Eventually, Elizabeth returned, and ten minutes later the guests took their leave. Elizabeth took her seat in the window once again, apparently preparing to return to her work onLydia’s reticule. Mama also returned to her work. Jane took the opportunity to escape to her room.
It was cold in there, since fires were only lit in the bedrooms at night. Because of that, she knew she could not stay for long, but she desperately needed a few minutes to herself.
Once she was certain she was alone and would remain so, Jane let the tears she had been holding back spring forth. Within moments, she was sobbing into her pillow, oblivious to the world around her.
~~~~~
As Darcy rode away from Longbourn in his carriage, he began to wonder if he had made a mistake even attempting to win Miss Elizabeth’s affection. He hadn’t expected her to simply fall at his feet when he declared his intentions, but he also hadn’t expected her to literally run away.
Well, he was here now, and there was no point in giving up just because he hadn’t been immediately successful.
The other people in the carriage were all quiet, so Darcy used the time to think about what Mr. Bennet had said to him, that Miss Elizabeth would not submit to anyone who didn’t respect her. Furthermore, he had said that Darcy didn’t respect anyone he deemed lower than himself.
He thought about his position in life. There weren’t many people that were of his status or higher, but most of the people he associated with were. Bingley and Masters were the notable exceptions. Since neither of them had any land, they did not truly have any real status among the gentry despite their wealth.
Darcy knew that his friends’ lack of land made little difference to him. What mattered was having a similar standard of living and having mutual respect.
Because of this, and because of the very great respect he had for the many servants and tenants that worked at Pemberley, he could not agree with Mr. Bennet’s assessment that he did not respect anyone lower than him.
He pondered the problem, trying to define exactly what kind of person he respected. He realized that the issue wasn’t respect but rather whether he was willing to associate with them. He had an enormous amount of respect for his housekeeper, Mrs. Reynolds, but he would not be particularly pleased if he was forced to dine with her in company.
He also tried to define what kind of person he was comfortable with in social situations. Again, he realized that it had little to do with status the way Mr. Bennet had insinuated. Rather, it had to do with lifestyle. Darcy felt most comfortable with those who had similar lifestyles and similar experiences to himself. Naturally, this meant that he gravitated toward wealthier people.
This explained why he had behaved the way he did in this neighborhood where no one was nearly as well off as he was. Only a couple of the gentlemen were even half as wealthy as Bingley. Darcy’s assumption that he had nothing in common with those around him had led him to shun everyone without even bothering to find out if he was wrong.
If he was ever to win Miss Elizabeth, he would have to correct that. Given what her father had said about her, she would be unlikely to listen to anything he had to say until she had seen for herself that he was a better man than she thought him.
Once he realized this, he banged on the roof to stop the carriage. He then gave directions to the driver to make his way to Lucas Lodge. The others in the carriage looked at him curiously, silently asking for an explanation, but he gave none. He simply had a short errand to run. Since he only had a month, there was no time to be lost.
~~~~~
When Elizabeth walked into the Gouldings’ drawing room that evening for a dinner party, she was shocked and dismayed to see Mr. Darcy already there. He had only arrived in the neighborhood yesterday. How could he already have an invitation to a party that was planned two weeks ago?
He met her gaze immediately, and she half expected him to come over to her. He did not. Instead, he continued to chat with Mr. Goulding. Elizabeth watched him curiously for a minute or more. His face was more relaxed than she was used to seeing, and it was clear that he was interested in the subject being discussed.
Was this Mr. Darcy, the man who had ignored everyone, who had thought himself better than all the world? Her mind went back to his chat with her mother. There, too, he had been pleasant and open, listening attentively and respectfully, even though Mama tended to rattle away, occasionally repeating herself unthinkingly.
Elizabeth had become used to the taciturn, proud, unfeeling Mr. Darcy, so much so that she could usually ignore him. Now, however, his changing attitudes and behavior were throwing her off and drawing her unwilling attention. Eventually, she pulled her attention away from the infuriating man and turned to the rest of the room.
Charlotte was not there since the Lucases were not invited to this dinner, but there were a couple of other young ladies that Elizabeth was familiar with. She went over to them and began chatting, trying her best to maintain her cheerfulness in the face of confusion.
At dinner, Elizabeth was relieved to find that she was not seated anywhere close to Mr. Darcy. She did notice, however, that he was pleasantly conversing with Mrs. Goulding on one side and Miss Smith on the other.
After dinner, it continued. Despite his confession of love that afternoon, he still did not seek her out. Rather, he spoke with just about everyone else in the room.
She became quite anxious wondering when he would speak with her. She even began to doubt her own memory of their conversation. Perhaps she had misinterpreted what he said. Perhaps she was not the one he was in love with after all.
Towards the end of the evening, he finally came over to her. “Have you enjoyed your evening, Miss Elizabeth?” he asked.
Elizabeth looked up at him. She knew the confusion she felt was written clearly on her face. “You confuse me, Mr. Darcy,” she said.
He chuckled. The warmth she had seen in his eyes that afternoon returned. “I am not surprised,” he said. “I imagine that from your perspective I went to London a few days ago and returned as a completely different man. It isn’t an inaccurate picture to be honest. I have changed a great deal in the last few days.”
“And are these changes temporary or permanent?” she asked.
“I believe they are permanent,” he said. “What has changed is my view of myself and others. I have a completely differentunderstanding of the world around me. That is not something that is typically transient. Such soul-shaking realizations are the greatest force for change someone can experience.”
“So you aren’t behaving differently simply to attract the attention of some lady you fancy?” she asked, deliberately leaving her question vague. She still did not truly believe he even liked her.
