“Even that much could be a significant boon,” said Masters. “It could be used to purchase a house upfront, thereby reducing your ongoing expenses, or it could be used to purchase several smaller homes which you could then rent out. Such investments are often more lucrative than simply investing in the funds, although they require a bit more oversight.”
“Even so, it is not enough,” said Richard. “We would need a total income of at least a thousand pounds.”
“Why so much?” asked Masters. “I did not think Miss Lucas to be the kind of lady who would demand luxury.”
“She does not,” said Richard. “However, if our income is any less, there will not be money enough to raise our children properly, to provide for their education or to give them the ability to be independent when they grow up. Charlotte would be reduced to the role of both governess and housekeeper, wearing herself out to care for them.”
“And what would you be doing in such a situation?” asked Masters. “Would you continue to live the way you have, eating what you wish, wearing what you wish, gambling as you wish, while putting all the burden of sacrifice and toil on your wife’s shoulders? If so, then I agree that you should not marry her.”
This sharp reply struck Richard squarely in the chest. His heart clenched at the picture Masters had painted. Would he truly behave in such a way to the woman he adored with all his soul? On the other hand, doing anything else would require acomplete rearrangement of everything he knew. He would have to learn a completely different way of living.
Intellectually, he knew plenty of gentlemen who lived quite happily on less than half his income. He knew plenty of families kept themselves well-fed, well-dressed, and well-educated on the same income he currently possessed. He just did not know how they did it.
“I know no other way,” said Richard.
“Everyone has some area of life where they lack knowledge and experience,” said Masters. “The thing about that, however, is that both are usually fairly easy to come by if one is willing to put in the effort. The hard part is identifying what it is you need to learn. Since you have now done that, all that is left is to actually learn it. That is assuming that you wish to.”
“So this is what you meant when you said I was not seeing all the steps on my path,” said Richard. “If marrying Miss Lucas is what I want to do and what I should do, then I need to learn how to live in such a way as to make that possible.”
“That is not up to me to decide or even confirm,” said Masters. “I will only say that it seems reasonable.”
“Thank you, Masters,” said Richard. “I now know what I need to do.”
So saying, he left the room and headed for the stables.
~~~~~
Charlotte was sitting in the drawing room, pretending to work on her sewing. Her sister, Maria, was next to her, working on adding a new ribbon to her favorite gown and chattering away as though the last twenty-four hours hadn’t completely flipped Charlotte’s life upside down.
She wished the cook needed her help for dinner. She wished the maid needed help with her work. She wished the pigs had escaped their pen and got into the garden which was now dead and empty for the winter. In short, she wished there were some task, big or small, that she could do that would distract her from her own thoughts.
But there was nothing.
Instead, her mind kept going back to the moment when Mr. Collins took his leave this morning. He had always been an odd mixture of arrogance and humility, but this morning he proved he could just as easily mix other opposing emotions. He had seemed both resentful and apologetic.
Charlotte believed that beneath it all, Mr. Collins was at heart a good man. He genuinely wished to be a good clergyman, and his greatest joy was assisting others, though he was not always as adept at doing so as he liked to think. Because of this, she could well believe that he genuinely regretted being part of Mr. Wickham’s scheme.
He would not say, nor would anyone else, who the lady was who had been attacked. Nor would he say why that could possibly have anything to do with his jealousy. For that Charlotte was grateful. She wished she knew who to pity, but she was quite certain that, whoever the lady was, she was quite happy to have it all covered up.
Despite his apologies, he could not but look upon Charlotte resentfully, as if she were the cause of his downfall. Perhaps she was. Perhaps he was right to resent her. She had promised to marry him, and while they had not yet exchanged the marriage vows, it was still wrong of her to allow another man to claim her attention and even her affection.
Even so, Charlotte was glad to see him go. She now knew that she could never have been happy married to such a man. She was better off growing old in her father’s house and then in her brother’s house. She could be useful by doing so, and that was all she had ever really expected out of life.
Her reverie was interrupted by the maid announcing that Colonel Fitzwilliam had arrived.
Charlotte’s head had never moved more swiftly than when she jerked her gaze to the doorway to see him. His face was serious, and he seemed a bit nervous.
She dared not hope, but she could not silence the tiny voice in her ear that whispered that perhaps he was here to profess his feelings for her. Perhaps, perhaps he might just be here to propose to her now that she was no longer engaged.
When their eyes met, his nervousness seemed to fade a little, and he stood up just a tiny bit straighter. “Miss Lucas, I wonder if I might have a private word with you. Perhaps a walk in the garden would be pleasant.”
“Of course,” she said, ignoring Maria’s curious gaze. “Let me fetch my cloak.”
As she passed him in the doorway, he took that moment to brush her hand with his fingers. The warmth that filled her from that little touch assured her that, though she did not know what the future held, his affection for her was unchanged.
Within moments, Charlotte had put on her cloak, and she headed outside with Colonel Fitzwilliam.
As they began strolling, she said, “What did you wish to discuss, Colonel?”
