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“You’re both strong. Give her your strength when she needs it and she will return it sevenfold. Women are much stronger than we could ever be. She will rise. Give her time.”
Time.
We both continue staring out over the clear waters that mirror the blue sky above, without speaking another word.
Both searching for answers. Both seeking comfort in the silence and solitude.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Bella
2 Months Later
It’s been two months since Logan carried me out of that basement. I feel like I’m walking through life like a zombie. Adjusting hasn’t been easy. Some people look at me with pity, while others treat me as if nothing happened. I don’t know which is worse. Many things have changed since coming home from the hospital. As for Logan and me, we’ve been stuck in some sort of limbo.
The nightmares are few and far between. My stitches came out. The scars, although large, have started to lose a bit of the red angry appearance. Logan has been nothing but patient with me, even though I still haven’t shown him my scars yet. Sometimes I let the guilt eat at me. We’ve hardly touched each other in these past months. I know he has needs. There have been nights where he’s called, saying he’s working late, and I’ll wonder if he’s really working or if he’s hooking up with one of the club girls. I feel self-conscious all the time, and I let negative thoughts take over. Deep down, I know he wouldn’t cheat on me.
“You okay?” Sofia asks, plopping down on the couch beside me. “Yeah, I’m fine. Had my head in the clouds is all.” I insist.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I wave a submissive hand at her, “There really isn’t anything to talk about.”
I don’t feel like talking to anyone, I haven’t even been talking to my sister about my struggles with my body image.
“I know I’m just a kid, but
you can talk to me. I see things, I know you’re having a tough time.”
I lean over, squeezing her hand. “I’m fine, really, you don’t need to worry about me.” I plaster a fake smile on my face to hopefully avoid any further discussion.
Turning her body to face me she continues, “Well, can I ask you a question?”
“Yes, of course. You can ask me anything.”
After a few beats, she begins, “Do you think one day a man will want to date me, to be with me? I mean once they find out what happened, will they think I’m ugly or damaged?”
Though Sofia hasn’t talked about it yet, I know she was raped, multiple times. Dr. Evans confirmed it in the hospital. My heart aches that she even thinks those things about herself.
“Sofia, a good man—the right man—will see you as nothing but the beautiful, amazing girl you are. What happened to you will not change that.” I say with certainty.
With a stern and serious look, she regards me. “If you’re so certain of that for me, then why can’t you believe those things about yourself?”
I go to open my mouth, but I have nothing to say. She’s right. I wear my scars on the outside, Sofia wears hers on the inside. Scars are scars, regardless if they are visible or not.
She stands up and heads upstairs, leaving me speechless.
That sneaky, smart girl. I shouldn’t be surprised. Sofia is slowly opening up to us. A few weeks after coming home from the hospital, Logan and I took Dr. Evans’ advice about getting her a therapist. She has sessions with Dr. Kendrick twice a week now. I’m amazed at Sofia’s progress. Logan and my sister have expressed on several occasions they’d like for me to schedule an appointment. Given the positive change I’ve seen in Sofia, maybe I should consider it. Maybe it’s time I dealt with everything I’ve been avoiding.
Deciding I can’t sit around and do nothing any longer, I grab my phone and shoot Lisa a text. I want to plan a graduation party for Alba. This is the distraction I need. I don’t even wait for her reply before I’m walking over to the kitchen counter in search of my car keys. If I know Lisa, she’ll be game. That woman lives for anything that involves cooking or parties. I’m also hoping to talk to Jake about going back to work.
“Sofia,” I shout up the stairs. “I’m heading over to the clubhouse, want to come?”
Peeking her head from around the corner she says, “Yeah, let me grab my bag.”
Sofia doesn’t go anywhere without her messenger bag Alba gave her, along with several books and a Kindle. Leave it to my sister to get her addicted to reading. Alba loves that she now has a book buddy.
I smile as she sprints down the stairs in a white baby doll dress, bronze gladiator sandals, and her bag slung over her shoulders. Logan has spared no expense when it came to getting Sofia anything she needs.
