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“You’re not going to win,” she says. “Some people don’t like you. ”
My spine straightens. “Do I look like I give a fuck what people think of me?”
“You should,” she says. “Because Ryan does. If you cared for him, you’d walk away. ”
Gwen doesn’t wait for me to reply. She tosses that sickening yellow hair over her shoulder and struts away like she’s queen.
Unwanted demons race into my mind, taunting me with her words. I’m only a dare. Ryan doesn’t love me. I’m no good for him.
Maybe she’s right. Maybe she’s wrong.
None of it matters. I’m here for ten days and even if that wasn’t the case, I have a bottle of rain to prove her wrong.
Ryan
CHRIS AND I BYPASS a woman with three screaming children and an old guy guarding the shopping carts. It’s Tuesday evening and at Chris’s insistence, I drove the two of us into Louisville so we could shop at the Super Wal-Mart.
“Do you want to tell me why we’re here?” I ask. We have a Wal-Mart near the freeway back in Groveton, but it’s a much smaller version and thirty years older.
“We know the people who work at our WalMart. More importantly, our parents know the people who work there. ” Chris swings to the right, away from the food section and toward the pharmacy.
“So?”
“You want to keep Beth a secret from your parents, right?”
I cringe when he says it that way, but in the end, it’s the truth. I want Beth to be my girl in every aspect of my life, but I need to pick my battles. I’m going to nail the writing competition, make the decision regarding going pro or going to college, then own up to keeping Beth. “What does that have to do with Wal-Mart?”
Chris cuts into an aisle and waves his hand at the merchandise in front of him. “This. ”
Condoms. Everywhere. I scratch the back of my neck and try to think of anything to say, but there isn’t a statement that could make this moment less uncomfortable.
“You need condoms,” says Chris.
Chris and I engulf the entire cramped aisle in front of the pharmacy. The middle-aged woman with the three kids eyes us as she walks past. “I’m taking it slow with Beth. ”
“Slow wasn’t the position I caught the two of you in yesterday. I’m happy you’re happy, but none of us are going to be happy if little Ryans and Beths pop out of that girl. ”
Point taken. Sex may not be in the plan, but it’s best to be prepared. “What do you use?”
He shrugs. “The normal shit. Are you going to do it? The writing competition?”
“Yeah. ” The normal shit. That narrows it down. I survey the assortment before me.
Colored, ribbed, lubricated, and because this experience isn’t God-awful enough—they have sizes.
“We need you against Eastwick,” Chris says flatly. “We’re a game behind Northside so we need two wins in order to move into first place.
If we don’t win against Eastwick on Saturday, then it doesn’t matter if we win or lose against Northside on Monday. ”
“I can’t play fully for both games anyhow.
There’s a state law about how many innings I can pitch, remember?” How the hell am I supposed to know what size I am? I don’t go around staring at guys’ dicks. I don’t think I’m small and I sure as hell wouldn’t buy small even if I was. A guy has to have some pride.
“But you could guarantee us the win on Saturday against Eastwick, then play the later innings against Northside. You’ve dug us out of a hole before in later innings and if we get low on Monday, you could dig us out. Get the glow-in-the-dark ones. I bet Beth’s into freaky shit. ”
My stomach clenches. “Beth is not into freaky shit. ”
“I saw her tattoo. She’s a freaky shit kind of girl. Look, I get that you don’t want to back out of a competition, even if it is writing, but I’m not going to lie. You’re scaring the team.
