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“Laken,” he sighs. “What are you doing here?”
Again, not the greeting I was hoping for. “I missed you. I wanted to see how you were doing. How are the girls?”
“My daughters are fine. Feeling better.”
I can’t help but flinch at his tone and the “my daughters” comment. “How about I make us all dinner tonight?” I offer, trying to mask the hurt of his tone.
“Not tonight.”
“Oh, okay. Well, can you tell the girls I said hi and that I miss them?”
I watch as he closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. When they open, they’re staring at me, and the look on his face tells me I’m not going to like what he has to say. “Laken, I think we’ve moved a little fast with all of this.”
My heart pounds heavily in my ears. The thunderous roar making my own voice sound foreign. “What are you trying to say, Grayson? Just spit it out.” I cross my arms over my chest and will myself not to cry.
“I’m saying I need some time.”
“Are you breaking up with me?” My voice cracks as I try to maintain my composure.
“No. Yes. Maybe. Fuck, I don’t know, okay? I know that my daughters are my priority, and I know that my head is messed up. It’s been a rough few days. I just need some time to sort through it all.”
“Honesty, Grayson. That’s what we said. Honesty. Tell me what this is really about?” I fire back at him—my anger pushing its way through the sadness and pain of his words.
“You want honesty? Fine, I’ll give you honesty. My daughters already have a mother, but they’re asking me if you can be their mommy. I love you, Laken, but I’m not trying to replace her.”
“I’m not trying to replace her either,” I fire back. “I would never want them to forget about her, but, Grayson, Holly’s not here.”
“You think I don’t know that?” he screams. “You think I don’t miss her every second of every fucking day? That I don’t look at my daughters and wish she was here for them? I know she’s not here, Laken. I live with the pain of losing her.”
“Hey.” Canaan sticks his head in the door. “Everything good in here?” His eyes flash to mine and widen when he sees my tears.
“Everything is just fine,” I tell him. I then force my eyes back to Grayson. “Here’s my honesty. I love you, and I love your daughters. I would never try to replace their mother. I made a promise to you to always remind them how wonderful she was and how much she loved them. I intended to keep that promise. I don’t want to replace her, Grayson. I just want the opportunity to love the three of you.” I wipe at my eyes, but it’s no use as more tears race down my cheeks. “I know you’re hurting. I know that something has brought this to light, and I don’t know what it is. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”
“What if I don’t want your help, Laken? Huh? Did you ever think of that? What if it’s you who’s bringing all this up? I think it’s best if we take a break.”
I nod, swallowing back the pain that’s lodged its way into my throat. “Goodbye, Grayson,” I whisper before turning to run out of his office. I don’t stop when Mark calls out to me. I rush out of the building and across the street.
“Laken? Oh my God, what’s going on?” Lenora asks. I collapse in her arms, and she holds me tight. “Are you hurt?” she asks.
“N-No. Just my heart.”
“Oh, Laken,” she sighs and holds me even tighter.
I don’t know how long we stand here with me crying in her arms, but eventually, I pull away and tell her what happened.
“He’s hurting, and I don’t know why. I mean, I know what he said about the girls asking for me to be their mommy, but come on, he said he loved me. Wouldn’t the fact that his daughters love me too make him happy?”
“I don’t know, Laken. I can’t imagine how hard that was for him. As a single mom, I would hope that one day a man will come along who will love Trace as much as he could if it were his blood running through his veins. However, I didn’t lose his father tragically. He left us.”
“I know.” I dab at my eyes with a tissue. “I hurt for him and those girls. I’m pissed that he let me fall in love with the three of them only to rip it away from me.”
“Give him some time. He’s upset. We all say things that we don’t mean when we’re upset.”
“I don’t know, Leni. This sounded pretty final to me.”
“I hate to hear that, but if that’s the case, then you’re going to have to figure out a way to stand, dust yourself off, and try again.”
