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“You okay? Thank God,” I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me and held me tight. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he sat on the desk and kissed me roughly, deeply, possessively.

I heard a throat clearing noise and looked over my shoulder and Dario was in the doorway. He jerked his chin up at Tommy. Tommy returned the chin jerk, then turned and set me down on the desk, “Okay, baby. Gotta go end this. Bee’s driving you to where the girls are. Be back soon.”

I winced, “I so want this over.”

“It ends tonight.” He said firmly and kissed me quickly on the mouth and then turned on his heel and he was gone.

I started to shiver. Bianca popped her head into the office, “Ready?” I nodded and followed her out.

That night was like an eternity. The night that wouldn’t end. When I got to Bianca’s mother’s house it was about 10:00 and it was like a locked down fortress. It was a gated place just at the outskirts of town and there were half a dozen men guarding the place. Inside the big, warm, welcoming house was Lisa, Tess, Luciana, the kids, Bianca’s mother Marie and Bianca’s Aunt Joanne. The 5 kids (Luc’s, Tessa’s, and Bianca’s) were in their pjs, getting put to bed by Bianca’s mom who waved at me as I came in but ascended the stairs with the four tots and one older child. Luciana looked tired and ready to pop any second. Tessa’s eyes were red and puffy. Lisa looked pale and sickly. I hugged each of them and when I got to Tessa I whispered in her ear, “I’m so so sorry.”

She nodded, her chin trembled, and she put her arms around herself and just curled into a ball on the sofa and closed her eyes.

Bianca’s mom had come back from putting the kids all in her bed with a Disney movie on, and then pulled me into an embrace and told me it was nice to meet me and that she had thought very highly of my mother. Then Bianca’s aunt put a big plate of pasta in front of me and told me to eat. Food was the last thing on my brain at that moment.

“How’s Tom?” I asked Lisa, who’d sat beside me a breakfast bar in the big open kitchen that had a big island surrounded by stools and the room also had a sitting area, where Luc and Tessa were curled up on opposite ends of a big sectional sofa.

She shrugged, “It’s breath by breath. Tommy okay?”

I nodded, “Just a bit banged up. He’s okay.” She nodded and sipped from a big glass of wine.

“I’m going to bed,” Luc announced and left the room. I tried to eat a few bites but really wasn’t hungry. I didn’t want to insult them so I sat at the plate for a long time, moving food around with my fork, while Bianca talked with her mother and her aunt in Italian.

Bianca sat beside Tessa and put her arms around her. Tessa cried softly into Bianca’s shoulder and I felt her sorrow, the whole room would’ve felt it.

“Athena, you wanna get a bath or something? I’ll get you some towels.” I nodded at Marie. She took me upstairs and showed me to a guest room and pointed out the bathroom next to it and said she’d get my bag, that Nino had brought the bag with mine and Tommy’s clothes from the barn as well as my make-up case.

I took a long shower and then got dressed in yoga pants and a hoodie and tied my hair into a braid and went downstairs. Tessa had gone to bed. Bianca, Lisa, Bianca’s Mom, and Aunt Joanne were watching TV. Sarah was sitting there, too. She pulled me into a hug and then she told me that Tom was hanging in there and then in hushed whispers they all sat and talked about the fact that the boys were ending things tonight and that everyone would be back here afterwards. They told me to go to bed and sleep in the room she’d put my stuff in whenever I was ready, that Tommy would find me when he arrived. I didn’t think I could sleep and being there in that group felt comforting so I curled up on the sofa with them and we watched the rerun channel with all the old comedy shows on it until well past 4: am when I’d noticed that Lisa had fallen asleep

, Bianca’s mom and aunt were sitting at the table talking softly over mugs of tea, and Sarah had fallen asleep sitting up beside me.

I just kept staring at the TV, not really paying attention, just mulling everything over. All of it. It was nice to be part of this group, to have these other women to lean on. And Bianca was family. Her mother was my aunt by marriage. And now Lisa, Tessa, Luciana…they were family too because they were Tommy’s family. It felt good to belong. Amid the stress, the worry, the tragedy, it really felt like I belonged here with these people, despite what I knew of Tommy’s father.

As I pondered the group around me I heard noise and then Nino, Eddy, Dario, and Tommy were there. I’d been holding my breath watching the guys enter in single file and when I finally saw him, I bolted to my feet and ran to him. He gripped me tight.

“Is it over?” I asked into his ear.

“Yeah,” he answered.

Dario spoke to the others and then Tommy looked to Bianca’s mother and spoke to her in Italian. She motioned toward the fridge and was talking with her hands. He shook his head and said some more in Italian. And then she motioned toward the stairs. Tommy took me by the hand.

“Goodnight everyone,” I said, “Thank you so much for everything.” I looked to Bianca, her Mom, and her aunt and they all smiled at me.

In the bedroom Tommy shed his clothes and took off mine and then just held me tight, my naked body against his. I could see in the dimness of the room that his lower back and thigh were badly scraped.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Road rash,” he said, “it’s fine.”

“I should put some ointment on it, bandage it.”

“Leave it. It’s fine.”

“What about the other stuff.”

“Can we just go to sleep? Talk later.” he asked softly into my throat as he nuzzled closer, “I just needed to feel you against me. So fucking tired.”

“Kay.” I answered and closed my eyes.

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