Miss Bennet curtseyed deeply and said, “Honestly,my Lord, it is a pleasure to meet you.”
With her emphasis on honestly, he knew she was referring to their chats from two years ago. He also knew she was chiding him for lying to her about who he was.
Before he could speak, she seemed to notice his black armband. “Are you in mourning?” she asked.
“Yes,” he answered. “For my wife.”
“Your…wife? Were you married long?”
“Almost eight years.”
John felt a stab of guilt as he watched her realize that, not only had he lied about who he was, but he had lied with his actions about the fact that he was married.
Her eyes grew wide in surprise, and as he watched her expression, he noticed a deep pain surface from within them.
“My condolences,” she said eventually.
“Thank you,” he said. “Miss Bennet, I wonder if I might have your next available dance.”
She opened her mouth to respond. John was nearly certain that she would refuse him. Then she glanced at Darcy and sighed slightly in seeming defeat. “I would be honored, my Lord,” she said in a flat emotionless voice. She held out her dance card for him to sign.
He signed for her second dance just as Georgiana came up to the group. “Ah, I see you have met my cousin,” said Georgiana to Miss Bennet.
“Yes, though not for the first time,” said Miss Bennet. “We met a few times when he visited Hertfordshire a couple of years ago.”
“I was unaware you had ever been there,” said Georgiana.
“It was just after my father died,” explained John. “I felt the need of some country air and solitude. Unfortunately for the inhabitants of that neighborhood, I chose to use a pseudonym while I was there in order to achieve said solitude.”
He watched for Miss Bennet’s response to his explanation even though he was ostensibly speaking to Georgiana, but he could not tell if she understood why he had done what he did. The truth was that, no matter what name he used, he had been married when he kissed her. That was the lie that hurt her the most. He was certain of that.
“Well, I certainly hope you did not feel importuned by the ladies of the neighborhood while you were seeking solitude, my Lord,” said Miss Bennet.
“I never felt importuned,” he said fervently. “Only very, very welcome.”
Miss Bennet searched his face in the same way she had done many times in Hertfordshire, seeking he knew not what. He was relieved when she smiled slightly and said, “I am glad.”
Chapter 15
Mary could not believe she was dancing with Mr. Porter. Not only had she promised herself that she would never dance in public with him, but she had honestly believed she would never even see him again.
What was even worse was that he wasn’t Mr. Porter after all. He was Mr. Darcy’s cousin, The Earl of Matlock.
Mary wished with all her heart she could run away from this situation. Despite what others believed, she had not truly changed at all in the past two years. She had only learned to let out an acceptable amount of emotion instead of hiding it all. The control it took to do so, however, was enormous, making her exhausted at the end of any social engagement.
Faced with a reunion with the man she had once loved above all men, she did not feel confident in the least that she would be able to maintain her carefully curated façade.
As they began to dance, he said, “I have missed you a great deal, Miss Bennet.”
Despite all her intentions of keeping her heart locked away from him, Mary was warmed by his words. However, she could not allow his deception to go unremarked. “You had the company of yourwife, my Lord. You had no right to be missing any lady.”
“If that lady was a dear friend, I believe it would be entirely appropriate to miss her,” said Lord Matlock.
Mary kept her smile in place but only just. “You certainly treat your friends with a great deal more familiarity than I would, my Lord. On the other hand, I can freely admit that I never considered you a friend.”
The words may have sounded harsh, but they were true nonetheless. Not at any point in the time she knew him did she consider him a friend. He was always the man she loved dearly and the man who was destined to break her heart.
Lord Matlock looked disappointed for a few moments as though he felt the sting of rejection from her words. However, his features gradually shifted to a more contemplative expression as he seemed to understand the meaning of her words.
