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“Before. We were a steady thing before. Now—we’re dating. ” Going out implied serious feelings and the only thing I felt seriously about right now was I didn’t want him in my room, specifically on my bed. With me. “What happened to Sunday morning basketball with Stephen and the guys?” Luke had had the same Sunday morning ritual since he was eight.
“I’m meeting them in a half hour. I know you’re going dress shopping today and I wanted to talk to you before you went. ” He placed his hand over mine and rubbed his thumb over my skin. “Look, I’m going to say it again since when I said it last night you didn’t say anything back. I’m sorry. Really, Echo, I am. I didn’t make the Aires connection until after the movie, I swear. ”
“It’s fine. ” Really—we’re even. You took me to a crappy movie. I left and almost kissed a really hot guy. A guy who made my toes curl and shared his food. A guy I should really stop obsessing over because God knows he’s not thinking about me.
Luke diverted his eyes to the mural of the sea on my wall. “I can’t believe you keep that shit. After what your mom did to you. ”
I placed a hand over my stomach as it twisted. “She’s still my mom. ”
My heart sank when his eyes widened to the are-you-nuts look. People had given my mother that look plenty of times. Being the recipient of it for the first time stunk. “Is that all?”
“No. You know I think you’re smokin’-hot. ” Luke looked hungry and I didn’t think he wanted the rest of the bagel sitting on my bedside table. “And those dresses you used to wear to dances were rebellious. ” He closed his eyes and licked his lips. I’d lay odds he was remembering football homecoming sophomore year. Blue satin dress, short skirt and the backseat of his father’s Lincoln. Even I had fond memories of that night.
He opened his eyes and the hunger faded. “But I was wondering what type of dress you were going to get. You know, so you won’t be embarrassed. ”
Wow. Maybe he should go to the dance with Ashley. “Are you asking if I’m going to expose my scars?”
“Yes. No. Yes. ” Shifting closer to me, Luke massaged my outer thigh. I fought the urge to pull away. “I want you, Echo. You know that. You’re the one putting the brakes on the physical— not me. And to be honest, I’m getting pretty damn tired of it. I’ve got plenty of girls who’d sleep with me. ”
Luke loved a good monologue, but I didn’t. I cut him off. “Then by all means, go sleep with them. You’re not going to guilt me into sex. ”
Thank God, he withdrew his hand from my leg. “This isn’t going like I planned. ”
“Then tell me exactly how you thought this would go. Did you think you could tell me that you’re mortified I’d expose my scars and then I’d fall into your arms and we’d make out?”
He tilted his head. Oh, crap. He really had thought that. “Get out. ”
“Come on, Echo. ” I’d forgotten how fast he could move. He slid up the bed and placed a heavy arm over my waist to keep me from escaping. “I still love you. ”
Funny how the word love directed at me could melt my fury. The muscles in my stomach relaxed, as did the rest of my body. Sensing my give, he slipped both his arms around me and pulled me into his chest.
I used to love lying with Luke, especially when he told me that he loved me. Once upon a time, my world had revolved around him. I missed those days. I missed knowing that someone loved me and lying here, I realized I missed loving someone in return.
“I never stopped loving you. It hurt when you broke up with me. ” He rubbed his hand up and down my back. The touch felt familiar and right now, familiar felt right.
“Then why did you push so hard for sex? Why couldn’t you wait until I was ready?” My heart had also broken when I left him, but I’d been sick of the constant fighting. He’d pushed at me every second—asking, wanting more.
“I don’t know. I wanted to know what it was like to have sex. I thought if I gave you time we’d get back together after a couple of weeks, but then …” Thanks to my friends, he knew what happened next. “Can I ask you a question?”
Not really sure I was up for any more of Luke’s “questions,” my body rose and fell with an exaggerated sigh. “Sure. ” Why not?
“Do you still love me?”
I leaned up on my elbow and forced myself to look at Luke. Really look at him: his blue eyes, black hair and that face I used to love to kiss and caress. “I’ll always love you, but I’m not ‘in’— not yet. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine you’d want me back after I became the freak. ”
His finger skimmed my cheek. “You were never the freak, Echo. Not to me. I spent the past year and a half waiting for you to work out whatever you needed to work out. My entire world fell into place the day you came back to the cafeteria. ”
My eyes widened. Wow. Simply wow.
“I want you ‘in’ again and I think the best way for you to fall is to jump. I think we should pick up where we left off. I think we should have sex. ”
My intake of air made a loud gasping sound. “What?”
“Not now, but soon. I bet if we do, you’ll be ‘in’ again. ”
I knew I must resemble a goldfish in a small bowl, with my mouth opening and closing over and over again. Odd, I’d gotten my wish—I could have sex with someone who loved me— but I’d forgotten to add that I wanted to love him back. “I don’t know. ”
He simply smiled. “Sleep on it. ”
