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“Did.”
“What?”
“You said ‘do.’”
She shrugs. “You love her, Grayson. She was taken from you. You didn’t stop loving her. She didn’t stop loving you. What happened to Holly and her sister was tragic. I don’t know all the details, but I know they are both gone way too soon.”
I don’t have words. Not that I could get my mouth to work to speak them if I did with the emotions rolling through my veins and wrapping themselves around my heart. Instead, I pull Laken into my lap and hold her. I sit here with my arms wrapped around this woman who is more understanding and patient than I deserve, and I know it’s coming from a place of love.
“We should get ready for bed,” she murmurs.
“Yes. You have to work tomorrow. What time do you need to get up, and I’ll set my alarm?”
“We open at eight, so as long as I’m up around seven, I should be fine.”
I release my hold on her, and she stands. “I’ll be right back.”
She takes her bag into my bathroom and closes the door behind her. My eyes land on the picture frame of Holly and the girls on their first birthday. She was gone a week later. “She’s amazing, Holls. Thank you for sending her to me,” I whisper. I know it’s a crazy thing to believe, but I feel it in my soul.
A few minutes later, Laken appears, wearing a tank top and a short pair of shorts. Her hair is pulled up in a messy knot on the top of her head. She takes my breath away. I want her with an intensity I’ve never felt before. Not even with Holly. That tells me all I need to know.
We’re on the right track.
It’s scary, and there are a lot of feelings and pain, but I want to move forward. With Laken. I want a future with her and my girls.
“I’ll be quick,” I say, standing from the bed. I kiss her quickly before grabbing a pair of gym shorts out of my dresser and slipping into the bathroom.
We’re in bed, her back to my chest, and my arms are locked around her. It feels right to have her here in my arms. Tonight has been an emotional roller coaster, but there is still something we haven’t talked about—how I lost Holly. I know she knows. No one could live in this small town and not know. But I feel like she needs to hear it from me.
“Laken,” I whisper.
“Yeah?”
I pull her closer, place a kiss on her shoulder, and begin to talk. “It was the week after the girls’ first birthday. Holly and her sister, Heidi, drove to Bighorn Canyon. They both loved to hike, and Holly hadn’t had much time to go with the girls being babies and being a stay-at-home mom.” I pause, collecting my thoughts. “They decided to hike another day and drive home later that evening. It’s about an hour and a half from here, an hour from Billings, not a huge drive. Heidi was driving, and I was on the phone with Holly. That’s something that the masses don’t know. They don’t know that I was talking to my wife the night that the accident happened. They don’t know that I heard her screams. That I heard the screams of my sister-in-law as metal scraped against metal.”
“Oh, Grayson,” Laken says as she turns in my arms. Her hand rests on my cheek, and I can tell from her tone of voice, she’s upset.
“I’d just put the girls to bed and started to scream for her. She wouldn’t answer me, Laken. I tried so hard to get her to talk to me, but she wouldn’t. I could hear screams, and eventually, sirens. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to hang up. Luckily we had a landline, and I called my parents and then Ryder. I told Mom to call Christine and Marty. At least that’s what they tell me. I don’t remember much other than pressing the phone to my ear so hard I’m surprised the phone didn’t crack. I couldn’t leave our babies, but she needed me. She needed me, and she was over an hour away, and I couldn’t go to her.” I’m fighting back the tears that threaten to fall. My throat burns with the need to let them, but I need to get through this.
I don’t know why but I want her to know. I know I can trust Laken, and I feel like she needs to know this to have all of me. I need to give her this part of my life in order to give her my heart.
“I can’t imagine how incredibly difficult that was for you.”
“She died. That’s why she wouldn’t talk to me. She and Heidi both died on that stretch of highway. She was clutching her phone when they finally got to her.” I lose my battle with control as my tears fall. It’s been a long time since I’ve let myself go to that night. I’ve been surviving, just pushing one day at a time to raise my girls.
