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If he really loved her, she would give him anything. Penny trembled at the thought, but still could not quite believe his avowal of love. 'Explain,' she said shakily.
His arm eased a little around her shoulders and his hand at her neck slid around to cup her chin. His brown eyes burned with some fierce emotion. 'It might take some time. I have made so many mistakes I hardly know where to start,' he said hesitantly, and his hesitation gave her hope. It was so unlike the Raul she knew.
'From the moment I met you, Penny, I knew you were going to be very special to me. I loved your happy, carefree smile, your wholehearted enjoyment of life, and I vowed to have you for myself. After the first night we spent together I should have married you. God knows, I loved you.'
The hope burnt higher in Penny's heart. 'You never said,' she had to remind him.
'I was frightened. One woman had already virtually stood me up at the altar. Not that it bothered me much. But the fact that you were so much younger than me did... My father married a woman years younger than himself and it didn't work. My mother ran off with a man her own age. It was cowardly of me, I know, and I'm not trying to make excuses, but we are all shaped in some way by our past.'
Ava had been right, Penny thought wonderingly, staring at him, her heart thumping faster in her breast. Perhaps he was telling her the truth...
'And, being brutally honest, once you moved in with me I was as happy as a bull in clover.'
'I seem to remember you acted like one,' Penny said reminiscently, with the beginnings of a smile tilting her full lips.
He gave her a wry grin in return. 'I know. I can't seem to help myself around you. That was part of my problem.'
'Sex?' she said, puzzled; that was the only part of their relationship where there was no problem, she thought.
'Sex, love and all that goes with it. In my case, total possessiveness and insane jealousy. The night in Dubai when I fought with you about the Arab it was pure jealousy. I didn't like the way I acted. I surprised myself. I shipped you back to Spain and then found you had left the bracelet I had given you.'
His confession of jealousy was music to Penny's ears, but she was still wary of this oddly humble Raul. One delicate brow arched sardonically. 'Hardly surprising, the speed you rushed me out of the hotel.'
'Have you ever worn it? Have you still got it?' Raul queried, his eyes avoiding hers.
'I don't wear it.' She could not admit that after they'd parted she had not been able to bear to look at it. 'It's in a safe-deposit box at the bank. I thought I would keep it for James's college fund,' she explained, but wondered why he was going on about it.
Then his gaze flicked back to hers. 'Did you ever read the inscription on the back of the clasp?'
'Inscription? What inscription?'
'Dios, what a fool I have been.' And, sweeping her into his arms, he hugged her tightly, burying his face in her soft, scented hair.
'Raul,' she murmured against his chest, and placed a hand on his arm, pushing him back slightly. She glanced up, puzzled. And he smiled—a smile of pure joy.
'Don't you see, Penny, our troubles started when I joined you again here at the hacienda? I was furious because you had left the bracelet in the hotel in Dubai. Remember I asked you if you had missed anything else besides me and you said no?'
She remembered the conversation, but had never linked it with the bracelet. 'Yes, but—'
Raul cut in. 'Engraved on the clasp is "Raul loves Penny"—a simple message but it's true. When you never missed it or mentioned it I got it into my head that you didn't care very much. Senor Costas told me you had ordered his daughter from the house—for no good reason, according to Dulcie—and I was angry. In my own defence I must point out I had no idea Dulcie was such a bitch.'
'I...' She stopped, choked with emotion as the enormity of Raul's revelation sank into her head and heart. He had to be telling the truth, because she still had the bracelet and could prove it. Her blue eyes misty with tears, she wondered sadly how it had all gone sol wrong, and knew that she must share some of the blame. ‘I did try to tell you,' Penny said softly. 'But at the time you had sent me back to Spain so suddenly that I was feeling pretty resentful myself. I was rude, I admit. But when you sent me on my own again to London that really hurt. I was beginning to feel like some unwanted] baggage.'
Raul cuddled her closer. 'Never unwanted, Penny. But I should have believed you and trusted you. It was sheer bloody-mindedness on my part. I was afraid of the depths of my feelings for you, and of losing you. The day after you left for England Ava lashed into me and I learnt the truth.
‘I tackled Dulcie about it and she was full of apologies and insisted it was the trauma of her broken marriage that had made her behave so badly. I didn't believe her, but neither did I care enough about the woman to be bothered. But you I cared quite desperately about. And when I called you that night and you were out all night my fear of losing you turned to pure fury. But it did not stop me dashing to London to find you.'
‘I was lying on the sofa and you woke me up; you were so cold.' Penny shivered at the memory.
Raul, feeling her shiver, lifted her onto his lap. 'Better,' he murmured; his dark eyes, shadowed with remorse, fused with Penny's. 'I will never forgive myself as long as I live for what I did that day. It must have taken a lot of nerve to propose to me. I wanted to say yes and carry you off to the church. But my stubborn pride and a grim determination not to be manipulated by any woman stopped me—plus the bracelet burning a hole in my pocket yet again. Can you ever forgive me and try to love me?'
He was a stubborn, proud, rather conservative macho male, but he was also the only man she would ever love... And she finally believed him. A surge of euphoric relief shuddered through her.
'I forgive you.' She smiled into his serious eyes. But she wasn't quite ready to declare that she loved him; there were a few unanswered questions, and she didn't want anything to stand in the way of their future happiness. 'And I might do more,' she drawled softly, and linked her arms around his neck, 'if you can explain how you ended up in a magazine with Dulcie on your arm.'
'Is that jealousy I hear?' Raul teased, but, looking into her eyes, he saw the lingering doubt and continued in a more serious vein. 'It was a charity evening in aid of cancer research at a Madrid theatre. The elderly widower Dulcie is engaged to was the guest speaker. He left her with me while he went on stage to deliver his speech—'
'Dulcie is engaged to someone else?' Penny interjected.
