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“Yeah, I think so. Bring it on. I can handle you. ”
Cade walked right up to him and put his hands on Jax’s waist. He bent low over his neck. Was he smelling him, for God’s sake? Jax trembled slightly, but stood his ground.
Cade murmured against his neck. “Thou—who art so lovely fair and smell so sweet that the senses ache at thee, would thou hadst ne’er been born. ”
“What?” Jax said, pulling away. “What did you say?”
Cade shook his head. “Sorry. It’s a line from Shakespeare, from a play called Othello. It seemed to fit just then. ”
“How do you remember that shit?”
“I played Othello in a high school play once. Some of it stuck. ”
“Did you just say you wished I’d never been born?”
“I didn’t mean that exactly. ” He ran a hand through his hair distractedly. “But I’m not ready for a soif de sang, Jax. No matter how beautiful you are, no matter how much your blood calls to me. I don’t know if I can do this. ”
“How the hell old are you,anyway?”
“Twenty-eight. ”
“That’s nine years older. Not so much. ”
Cade pressed his lips together and shook his head.
“Look I heard what you said to your brother earlier, remember? You told him there was nothing good about this soif de sang, and it was—unspeakable. ”
Cade dropped his hands from Jax’s waist and sat down on the bed. He shook his head. “Did I actually say that?” He smiled over at Jax, an ironic little twist to his lips. “A little over the top, wasn’t I? I have to warn you, Jax. I sometimes exaggerate for effect. ”
“Were you exaggerating then? Is the idea of me being your mate so damn awful?”
“Of course not, Jax. It’s not you, it’s me. ”
Jax groaned. “Shit, not the old it’s-not-you-but-me bullshit. ”
“Jax, please listen. I need to be honest with you. I’m not ready to settle down, and you— you’re only a kid, and this takes both our choices away. Forever. Once we mate, we’ll have to be together. It’s not so bad if you’re already in love, but we barely know one another. What if you decide you made a terrible mistake somewhere down the road? It won’t matter, you know. You’ll still be stuck with me. You might wind up hating me. ”
“Is that possible?”
“Absolutely. It happened with my grandparents. I told you this thing runs in families. By the time I was born, they were already pretty old, even for our kind. They’re gone now, and buried in Louisiana, but I remember how much they argued and fought. It was almost legendary. They had been the alpha pair, before my father took over as alpha, and they disagreed on pretty much everything. My mother told me once that my grandmother had been engaged to someone else before my grandfather came along. And though she still loved the other guy, she couldn’t resist the pull of the soif de sang. Her own body betrayed her, forced her to leave the one she loved to be with my grandfather. ”
“So what happened to them?”
Cade smiled gently. “Nothing big or dramatic. They were drawn to each other not out of love, but out of this compulsion. My grandfather tried, I think, but he finally gave up when he saw she couldn’t or wouldn’t meet him halfway. They co-existed, nothing more. ”
“You make it sound so awful. If you don’t want me, then fine. I don’t want anybody who doesn’t want me. Just take us with you to Georgia, and I’ll find a job. I’ll leave you alone. ”
“No!” Cade yelled the word and reached out to grip Jax’s arms tightly. “You won’t leave me. I can’t lose you now. ” He pulled Jax over to him so that Jax stood between his legs. He ran his hands over Jax’s body and pressed him against his chest. His body felt warm and hard, and almost at once, Jax felt his erection growing.
Jax laughed a shaky little laugh. “I got to tell you, Cade, you’re giving me some real mixed signals here. ”
Cade looked down at his erection almost in surprise, then his gaze traveled back up to Jax’s face. His skin was pale and he looked strained and panicky. “I know. I feel like I’m going crazy. Jax, II don’t think I can wait. I need to…I have to be inside you. ”
“Jesus, you’re a confusing person to talk to. ” He shook his head and looked up to see Cade’s eyes sparkling.
“Yeah, I know,” he said softly. “All part of my charm. ”
“Okay, then,” Jax said, his voice rough with the sudden surge of passion he was feeling. “If you want me so bad, do it. Take me, damn it. ”
