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Tyson: It's okay. Me too.
That's it? I throw myself out there and tell him I enjoyed spending time with him today, and that's all he says in return? Well fuck, I was hoping for more than that.
Me: Maybe we could try again tomorrow?
Tyson: I usually don't get lunch.
Now that pisses me off! Why would he try so hard to spend time with me and then just walk away...and now he's blowing me off? My thumb hovers tentatively over my screen as I contemplate my next move. After my attack and Max’s birth, and following my bout with depression, I promised myself that I wouldn't let fear rule my life. I vowed that I would take chances and be bold because tomorrow isn't guaranteed. And I swore that I wouldn't have any more regrets. Those pledges are what spur my next text.
Me: Would you like to go out to dinner with me this weekend?
He doesn't respond right away, and I briefly think that maybe I shouldn't have just done that. Damnit. Why can't there be a grace period with text messages so that you have about a minute to hit ‘undo’ before they’re actually sent? That would really be great right about now. Several minutes pass before Tyson replies.
Tyson: Really? You want to have dinner?
Me: Of course I do. I thought that's what we were trying to do, get to know each other again. Did you change your mind?
What the hell? I'm so confused. He can't change his mind.
Tyson: Okay. Dinner. Will Max be okay with us having dinner?
That's an odd question. Oh God! My hand covers my mouth. Brit. Gah! I groan, throwing my head back on the couch. How could I forget about Brit? That's probably why he was acting so funny at lunch. Maybe I was coming on too strong and I made him uncomfortable. Wait. Levi made it sound like Tyson came back for me. Why would he come back for me if he’s still with Brit?
Me: Umm... yeah. We're just friends, but I'll still tell him we're going. He already knows about you. He'll probably be upset that he won't get to meet you himself.
Me: What about Brit? Will she be okay with us having dinner?
Tyson: You told him about me?
I frown at my phone momentarily—he didn't answer my question about Brit.
What is going on in that boy’s head?
Me: Yes. He's seen pictures of you and knows about our history. He's going to be really excited to meet you.
When we moved into the new house, Max and I were looking through some old albums, and of course they were filled with pictures of Tyson and me. Max asked so many questions…he wanted to know who Tyson was, how I knew him, and basically everything about him. Even though it reminded me just how much I missed Tyson, I enjoyed telling Max about him and reliving those memories.
Tyson: You can bring him to dinner with us if you want. I can meet him there.
Me: He's going to the Cards-Cubs game in Chicago this weekend. But soon. Let's talk more over dinner?
Tyson: Ok. Dinner. Send me your address and I'll pick you up.
Me: I can meet you somewhere. I don't expect you to drive all the way here.
Tyson: On my days off I've been staying in one of Mom and Dad’s empty rental houses. It's closer to home.
Me: Ok. 22 Larson. Pick me up at 5?
Tyson: See you then.
Dropping my phone in my lap, I lean back against the couch and close my eyes. What the hell is happening? My phone lets out one last chirp, startling me.
Tyson: Brit and I aren't together.
“Yes!” I whisper, pumping my fist in the air.
So I guess I was wrong…Tyson didn't act weird earlier because of Brit. But that still doesn't explain anything. Unless maybe he could tell that I was still attracted to him and he doesn't feel the same way. Oh God, please tell me I didn't creep him out. I close my eyes, trying to remember every detail from lunch today. I don't remember doing or saying anything that would make him uncomfortable.
