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Gray comes up behind me and slides the backpack out of my hands. “We can always come back. Or I can take you shopping for anything you need.”
“Okay.” I kiss his cheek. “Let me grab a few things from the bathroom and we can go.”
My skincare routine has gone to hell the last few days. I pull my favorite serum and face wash out of my medicine cabinet.
A plastic rectangle falls into the sink with a plop that sounds louder than it should.
My pills.
Oh my God.
I haven’t taken them since the day I was attacked.
All the popcorn and coffee I’d consumed earlier rises in my throat. Panic.
Absolute terror.
Not fifteen minutes ago, Gray made it pretty clear he doesn’t want kids.
Tears fill my eyes.
I’ve been down this road before. The chances of getting pregnant should be slim.
But not once in my life have the odds ever worked in my favor.
I slip the pills in my pocket.
Then take a deep breath.
And another.
Chapter Forty-Five
Grinder
As much as I hate disrupting her life, I like Serena at the clubhouse. Knowing she’s safe, sleeping in my bed, and surrounded by brothers who won’t let anyone near her.
I hate that I can’t be there with her. Have to be home by ten like a fucking teenager. Fuck, I hadn’t even had a curfew when I was a teenager.
Maybe that’s part of the problem.
I chuckle under my breath. Christ, if I ever get the chance to be a dad, I’ll be a nightmare of strict rules and cautionary tales. Anything to stop them from living with so many regrets.
Who am I kidding? Even if I knocked Serena up right this second, I’ll be in my seventies by the time the kid’s old enough to accept life advice from me.
I liked finding her downstairs hanging out with the old ladies and Sparky the other day. Sure, she looked uncomfortable as fuck but she made the effort and the girls all seem to accept her.
Weather’s clearer today. I roll my shoulder as I grip the steering wheel. Might actually be able to go on the first run of the year with the club. Not that I’ll be able to wear my cut or actually ride in formation with my brothers.
The club’s gate rolls open as I approach. I guide the truck up the long driveway and park outside the garage. Dex waves to me from inside.
I’d offer to help, but I need to see Serena first. Inside the clubhouse, Sparky and Stash are sprawled out on the couches, laughing at whatever’s playing on the big screen television bolted to the wall.
“Morning, Grinder!” Sparky calls out.
“Hey.” I wave to them as I head up the stairs.
At my door, I stop and listen. Quiet.
Inside, Serena’s curled up on the right side of the mattress. Like even in her sleep, she left space for me. I toss my coat on the chair and like a creepy fucker, lean over to watch her sleep.
So soft and gentle.
A bruise I hadn’t noticed before mars the tender skin above her elbow.
How the fuck could anyone put their hands on her?
I stretch out on the bed behind her, trying not to jostle her awake. Her breath stutters.
“Gray?”
“Shhh. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
She sighs.
I move closer, pulling her against me, and rest my hand on her hip.
“Mmm.” She snuggles her head into her pillow.
The soft scent of vanilla drifts toward me. Her shampoo or something. I inhale, finding peace in being next to her.
“Gray?” she whispers, turning to face me.
“Morning, buttercup.” I touch her cheek and try not to flip out as I study the still-visible marks on her face. “How do you feel today?”
“Happy to wake up next to you for once.”
Ouch. The only accusation in her tone is the one my own guilt places there. Still rubs at me. “Wish you were waking up next to me every day.”
She slides closer, hooking her arm over my side. “I could stay at your place,” she offers. “With you.”
“No,” I bite out. “You’re safe here.”
Someone bangs on our door. “Grinder!”
Serena sighs and climbs over me, jumping off the bed. I capture her hand. “Wait.”
“I need to go to the bathroom.”
I release her and she hurries across the room, closing the door behind her.
“Grinder!” The pounding starts up again.
I snarl and lunge off the bed, whipping the door open. “What?”
Jigsaw holds up his hands. “Easy, old man. Z sent me to get you. We’re rolling out in twenty. Meeting with Chaser is going down at Remy’s place.”
“About fucking time,” I growl. “I’ll be down in a few.”
He salutes me and turns around to bang on the door across from me.
The sound of the shower starts. My gaze narrows on the bathroom door, then the clock on the nightstand.
Steam billows around me as I open the bathroom door. I flick the switch for the overhead fan.
