Page 33 of The Beautiful Widow


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Steel took a long pull at his own coffee and Toni was gratified to see he wasn’t as in control as he’d like them to believe. His hand was shaking just the slightest.

For herself she couldn’t believe how close she had come to making love with him right there on the kitchen floor. The way it had been she doubted if they would have made it to the bedroom. And Maggie knew. In spite of how tactful the little woman was being, bustling over to the stove as she asked Steel if they’d like a cooked breakfast, Toni had seen the speculative gleam in Maggie’s eyes.

Excusing herself, she made her way into the little cloakroom off the hall and shut the door before looking at herself in the mirror. She groaned softly. Of course Maggie knew. The woman staring back at her out of the mirror looked as though she had been ravished. Her lips were red and swollen, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes bright, and her hair.

After splashing cold water on her face she smoothed her hair into order with her hands, having left her bag, which held her brush, in the sitting room. She stood for a few moments with her eyes shut and her forehead pressed against the cold glass as she pulled herself together. Only twenty-four hours ago she had started the day thinking Steel was driving her to a new project he wanted her to oversee. Well, he had, in a way, but so much had happened since then she felt that Toni had been a different person and bore no resemblance to the woman she was now.

When she walked back to the kitchen Maggie was busy dishing up a full English breakfast. In spite of having had two pieces of toast with Steel and the girls, Toni found she was suddenly ravenously hungry. The three of them ate at the kitchen table, the winter sunlight pouring in the window picking up blue lights in Steel’s jet-black hair. Out of nowhere, Toni found herself saying, ‘Your colouring is very unusual, the black hair and light eyes. Is Annie’s the same?’

‘See for yourself later. I thought we’d call in the hospital for a few minutes when we leave here. I’d like to take her some flowers and it will give you a chance to meet her and see the baby.’

Toni saw Maggie’s eyes flash over their faces but the small woman made no comment, gathering up the dirty plates and stacking them in the dishwasher, before asking if they’d like more coffee. Steel took his with him into the bedroom where he continued getting ready and Toni sat with Maggie in the kitchen, listening to her chatter about the preparations for Christmas and a hundred and one other things besides. Maggie was one of those folk who could talk for England and rarely required a comment on what she was saying, and it was surprisingly restful in the circumstances.

As they left the apartment building it was bitterly cold after the centrally heated warmth within and Toni shivered. Steel pulled her into him, wrapping his arm round her waist and kissing the top of her head as they walked to the car.

Somehow, after all the passionate embraces they’d exchanged, it was more intimate than anything that had gone before. Intimate and poignant. This closeness was a transitory thing. One day it would be another woman on his arm and she must remember that. Must try to protect herself from giving too much emotionally.

It was a ridiculous thought and she acknowledged its futility in the next breath. She loved him. There was no protection against love. The deeper you went, the more it took over.

The private hospital where Steel was paying for Annie to have her baby was only a minute away by car from the apartment, but it was already past ten o’clock when a starched and somewhat imperious nurse escorted them to Annie’s room. Steel had phoned Fiona from the apartment to tell her not to expect the pair of them at the office until after lunch, and Toni wondered what the other woman had thought. She might assume they were on site at one of the various projects going on, but on the other hand … But she couldn’t worry about what people thought; there was no point. Gossip and speculation were par for the course for any woman associated with Steel.

When they walked into the bright, cheerful little room that was so unlike National Health hospitals’ colour schemes of green or brown or grey, Toni saw a dark-haired girl sitting up in bed reading a magazine with an open box of chocolates on her knees.

‘Steel!’ Annie’s face lit up. ‘And don’t tell me, this must be Toni. I feel I know you already, Steel’s told me so much about you.’

‘Has he?’ Toni couldn’t hide her surprise.

Annie didn’t appear to notice, smiling a smile that was a feminine version of Steel’s. ‘It’s so nice to meet you at last. Come and sit down.’

Toni glanced at the see-through plastic crib holding a tiny shape that was squirming and making snuffling noises.

‘Do you want to hold her?’ Annie offered. ‘She’s due for a feed soon so she’s waking up. Now’s a good time.’

‘I’d love to.’ Toni bent over the crib, inhaling the sweet powdered scent emanating from the little bundle, and carefully picked the baby up. ‘She’s so tiny and so beautiful,’ she whispered, sitting down on the chair Steel pushed forwards and cradling Miranda Eve in her arms. ‘It seems another age since my girls were this size.’

‘They’re twins, aren’t they? What did they weigh when they were born?’ Annie asked, her eyes—a deeper blue than Steel’s—soft as they stroked over her child.

‘Amelia was exactly six pounds and Daisy was nearly five; I resembled an elephant in the month before the birth, but they were healthy and strong so nothing else mattered.’

Steel was standing, leaning against the wall as he watched her with the baby, his eyes silver slits in the sunlight slanting into the room. He had placed the enormous basket of white and pink rosebuds they had picked up from the florist shop across the road to the hospital on the long broad shelf that ran the length of one wall, between two bouquets standing in vases of water. ‘I take it those are from Jeff,’ he said, indicating the huge arrangement of deep red roses, which had a somewhat garish plastic gold heart attached to the cellophane. ‘Who are the carnations and lilies from?’ The second bouquet was more extravagant than the first and a vision of colour.

Annie hesitated. ‘Barbara,’ she said reluctantly.

Steel straightened, but his voice was expressionless when he said, ‘Barbara? How does Barbara know about the baby?’

Annie shrugged. ‘She’s rung once or twice during the pregnancy asking how I am; don’t ask me why.’

Toni kept her eyes on the baby in her arms. She knew why. The beautiful attorney wanted Steel back and if she could maintain some sort of contact with Annie, it might be a way in.

‘Apparently she woke Jeff up this morning at eight o’clock when he’d only got home from the hospital at six, asking if the baby had arrived. He wasn’t best pleased. And the flowers came just before you walked in.’

Steel nodded as Toni glanced up at him. His firm mouth was set uncompromisingly and a muscle was working in his jaw. He was angry. Nevertheless his voice was even and without heat as he changed the subject and asked Annie about the food, even teasing her about the box of chocolates and warning her she wasn’t eating for two any more.

They left a short time afterwards so Annie could feed the baby in peace, but before they did so Steel held his niece for a couple of minutes. Toni didn’t think anything had hurt her so much in her life. He was so natural with the tiny infant, so blatantly adoring that it was like a knife through Toni’s heart. One day he would meet someone who could cope with being with a man like Steel and wouldn’t mind the women who flocked round him, would even turn a blind eye to the odd affair as long as it was discreet and he came home to her in the end. Because he would have children. Looking at him holding Miranda, she could see the tiny baby had awakened something in him, something primal and strong.

Once they were sitting in the car in the small hospital car park, Steel didn’t start the engine immediately. Turning to look at her, he said quietly, ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Wrong?’ She smiled a brittle smile. ‘Nothing. The baby’s beautiful and Annie’s so nice.’

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