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“Wanted to see if you and the girls wanted to come to dinner at my place tonight. The condo is too damn quiet.”
“Olivia have Kiwi this week?” I ask him. Kiwi is their pet bird that they share custody of.
“Yeah,” he sighs.
“What can we bring?” I ask him.
“Nothing. I’ve got it covered. The twins still like those fruit punch drink pouches?”
I nod. “They do.”
“Seven. I’ll let you get back to saving lives and all that.” He smiles and waves before turning and walking away.
“I’ve got work to do,” I mumble, turning on my heel and heading for my office. I’ve had all of the interventions I can take for one day.
Once I reach my office, I shut the door and lean against it. I know what they’re saying is right, but it’s not that easy. Hell, I don’t even know how to date. Not really.
Holly and I started dating in high school. She’s the only woman I’ve ever slept with. How do I do that? How do I allow myself to sleep with someone else when it was supposed to only have been her? How do I bring another woman into my daughters’ lives and still make sure they know who their mother was and that she loved them with every ounce of her soul?
Releasing a sigh, I move to my desk and get back to work. I’m not going to figure it out today. I’m not sure I’ll ever figure it out at all.
“Daddy, can we go pway?” Hayden asks.
I look at their mostly empty plates and nod. “Stay where I can see you.”
“Okay!” my girls reply, pushing back from the patio table before racing to Ryder’s backyard. They go directly for the bag of toys we brought over.
“So, Laken?” Ryder asks as soon as my daughters are out of earshot. “What’s going on, man?”
“Fuck if I know.” I drain my root beer, wishing it was a real beer. “All of a sudden, she’s everywhere. My girls talk about her all that time. I mean, they've mentioned her before, but the last two weeks, it’s been Laken this and Laken that. Hell, even my mom and Christine are enamored with her.
“Then the other night, I took her and Lenora back to her place. They were too far gone to drive, and it didn’t feel right to let them walk in their condition. I had to carry her upstairs, and when I put her to bed, she told me I smelled good.”
“Oh, the horror,” Ryder jokes.
“It’s the way it made me feel that’s horrible.”
“How did it make you feel?”
“You sound like a therapist.” I laugh.
“Just call me Dr. King.” He smirks. “Now, please proceed. We can go inside, and you can lie down on the couch if you’d be more comfortable,” he jests.
“Fuck off,” I say with no heat in my words. We’re both quiet for a few minutes as I stare down at my lap. I hate talking about this shit, but Ryder’s my best friend. He was there for me when Holly died, and I’ve been there for him since his split with his wife, Olivia. This is what we do, even though I hate it.
“Wanted,” I finally say. “It’s been a long damn time since I’ve felt that from a woman who’s not related to me.” I feel wanted by my daughters every day, but this is a different kind of want. It’s filled with desire and need and a craving for intimacy.
“She’s not just trying to latch on to you so she can say she bagged the elusive bachelor of Mason Creek.” He nods in understanding.
“Exactly. Lenora told me she crushed on me all through high school. She also made it sound like she still harbored those feelings. Laken was drunk when she told me that I smelled good. Surely Lenora is mistaken. I can’t stop thinking about it. Add in the fact she’s all my girls talk about and that she baked with them. And she was there for them, man. She barely paid me any attention. She was so damn patient with them and explained things, but at the same time, she’s not a pushover either. It’s like she gives them discipline in a way that they don’t even realize. She got them to clean their room, and it’s stayed clean so far. It’s only been a day…” I chuckle. “But those little tornadoes usually don’t keep it clean that long.”
“For what it’s worth, I think you’re ready.”
“What about them?” I nod toward the small backyard area where the girls are playing. I won’t deny that I crave intimacy and companionship. I know Holly would want me to move on and be happy. However, I can’t bring just anyone into my daughters’ lives.
You already did.
“They’ll follow your lead. You can’t protect them from heartbreak, Grayson. It’s a part of life. It’s how you deal with heartbreak. Show them that you have to dust yourself off and try again. Who knows, it might turn into your second chance at happily ever after.” It feels like a vise is squeezing my heart in my chest for multiple reasons. One, loving someone who isn’t my wife has me feeling all kinds of guilty, and two, the thought of loving Laken, well, that’s not a completely unwelcome thought.
