Elizabeth sighed, though it was almost a groan. “Yes, that,” she said. “I believe you, to a degree, but I have no idea what you expect from me when you say such things. Your expression does not match your words, since even now you maintain anearly expressionless, serious face. The whole situation has me so confused that I do not know up from down.”
“I do apologize for any confusion I might cause,” said Mr. Darcy. “If I allowed my expression to reflect the depth of my feelings, I believe you would never come near me. I have a very distinct memory of you practically running away the first time I hinted at it.”
“Try it,” said Elizabeth. “Just once. Let me see for myself if what you truly feel scares me away.”
By then, they were in the back garden, out of sight of any casual viewer. Mr. Darcy stopped and turned towards Elizabeth. So, she faced him as well.
His expression was warm and caring, but there was fire in his eyes as well. He said, “I love you, Elizabeth, and I don’t care who knows it. Additionally, I would be overwhelmingly joyful and grateful if I could win your good opinion enough that you would agree to become my wife.”
For the first time, Elizabeth felt in her bones that Mr. Darcy loved her. He had said it more than once in the last week, but it was always in passing, almost as if the feeling meant little to him. She could not tell from his words alone why he was pursuing her so adamantly.
Now, however, it was clear. He did love her, deeply and passionately.
She watched him carefully as he gradually got his feelings back under control. The fire in his eyes faded to a more familiar mild warmth, and the slight smile that was on his lips slowly straightened back into the firm line that was usually there.
“Thank you, Mr. Darcy,” said Elizabeth. “I still do not know how to respond to you, but at the very least, I believe I understand you better.”
They stared at each other for several more moments until Elizabeth cleared her throat and said, “Well, shall we walk again?”
“Of course,” he answered. Then he offered her his arm. Hesitantly, Elizabeth took it. His arm was warm and strong beneath her hand, and she was oddly comforted by the contact.
“With that settled, we need to discuss what I was trying to say before this entire conversation got out of hand,” said Elizabeth. “My mother.”
“Ah, yes,” said Mr. Darcy. “You were concerned that she was beginning to notice my attentions to you.”
“Exactly,” said Elizabeth. “You mentioned that you would not mind if she treated you as she did Mr. Bingley, and I do appreciate such forbearance, but the problem goes deeper than that. You see, if she knows that you are serious about me and I then eventually decide against you, she will never let me hear the end of it, and I do mean never. Every day, for the rest of my life, Mama will berate me for allowing the one man who could have provided security to my whole family slip from my grasp.
“I know this to be the case, because she has done exactly that when I refused Mr. Collins’ proposal the day after the Netherfield ball. She has also bemoaned the loss of Mr. Bingley far more than Jane did, despite the fact that it was Jane who was in love with him, not Mama.”
Mr. Darcy did not immediately respond, and the two of them walked in silence for a time. Elizabeth glanced at his face, and he appeared to be deep in thought. She could not fathom, however, what he might be thinking.
Eventually, he spoke, “I happen to know that no matter how you respond to me, your mother, your sisters, and you will betaken care of,” he said. “Do you think that, if your mother knew this, she would be more lenient with you?”
“What do you mean?” asked Elizabeth. “How could you possibly know such a thing?”
“I cannot answer that,” he answered. “All I can say is that it is true. Your father is aware of this as well, though he cannot tell you why either.”
Elizabeth was overcome with curiosity, but with an effort she set it aside. Since it appeared as though he could not answer her, there was no point in pursuing the subject.
“If it was true, it might calm her somewhat,” said Elizabeth, “but I am uncertain whether she would believe you, especially since you can’t give any details.”
“If your father and I spoke with her together, asking her to give you free choice in this matter, would that be enough? Would you then be willing to allow me to continue to call on you?”
Elizabeth stopped walking and looked up into Mr. Darcy’s face. “I don’t understand. Why is this so important to you that I be free to choose? I would assume that if I refused you, you would then care very little what happens to me afterward.”
“You misunderstand the nature of my feelings for you, Miss Elizabeth,” said Mr. Darcy. Again, the warmth surfaced in his eyes. “I very much wish to marry you, but it is not so that I can possess you. Rather, it is so that I can have the power to make you happy and enjoy your company. If you do not come to me willingly, you will not be happy with me, which is counter to my desires. Therefore, I would not wish you coerced in any way.”
For the first time since Mr. Darcy returned to Hertfordshire, Elizabeth truly felt that it could be possible for her to fall in love with this man. No one, not even her father, truly wished for her to choose her own life’s path. The fact that he was so adamant onthis point, implied that he would likely allow her a great deal of freedom and trust within their marriage, should she accept him.
The idea was entirely pleasing.
“I think that if both you and my father spoke with my mother, it might be enough to keep her from trying to force us together,” she said hesitantly. “It will not prevent her from gossiping or making assumptions about us, though.”
“Is that enough? May I continue to call on you?”
“You may,” said Elizabeth.
As they walked back toward the house, Elizabeth genuinely looked forward to the next few days. Perhaps, Mr. Darcy was far better than she had ever guessed.
