“I want to marry you,” he said firmly and without hesitation.
Mary felt her jaw drop, and her head swiveled to stare at him, her eyes wide in surprise. He met her gaze with the most steady, gentle expression she had ever seen on his face.
“Mary, you have always been my heart,” he said, “but until now I have not been in a position to do anything about it. We were both too young. The feelings I have for you, have always had for you, are too strong and too steady to trifle with. Before I could approach you and declare my feelings, I had to be certain I was prepared to follow through. I needed to be the kind of man you would want to marry and who could make you happy.”
“I don’t know what to say,” said Mary, simply to fill the silence that gradually became too heavy to bear. “You may have been thinking about this for weeks, but I have not even contemplated such a thing. Not ever. Even in my wildest hopes, I only imagined spending time with you that was not overshadowed by mixed messages.”
“I am well aware, Mary,” said Alan. “Take your time and think about it. In the meantime, I have a great deal of work to do to convince you that I can be a steady and positive presence in your life. Even if it takes years, I will be here for you until the day you are no longer influenced by my past stupidity.”
“I don’t think it will take years,” said Mary. The words tumbled from her mouth without her even considering the consequence of uttering them.
Alan pulled the carriage over to the side of the road and stopped it. He turned to her, his eyes ablaze with excitement. Mary was captured by it. Such an expression was her favorite among his many, varied expressions.
“Does that mean that you already return my feelings?” he asked.
“I don’t know, for you have not expressed your feelings clearly,” she said. “However, you have said enough that I feel it only right to tell you that, just as you have always been drawn to me, I have felt the same toward you. I cannot say more than that, for I have never dared to dream beyond that.”
With a smile that was a beguiling mixture of excitement and gentle affection, Alan took Mary’s hand in his own and brought it to his lips. Though she could not feel his lips through the gloves that kept her hands warm, the mere sight of him kissing her hand caused her to feel far warmer than she had been.
“Thank you, Mary,” he said. “If you don’t mind, I would like to resume calling on you, though not necessarily in the presence of my mother. What say you?”
Mary hesitated. Of course, she wanted to agree, but she did not know how much enthusiasm to show. She stared at his happy expression, and she thought about his clear declaration that he wished to marry her. If marriage was the goal, then it was imperative that she be as honest as possible.
She smiled and said, “I would like that very much.”
She would not have believed that Alan’s face could be any happier, but that is exactly what happened. He practically shone with the intensity of his joy. He leaned forward and kissed her quickly on the cheek, just the tiniest flutter of a kiss. Before he pulled away, he whispered in her ear, “Thank you, Mary.”
Alan soon set the carriage in motion once again while Mary attempted to recover her equanimity. Once she could speak, they chatted on more mundane topics. Her heart was too full to speak further of feelings.
Chapter 14
“A note was delivered for you, Miss Bennet,” said Mrs. Hill. Elizabeth watched as the elegantly folded hot-pressed paper was handed to her older sister.
Jane read the note, her expression growing increasingly joyful as she did. “It is from Caroline,” she said.
Caroline Bingley was Mr. Bingley’s younger sister and the bane of Mr. Darcy’s residence at Netherfield…as far as Elizabeth could make out from the brief snatches of thought she had caught from the gentleman.
Miss Bingley wasn’t particularly friendly to the neighborhood as a whole, but she had made some overtures of friendship to Jane. She had even extended the hand of friendship to Elizabeth at first, but that attention had waned in the last few weeks. Elizabeth could not regret the loss. Her only regret was that she could not make Jane understand that Miss Bingley was simply not as kind as Jane believed.
Jane read the note aloud.
November 12, 1811
My Dear Friend,
Do say you will dine with Louisa and me this evening. The gentlemen of the household will be joining the officers for dinner tonight, and my sister and I thought it a perfectopportunity to enjoy your company for the evening. If left to our own devices, surely we would be arguing by the end of the night. We desperately need your gentle influence to avoid such an unpleasant outcome.
With Affection,
Caroline Bingley
“Papa, may I have the carriage?” Jane asked immediately upon completing her reading of the note.
Papa opened his mouth to respond, but Mama spoke first. “Of course not!” she cried. “Have you seen the weather? You must go on horseback, for it is certain to rain before the day is over. That way, you will be invited to stay the night. Besides, I am certain your father needs the horses in the field today.”
Jane looked pleadingly at Elizabeth, but Elizabeth chose not to interfere. She was sure that even if it did rain, Mrs. Hurst would simply send Jane home in her carriage. Surely the gentlemen weren’t using both the Bingleys’ and the Hursts’ carriages for just the three of them.
Finding no help there, Jane said, “Papa?”
