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"Yes, so you did," I say. I simply didn't believe it. "I'm sorry, Tom."
My brother rakes his fingers through his hair."He was doing so well."
"I'm sorry," I say again, though it seems little comfort. "Shall I throw it in the rubbish?"
"No,"he says."We can't throw it out completely. Not just yet." He hands me the bottle."Take this and hide it--somewhere he can't find it."
"Yes, of course." The bottle feels hot in my hand. Such a small thing. So powerful.
Once Tom is gone, I open Simon's gift and pull up the false bottom.
A place to keep all your secrets . . .
I put the bottle inside and place the clever floor back into the grooves and it's as if the laudanum doesn't exist at all.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
GRANDMAMA WILL NOT RELENT AND ALLOW ME TO visit Miss Moore, but she does agree to let me shop for Christmas gifts along with Felicity and Ann, provided that Felicity's maid accompany us as chaperone. When Felicity's carriage pulls round to our house, I am so overjoyed to see my friends--and so desperate to escape my overbearing grandmother--that I nearly run to greet them.
Ann is very smartly dressed in some of Felicity's clothes, a new green felt hat on her head. She is beginning to look the part of the debutante. In fact, she's beginning to look like Felicity's double. "Oh, Gemma, it's so wonderful! No one knows that I'm not one of them! I've not washed a single dish or been laughed at. It's as if I truly am a czarina's descendant."
"That's won-"
Ann prattles on. "We're to attend the opera. And I shall be on the receiving line at their Christmas ball as if I were one of the family!" Ann grins at Felicity, who slips her arm through Ann's."And later today--"
"Ann," Felicity warns quietly.
Ann gives an embarrassed smile."Oh, sorry, Fee."
"What is it?" I ask, annoyed at their coziness.
"Nothing," Ann mumbles."I shouldn't say."
"It's impolite to keep secrets," I answer hotly.
"Today we are to accompany Mother to her club for tea.
That's all," Felicity says. There is no invitation for me. Suddenly, I'm no longer happy to see them. I wish they were far away. "Oh, Gemma, don't look so dour. I'd invite you too, but it's so very hard to bring more than one guest."
I don't think this is the case at all. "It's no trouble," I say. "I've a previous engagement myself."
"Really?" Ann asks. "Yes, I'm to see Miss Moore," I lie. Their mouths hang open as I tell them of my encounter. I'm enjoying their astonishment very much. "I thought I would ask her about the Order. So you see I couldn't possibly . . ."
"You can't go without us," Felicity protests.
"But you're going to your mother's club without me," I say. Felicity has nothing to say to this. "Are we to go to Regent Street to the shops, then?"
"No," Felicity answers. "We're going with you to see Miss Moore."
Ann pouts. "I thought we were to find me a new pair of gloves. It is only nine days until Christmas, after all. Besides, Miss Moore must surely hate us for what happened."
"She doesn't hate you," I say."She has forgiven us all. And she was distressed to hear about Pip."
"That settles it," Felicity says, slipping her other arm through mine."We shall pay a call on Miss Moore. And afterward, Gemma shall come with us for tea."
Ann balks. "But what about Franny? You know she tattles over the slightest infractions."
"Franny shall be no bother at all," Felicity says.
