it might appear, obsession, affection, or attraction, at least not in the typical meaning of those words. The best word to describe how he felt about Lady Mary was curiosity.
She was fundamentally uninteresting, at least that was his opinion after his dance with her. He had tried to speak of topics nearly anyone would have some knowledge of, but still she said very little. It was only later, when he noticed she was not feeling well, that he began to think about her with any degree of interest.
As he tried to help her, she repeatedly attempted to push him away. It was a novel experience for Felix. His status and wealth ensured that nearly any lady in London would be overjoyed to be the object of his attention, even if it was simply that he picked up something that they dropped.
Lady Mary, however, was not one of them, and the novelty of the situation made him reluctant to leave her side.
It was only after she explained that she had been forgotten by Mr. Hounsworth, that he began to realize that she was not pushing him away because she disliked him or because he made her uncomfortable. Rather, she was expecting him to leave, and she was providing him the opportunity to do so.
Pity for the young lady who was always left out or passed over welled up within him, and he resolved, just for one evening, to give her the attention that she certainly deserved, not because she was a Lady but because she was a person.
As they began to speak more openly, however, he learned that there was much more to this lady than was easily discernable. Her ideas on morality were unique, and her knowledge of literature in general and philosophy specifically was unusually vast for a lady. Thoughts he had only ever heard expressed by his tutor came out of this Lady’s mouth as if they were common knowledge.
And they were not all nice, happy thoughts like one would expect from a wealthy, sheltered young lady. She was, in fact, quite cynical at times and almost always objective, as if she were looking at society from an outside perspective rather than being a part of it.
Altogether, it made for the most cerebral discussion he had ever had at a ball.
He longed to have such a discussion again. His friends here in London were all good company, but he had only ever had one friend that he could speak to like that, and that friend lived in the country. Since Felix lived in the city almost year-round, he hadn’t seen that friend in a couple of years.
Which was all to explain why he had traversed this particular street every day since the ball. It would be so easy to simply call on the young lady, but she was certain to be surrounded by her sisters and her mother. From what he had gathered, she was extremely unlikely to speak of anything but the most mundane things in her family’s presence. It was certain to be a disappointment.
As Felix approached the door to Derby House, he felt tension rising within him. Would today be the day he finally took the risk? Apparently not, was the answer as he simply passed the door.
