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My heart sinks at this."My brother is with Mr. Middleton at his club."
"We must send for him."
"No! The scandal. Tom would be humiliated."
"Yes, wouldn't want to upset The Right Honorable Simon Middleton."
"You're too bold by half," I say. "And you're lying about not wanting to humiliate Tom. You're saving yourself."
The hard truth of this stings me, and I hate him a little for saying it.
"There's nothing we can do but wait until your brother returns," Kartik says.
"Do you mean leave my father in that place?"
"There is no other choice."
"He's all I have," I plead. "Take me to him."
Kartik shakes his head. "It is out of the question. Bluegate Fields is not the sort of place for ladies."
"I am going whether you take me or not."
I walk swiftly toward the door. Kartik takes hold of my arm.
"Do you know what could happen to you there?"
"I shall have to risk it." Kartik and I stand, opposing each other."I cannot leave him there, Kartik."
"Very well," he says, relenting. He gives my figure a bold appraisal."You will need to borrow your brother's clothes."
"What do you mean?"
"If you must go, you shall have to go dressed as a man."
I race up the stairs, hoping I do not wake Grandmama or the servants. Tom's clothes are a mystery to me. With difficulty, I manage to undress, taking off the many layers and my corset. I sigh with relief when free of it. I pull Tom's trousers over my woolen stockings and select a shirt and coat. They are a bit snug. I am tall but not slender as he is. Still, they will have to do. Securing my hair beneath his hat is a task, though. It threatens to spring from my head. And to wear Tom's shoes requires that I stuff the ends with handkerchiefs, as his feet are a full inch and a half larger than my own. It makes me walk like a drunk.
"How do I look?" I ask, coming down the stairs. Kartik scoffs."Like someone who shall be set upon by every hooligan in East London. This is a terrible idea. We'll wait until your brother returns."
"I will not leave my father to die in an opium den," I say."Pull the carriage round."
A light snow's begun to fall. It coats Ginger's mane in a thin gray powder as we pull slowly into the East London slums. The night is still and cold. Every breath is painful. Narrow, filthy alleys wind between ramshackle buildings that stand stooped as beggars. Crippled chimneys jut up from the sodden roofs, crooked metal arms asking the sky for alms, for hope, for some reassurance that this life is not all they can ever know.
"Pull your hat low over your face," Kartik warns. Even on this night and in the cold, the streets are crowded with people, drunk, loud, swearing. A trio of men in the open doorway of a gin house takes in my fine clothes, Kartik beside me.
"Don't look at them," Kartik says."Don't engage with anyone."
A group of street urchins clusters about us, begging. This one's got a sick baby sister at home; another offers to shine my boots for a shilling. Still another, a boy of no more than eleven or so, knows of a place where we can go and he will "be kind" to me for as long as I like. He does not smile or betray any feeling as he says this. He is as matter- of-fact as the boy offering to clean my boots.
Kartik pulls six coins from his pocket. They glisten in the black wool of his gloved palm. The boys' eyes grow wide in the dark.
"Three shillings for whoever watches this carriage and horse," he says.
Three boys are on him at once, promising all sorts of harm to whoever would bother such a fine gentleman's carriage.
"And three for the one who can escort us to Chin-Chin's without incident," he says.
They're quiet. A filthy boy in tattered clothes and shoes worn down to holes grabs the last of the coins. "Oi know Chin's," he says. The other boys look at him with envy and scorn. "This way, gents," he says, taking us down a maze of alleys damp with the wind blowing off the nearby docks. Fat rats scuttle across cobblestones, poking at heaven knows what by the curb. Despite the raw wind and late hour, people are out. It is still Christmas Eve, and they crowd the gin houses and streets, some of them falling down with drunkenness.
