He reached across the carriage and patted her hand. “You are a good girl,” he said. “You do not have to spend your money on anyone, and here you are, perfectly willing to spend a great deal just to make your family happy.”
“I am only being selfish, Papa,” she said. “If I kept it all to myself, I would just be lonely. By spending it on shopping and entertainment for our whole family, I am simply purchasing that much more joy for myself.”
“As I said, you are a good girl.”
Chapter 6
September 27, 1811
Dearest Lizzy,
There is some rather exciting news floating around the neighborhood. I expect Mama will write and tell you about it, but I am hoping you will get my letter first, so that I can have the cachet of being the first you hear it from.
Netherfield has been let, and the new owner is a young man of large fortune. He was spotted in a chaise and four looking at the place a week ago, but it is now a settled thing that he has taken ownership for the next year. Mama is beside herself with excitement, not because she is looking forward to getting to know a new neighbor, but rather because she expects that he will likely fall in love with one of us and marry us.
While I am unwilling to place such expectations on a complete stranger, I do think it will be pleasant to have someone new in our confined little community, especially if he brings any family members with him. No one knows much about the man other than that he seems to be fairly wealthy. I have heard someone say that he is relatively young, but I am uncertain as to the veracity of that rumor.
…
That is all my news. We all miss you, though I am certain you and Papa are having a delightful time with the Gardiners. I look forward to the day you return home.
Love,
Jane
~~~~~
Mary sat in the front parlor with Jane as each of them worked on their sewing. Mary had recently had a new gown made, and she was adding some decorative stitching to the sleeves and the ribbon at the waist. She hoped to have it ready by the assembly a week from now.
Mama was visiting Mrs. Phillips, her sister who lived in Meryton, and Kitty and Lydia had gone with her, hoping to find some amusement in town. It was peaceful and quiet, and it unfortunately gave Mary space to think.
Her thoughts were confusing, to say the least.
It had been three weeks since Alan Goulding had returned from London, and she had seen him five times in addition to the meeting at his mother’s garden party. Three of those times were at other parties in the neighborhood. Since the Bennets and the Gouldings were the two wealthiest households in the neighborhood, they tended to be invited to many of the same entertainments.
The other two times she had seen him were here in this parlor. He had accompanied his mother when she called on Mama, though Mary could not imagine why he would wish to do such a thing. No other young man in the neighborhood ever did, not even John Lucas, whose mother was Mama’s best friend and whose sister was close friends with both Jane and Elizabeth.
Nevertheless, he had called here, and while his mother was busy chatting away with Mama and Jane, Alan had taken it in his head to sit next to Mary in an attempt to converse with her.
It made no sense. After the tongue-lashing she had given him at his mother’s party, why would he wish to seek her out and speak with her? He must know how much she hated him.
Except she didn’t hate him, not truly.
He had hurt her, yes. A great many times, in fact. But the reason his comments had hurt so much in the first place was because Alan Goulding had always held a special place in Mary’s heart.
He was very handsome and entirely too attractive, but that was not the only thing that drew her to him. He had a way with people, an easy and friendly manner that Mary could never achieve. She didn’t understand people the way he did. Her words always came out stilted and forceful, frequently ending a conversation rather than prolonging it the way his words did.
Something within her felt drawn to him with an ineffable impression that he would complete her somehow, that he could fill in the gaps in her personality just as she could fill in the gaps in his by being the serious counterpoint to his occasionally frivolous outlook.
What confused her this morning was that she felt herself relenting, letting go of her hard feelings for the man. She wanted to excuse his former behavior as youthful high spirits or the awkwardness of one’s younger years. Perhaps, just as she had experienced a great deal of awkwardness during those transitional years, he had done so as well. Perhaps, just perhaps, his awkwardness had been expressed as teasing.
She was reluctant to completely forgive him, however, simply because she did not wish to make herself open to painfrom him again. She was certain that if he criticized her now, when she was fully formed and he was clearly grown up, she would never recover from it.
“Mary, are you well?”
It was only when Mary heard Jane’s query that she realized her hands were no longer moving, that they likely hadn’t moved in some time.
“I am well. Thank you for your concern.” Mary picked her sewing back up and resumed her work.
