Once he was settled, he looked at her and chuckled at her expression. “There is no need for such a response, Miss Bennet,” he said. “I am just as human as you.”
She felt her face shift into a more speculative expression. “I suppose you are,” she said.
They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes. The entire experience was a revelation.
Elizabeth was used to constant chatter. Anytime, she was in company with anyone, be it her sisters, her mother, her friends, or her neighbors, someone was saying something. The only time she had ever sat in silence was occasionally when she was with either Jane or Mary, and having only one of them for company was exceedingly rare.
She had never in her life sat in such companionable silence with a gentleman before. It wasn’t like the time they were on the balcony together. That time, they were each attempting to enjoy their own solitude, trying but failing to ignore the other’s presence.
This time, they were sitting together, both very much in each other’s company, but still resting from the toils of too much society.
Elizabeth never knew that a gentleman’s company could be any such thing. When in company with the opposite sex, she had always been on her best behavior, smiling politely, engaging in pointless chatter, exercising her wit, and using her best manners.
This was the exact opposite. No wittiness was needed, and no formal manners were welcome here.
After a minute or two, Elizabeth heard,I suppose we will need to return to the drawing room soon. I am not particularly looking forward to it, but it would not do to compromise Miss Elizabeth’s reputation.
The thought raised a question in Elizabeth’s mind. Without considering whether she should, she said, “I wonder, Mr. Darcy, why you put yourself out to participate in our little society here. It is clear that you do not enjoy it.”
Mr. Darcy did not respond immediately. Instead, he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He was far enough forward that Elizabeth could no longer see most of his face.
It took several moments longer, but eventually, he said, “I have heard that you recently inherited a large fortune, which has drawn a great deal of attention from your neighbors. It also seems to be drawing attention from more unwanted quarters. Is that correct?”
She was a bit annoyed that he seemed to have ignored her question, but she said, “It is. While I can understand their behavior, understanding doesn’t make it any easier to bear.”
“I assume that it is fatigue from such maneuvering that has caused you to seek solitude both tonight and at the assembly,” he said.
“That is correct,” said Elizabeth. “Normally, I quite enjoy spending time at such parties, and I am particularly fond of dancing, but such circumstances as I find myself in have quite taken away much of my enjoyment.”
“Miss Bennet,” he said, “you have only had to suffer such treatment for a week or two, whereas I have been treated in such a manner for nearly ten years.”
Elizabeth felt her eyes widen as understanding poured over her.
He continued. “Though my fortune is greater than that of many noblemen, I have no title of my own nor any pretention of any title. That means that among those who are of equal status with me, I am by far one of the wealthiest. The ladies who seek my company are always well aware of this.
“For many years, I behaved myself, exercising politeness and gallantry, giving ladies the benefit of the doubt, but being treated as little more than an object by every female of my class has left its mark.”
He paused and Elizabeth thought she should say something, express her sympathy or understanding, but she could not think of any words before he began speaking again.
“All of this is made worse by the fact that I do not like crowds or chaos. I am also particularly sensitive to shrill or loud voices. So, you are correct that I do not enjoy being here, but that is not because I hold anything against you or your neighbors. In fact, it has been quite refreshing to be free of the unsolicited attention of young ladies.”
Except Miss Bingley.
The last bit was definitely one of his thoughts rather than spoken aloud, but it made Elizabeth wonder what the true status was between the two of them. She could not ask such a thing, however.
Instead, she said, “That certainly explains why you dislike company so much, and I can understand and even sympathize somewhat. However, it does nothing to explain why you come among us despite your discomfort. Wouldn’t it be more pleasant to spend the evening at Netherfield with a book?”
She realized her words could be taken to mean that she wished he would stay home. She quickly added, “That is not to say that you are unwelcome. I only ask, because I am curious what could motivate you to deliberately place yourself in an uncomfortable situation.”
Because if I stayed behind, Miss Bingley would offer to keep me company.
Out loud, he said, “One can only spend so many hours alone before one grows too morose for comfort. While this may not be my favorite activity, it is somewhat better than being completely alone.”
Elizabeth did not know how to respond to such a statement. Between the discomfort he described and his reasons for putting up with it, he had painted a picture of such a lonely life that she would not have been able to bear it.
Something of her thoughts must have shown on her face, however, for Mr. Darcy said, “There is no need to look so sad on my account. My days are usually quite interesting, and not all my evenings are boring. Most evenings so far at Netherfield, we have all played cards together. While it is not my favorite pastime, it certainly keeps the demon of boredom at bay.”
“I imagine life in London is not quite so boring,” said Elizabeth, attempting to change the subject. He was obviously uncomfortable talking about his time at Netherfield, and Elizabeth began to wonder if Miss Bingley was a bigger problem for him than he let on.
