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"Bravo, my lady Grace!" Felicity applauds.
Ann helps me cluster the papers together in my arms. She can't stand having anything out of order. A patch of wrist is exposed. I can see the red cross-hatching of welts there, fresh and angry. This is no accident. She's doing it to herself.
She sees me looking and pulls hard at her sleeves, covering her secret.
"Come now," Felicity chides. "What more will the diary of Mary Dowd reveal to us tonight?"
I grab a page. "Here we go," I say. It's not the same page, but that hardly matters to them.
"April 1, 1871
"Sarah came to me in tears. 'Mary, Mary, I cannot find the door. The power is leaving me.'
"'You are overwrought, Sarah. That is all. Try again tomorrow.'
"'No, no,' she wailed. 'I have tried for hours now. 1 tell you it is gone.'
"My heart was gripped with an icy cold. 'Sarah, come. I'll help you find it' "She turned on me with such fury that I scarcely recognized her as my friend. 'Don't you understand? I must do it myself or it's not real I cannot ride along on your powers, Mary.' She began to cry then. 'Oh, Mary, Mary, I cannot bear to think that I will never again touch the runes or feel their magic flowing through me. I cannot bear to think that I will be only ordinary Sarah from now on.'
" For the rest of the evening I could not rest or eat at all. Eugenia saw my misery and bade me sit with her in her own room. She says it is often that way a girl's power flares, then fades. The power must be nurtured deep in the soul, else it's nothing more than grasping. Oh, diary, she confided that Sarah's power is such, fleeting and unanchored. She says that the realms make the decision about who shall rise in the Order and learn all the ancient mysteries and who must stay behind. Eugenia patted my hand and confessed that the power is great in me, hut I am lost to think of going forward without my dearest friend and sister.
"When Sarah came to me late this evening, I felt as if I would do anything to make things as they were before, with us close as sisters again and the magic of the realms within our reach. I told her so.
"'Oh, Mary,' she cried. 'You've cheered me considerably. You know there is a way that we can be together always.'
"'What do you mean?'
" 'I have a confession . I have visited the Winterlands. I have seen it .'
"I was shocked at this, it chilled me so. 'But, Sarah, that is a realm we are not to know yet. There are things we should not see without the guide of our elders here.'
"Sarah got such a hard look in her eyes. 'Don't you see? Our elders want us to know only what they can control. They fear us, Mary. That is why Eugenia is taking the power from me. I have spoken to a spirit that wanders there. She told me the truth!
"Her words seemed true, but I was afraid still. 'Sarah, I'm afraid. To call up a dark spirit is to go against everything we've been taught.'
"Sarah clasped my hands. 'It's only to bring us the power we need. We will bind the spirit to us, make it do our bidding. Don't worry so, Mary. We will be its masters, not the other way around, and once the Order sees what we can do, what power we hold by ourselves, they'll have to let me stay. We'll be together forever.'
"This next part I shuddered to speak aloud. 'What will it require?'
"Sarah stroked my cheek lovingly. 'A small sacrifice, nothing
more. A grass snake or a sparrow, perhaps. She will tell us. Sleep now, Mary. And tomorrow, we shall make our plans.'
"Oh, diary, my heart feels much misgiving about this endeavor. But what can I do? Sarah is my dearest friend in all the world. I cannot go on without her. And perhaps she is right. Perhaps, if we keep our hearts strong and pure, we can bend the creature to our will, using it only for the best intentions."
Pippa is nearly breathless. "Well, there's a fine place to leave off."
"Yes, the plot thickens," Felicity says. "In fact, it may be congealing."
Everyone shares a giggle except me. The passage has left me uneasy. Or it could be the heat. It's unseasonably warm for September. The air inside the caves is sticky, and I've begun to sweat beneath my corset.
"Do you suppose Mother Elena could tell us our futures?" Ann muses.
I can't help it. At the thought of Gypsies, my eyes find Felicity's. She gives me a piercing glare as if I'm betraying her with this quick look.
"I'm not sure that Mother Elena could tell us the day of the week," Felicity says.
"I have the most marvelous idea," Pippa trills, and suddenly, I know we're in for it. "Let's see if we can make our own magic."
