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Megs rather wanted to hurl her own spoon at her husband at that moment.
“I doubt very much that he was bored by you,” she said gently. “It’s just that your mother married your father when Godric was at a difficult age for a boy. And, too, he’d lost his own mother. …” She trailed off, feeling inadequate. The fact was that Godric might’ve been hurt as a lad, but he was a man now. There was no reason for him to hold himself apart from his sisters.
“He’s my brother,” Charlotte whispered so low that Megs nearly didn’t catch the words. “My only brother.”
And even the delicious syllabub didn’t make up for the sinking of Megs’s heart at those words. She had to find a way to make Godric see that his sisters and stepmother were important. This might be his only chance. Once they were married and had families of their own, they’d have far less incentive to want to bring him into their fold.
He’d end up entirely alone.
Megs slowly lowered her spoon to her empty dish at the thought. She’d promised to leave London—leave Godric—once she was with child. She’d have the baby and all her friends and relations in the country. She lived a full and happy life there—one that wanted only a child of her own. But Godric …
Well, who did Godric have, really?
There was his friend, Lord Caire. But Lord Caire had his own family—one that would no doubt grow and demand more of his time. She had a vision of Godric, old and alone, surrounded by his books and little else. Someday he’d have to give up being the Ghost of St. Giles—always assuming he didn’t die doing it—and then he’d have … nothing.
The thought was distressing. Megs looked over at Godric, who was now bending down to listen to something Lavinia was saying. She might not love him, but he was her husband. Her responsibility. How had she not seen before that she couldn’t leave him alone?
The gentlemen suddenly rose and Megs realized that she’d missed Hero inviting the ladies to the sitting room for tea. The duke held Mrs. St. John’s chair for her and then Megs’s—putting age before rank, and quite properly in Megs’s opinion.
Mrs. St. John linked arms with Megs on one side and Charlotte on the other. “And what were you two whispering about so seriously during the dessert?”
“Godric.” Charlotte sighed, and Mrs. St. John merely nodded because there wasn’t much to say to that, was there?
In the sitting room, Hero was already serving tea while Sarah sat at the harpsichord, experimentally plunking the keys.
“Oh, do sing, girls,” Mrs. St. John said as she took a cup of tea. “That old ballad you learned the other day.”
So Jane and Charlotte linked arms and sang to Sarah’s accompaniment, for as it turned out the ballad was to a tune Sarah already knew.
“Lovely, quite lovely,” Great-Aunt Elvina murmured, tapping her fingers on the arm of her chair in time to the song.
Megs leaned back and listened with enjoyment. Her own voice would startle a crow, but she did like to hear others sing and the St. John girls, while not the most polished voices she’d ever heard, were very pleasant. If they stopped now and again to giggle and retry a phrasing, Megs didn’t mind. They were singing to family, and she was rather pleased that they had become comfortable enough with Hero and Lavinia to include them in that designation.
After an hour, the gentlemen joined them and Megs saw the moment the St. John girls instinctively stiffened. She sighed. It was hard to be relaxed with either Thomas or the duke about. But Griffin was here now and she was determined to talk to him.
So she sidled up to her brother and in a low tone suggested he show her his new house—after all, she hadn’t been given a proper tour before.
Griffin gave her an alert look, but he held out his arm readily enough, leading her out of the sitting room with a murmured word to Hero. Megs felt Godric’s curious gaze even after they’d shut the door behind them. The house was quiet outside the sitting room, until the harpsichord started again and a beautiful baritone voice began singing. Megs knit her eyebrows. That was funny. Thomas had no more vocal talent than she, and she hadn’t been aware that Godric could sing.
But Griffin was leading her to the grand staircase and muttering something about skylights and pilasters and the Italian influence. Megs squinted at him. Was he having her on?
“Oh, for goodness’ sake, Griffin, do stop,” she said at last.
He turned and grinned down at her mischievously. “Thought you didn’t really want to tour the house. What is it, Megs?”
“You and gin distilling,” she said bluntly, because she couldn’t think of any way to get to the point delicately, and anyway, she hadn’t the time.
“What about me and gin distilling?” he asked carelessly, but his face had closed, which on Griffin was a dead giveaway.
She took a deep breath. “I heard that you used to support the family, even Thomas, by distilling gin in St. Giles.”
“Goddamn St. John!” he exploded. “He had no right to tell you.”
Megs raised her eyebrows. “I think he did have a right. I’m his wife and more importantly your sister. Griffin! Why ever didn’t you tell us that we were in financial straits?”
“It wasn’t your business.”
“Wasn’t our business?” She gaped at her older brother and not for the first time thought how much a good knock on the head might suit him. “Caro and I were spending money as if we hadn’t a care in the world. I distinctly remember Thomas buying that terrible gilt-trimmed carriage after Papa died. Surely he wouldn’t have done that had he known. Of course it was our business. We could’ve been more frugal. Could’ve minded our purchases.”
