He chuckled, and the sound sent shivers down Mary’s spine. She wished she could see his face, but it was hidden in the shadows just as hers was. Then, she berated herself for even thinking such a thing. She did not need to see his smile or hislaugh. Despite how handsome he looked when he was cheerful, his seeming good cheer had too often been used as a weapon to hurt her in the past.
“I suppose I was only consulting my own wishes,” he said.
“Your wishes? You wished to talk to an outcast?” she asked.
“You are not an outcast,” he said heatedly. “You have been circulating among my mother’s guests for two hours or more.”
Tired of waiting for him to come to the point, a point which was certain to be painful, as talking to him had always been in the past, Mary turned to him and said, “What is it that you want? Are you here to denigrate my manners? Or perhaps you wish to criticize my hair or my dress or my expression or my complexion? Whatever it is, please just say it so that we can end this farce of a conversation.”
She could not see all the details of his expression, but she could tell that his eyes widened quite a bit. “Why would I say any such thing?” he asked, sounding genuinely confused at her outburst.
“Why wouldn’t you?” asked Mary. “For years, the only thing I heard from you was teasing and insults. Why would it be any different now?”
“I…I did not mean any of it,” he said lamely. “I’m so sorry, Mary.”
“If you did not mean it, why did you say it?” she asked. “This is a case where a single apology simply isn’t enough. Years of weekly rejection, teasing, and insults heaped my way from you and your friend, John. All of it during a time of my life when I was awkward and growing, trying to learn who I was. That slate cannot be wiped clean with a simple ‘I’m so sorry.’”
“What would you have me do?” asked Alan. There was a note of pain and perhaps desperation in his voice. “How can I make it up to you? How can I make it right?”
“You can’t,” she said. “You can apologize until the horses return to the stable of their own free will, but it will never change the past. You can repent before God above, but it will not take away the consequences of your actions.”
He sighed and turned slightly away from her so that they were standing side by side, both looking out over the party.
“You are right, Mary,” he said. “You have always been right when it mattered. I am a scoundrel, a cad, and as far as I know I always have been. I can’t change that, but I am trying to do better. I am trying with all my might to become the kind of man you can respect. I am sorry to have taken so much of your time this evening. I will leave you to enjoy the party as you see fit. Good night, Mary.”
With that he walked away. For some reason, though she knew every word she had said was true, though she knew she could have done nothing else under the circumstances, Mary felt hollow and guilty as she watched him retreat into the crowd.
Chapter 4
Elizabeth was so pleased to see Mary interacting more than ever with their neighbors at the Gouldings’ garden party. If her wish made Mary more accepted outside their family, Elizabeth considered it to be a wish well-spent.
Unfortunately, the change didn’t last. About two hours into the party, Mary retreated to the sidelines as she had always done in the past. Elizabeth hoped that it was simply because she was tired of company and not because she felt unworthy, but Elizabeth was unable to check on her sister. Every time she attempted to make her way to Mary’s side, someone stopped her to chat or to ask a question.
The next morning, Elizabeth had every intention of asking Mary about it after breakfast, but before she could, Mary retreated to the second drawing room, which served as a music room most days, to practice piano. With a sigh, Elizabeth settled into the parlor with her other sisters and her mother.
Jane and Elizabeth were working on handicrafts. Kitty and Lydia were at a table in the corner sifting through piles of scraps and decorations to discover the few treasures that might be suitable for re-trimming an old bonnet.
An hour after breakfast, there was a ring at the bell. Since it was prime visiting hours, Elizabeth assumed it was one of Mama’s friends come to call, but no one was shown into theparlor. After a minute or two, she shrugged and went back to her work. It must have been someone for Papa.
Another quarter of an hour passed, and Lady Lucas called along with her two daughters, Charlotte and Maria. With company to discuss last night’s party with, Elizabeth forgot to be curious about their earlier visitor.
Elizabeth had just settled into a lengthy discussion of Mrs. Goulding’s decoration and lighting choices when Mrs. Hill, the housekeeper, came in. “Miss Elizabeth, your father would like to see you in his study,” she said.
“Please, excuse me,” Elizabeth said to their guests as she rose and made her way to the door.
Her father’s study was Elizabeth’s favorite room in the house, though she was seldom welcome there. It had the most delightful scent that was a combination of leather, paper, dust, and beeswax candles.
None of that mattered in this case, however, for she was not given time to enjoy it. Sitting in the chair across from Papa was a complete stranger. He was dressed well but his style resembled that of a tradesman more than a gentleman.
“Elizabeth, this is Mr. Porter,” said her father. “He is a solicitor from a large firm in London, and he has brought the most extraordinary news.”
“And what is this news?” asked Elizabeth.
With a great deal of humor in his eyes, Papa said, “Apparently, you are an heiress.”
Elizabeth’s mind halted completely. “How is that even possible?” she said. “Even if we somehow had wealthy relations we didn’t know, the inheritance would either be split among us or would go to Jane as the eldest.”
“Mrs. Blythe was a rather unusual lady,” said Mr. Porter. “She was resentful of being a younger daughter and not given much in the way of inheritance or support, a mere thousand pounds, while her older sister received everything their father had to give. As soon as she turned twenty-one, she took what money she could, including her jewelry, and moved out of her parents’ home. She invested, and her investments went well. Within twenty years, she had accumulated ten thousand pounds, and by the time she died at age ninety-one, she was quite wealthy, indeed.”
