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He felt in danger of falling for her all over again, and part of him resented her for it. Despite that she’d had about as much control in their current blood rose situation as he had, he still wished he wasn’t getting all tangled up again. Except, damn the sex had been good.
“I need to say something.” He planted his fists on his hips, his rings making a clinking sound. “Just to be clear, my feelings toward you haven’t changed.”
She shrugged. “I know.” Could she have been more matter of fact?
He scowled. “You almost sound as though you don’t care.”
She tilted her head. “Ian, I know we have serious issues between us so believe me, I have no expectations here. And even if you suddenly had a change of heart, I’m not sure I’d believe you or be able to trust you.”
“What do you mean by that?” He was irritated because he’d never given her a reason not to trust him.
“Ian, you broke my heart. I don’t think I could go through that again. What we have here because I’m a blood rose is nothing short of amazing. But I know it can’t last, and I’m willing to go along for the ride because I’m convinced we’ll be able to do some good together. But I definitely don’t see this as you and me forging a life together. I think it’s a lovely, sexy interlude, that’s all.”
He was dumbfounded as he frowned at her. “There are so many things wrong with what you’ve said, I don’t know where to begin. For one thing, you speak as though it will be a simple thing for you to walk away once we’ve gotten the mist situation resolved. But it won’t be.”
He’d never seen her look more serious as she responded. “You’re wrong. For me, it will be easy. What was hard, was living with your attitude toward me for the past five centuries. I didn’t deserve it, Ian. As I see it, you fell into a whole lot of guilt because of Raven’s Overlook and you took it out on me.”
He shook his head, stunned she held these opinions. For a brief second, he wondered if she was right. Had his guilt clouded his perception? Whatever the case, he’d never be able to make her see where she was at fault, so for now he had to let it go. “I don’t want to quarrel with you. We each see the past very differently. We should go, though right now I’m pretty pissed.”
She huffed a sigh. “And just for the record, Ian, the only thing I was ever guilty of that night was loving you to the point of madness. Now, let’s get going. I have a counter-spell living like wildfire inside me, and I’m ready to take down some mist.”
“Fine.”
She lifted one arched brow. “Fine.”
Once in the air, Ian’s temper started to cool. Flying helped. Sweet Goddess, he loved to be in the air. His blood tattoos had lit up the moment she’d wrapped an arm around his neck. He flew faster than ever with Regan’s power flowing over him.
She’d fallen silent, having had her say. She didn’t even attempt to communicate telepathically. But she held onto his neck, even though he had her
pinned to his side with an arm around her waist. It was funny how at peace she seemed to be in their impossible situation.
She’d said she’d loved him to the point of madness. He’d heard the expression before and he had to admit he’d been crazy in love with her back then as well. But she’d enthralled him, whatever she chose to believe. Even Ben had said he’d seen it from the first, that Regan had somehow used her fae abilities to keep him close.
The massacre had changed everything in his life. From that point forward, he’d never taken relationships with women seriously; he couldn’t afford to.
~ ~ ~
Regan kept her cool, but something about Ian’s continued insistence she’d enthralled him had started tearing at her heart. She wasn’t mad; she knew his opinion. But she’d never stopped loving him, and now that she was so physically close to him again, her love had started rising to the surface once more.
She’d meant what she’d said. She really didn’t have a single damn expectation of him. But all the closeness of the night before and even this evening with his power supporting her meditations, had started smashing down her careful walls. She didn’t want to be feeling so much for him because the end game hadn’t changed. However, this terrible middle place of extreme proximity and satisfying sex had her heart aching.
In fact, she hurt so deep she could hardly breathe, though she worked hard at appearing impassive. She forced her lungs to expand and air to flow back in.
Ian moved swiftly through the night sky, but he didn’t follow the foothills this time. Instead, he flew over the mountains, heading toward Dark Gorge. She could sense the trajectory with her innate Realm homing ability.
When he began his descent, he was once more almost at the border between Camberlaune and Tannisford Realm. She saw the long wall of mist as barely a line at first, but growing in mass as they drew closer to the land.
She was reminded forcefully of her recent incarceration and the ways Margetta had tortured her. She shuddered.
You okay?
Just remembering. Don’t worry. I’ll get over it.
I know you will. But we need to have a plan ready in case any Invictus pairs show up. I’d be a fool to try to do battle right now. So I’m thinking that while you do your thing, I’ll keep watch. But I reserve the right to take off fast the moment the enemy shows up. Agreed?
She had no problem with his plan. Any sign of those devils, even if I’m in the middle of stripping the first layer of mist away, you get us out of there.
Good.
