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“Do what?”
“Take the blame for something that isn’t your fault. It was one test. One try. One month. One time, Evie. One.”
My shoulders slumped. I’d felt this feeling before. The crushing defeat of knowing there wasn’t going to be a baby. The fear that there was something broken with my body. The utter despair that maybe it would never happen. Looking at it through his eyes was so much worse. The sting was biting.
“I’ve been here. Sitting in this exact spot, Jer. On my bed, crying because I couldn’t get pregnant. That was with treatments and doctors. I was full of hormones. I was a walking fertile incubator and I couldn’t get pregnant. I’m right back in Newton Hills and what has changed? I’m still not pregnant.”
He squeezed my hands. “We aren’t giving up.”
“We aren’t in a dug out,” I sighed. “There’s not a championship game. No troops to rally. I don’t need a rousing ninth inning speech.”
“See, that’s where you are wrong. We are a team. And if you need a hundred more pep talks, then I’m going to give them. Everything before this test doesn’t count. And hell, I don’t think this test counts. We just started trying to make this kid. We’re going to keep trying.”
He kissed my cheek. “I wanted it to be positive. But I love trying to get you pregnant. I’m ok trying as long as it takes.” He tilted my chin toward his. “I won’t stop trying. Don’t give up on me, Evie. I’m not giving up.”
“I’m sorry I asked you to buy the test. It got your hopes up. I could have waited a few more days. I shouldn’t have said something so quickly. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not sorry. Now you have a pile of them for next time.” He was taking the news well. He seemed to handle it better than I did.
“I feel stupid for letting myself believe we had done it so quickly. Really? Who gets pregnant on their honeymoon?” I tried to laugh at how absurd we had been.
He ran the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip. “Don’t feel stupid. I thought we did too. We are going to do this. We are going to make a baby together.”
I let a laugh slip out. “Team mission statement?”
He chuckled. “Exactly.”
“Oh shit.” I looked at the clock on the wall. “We have fifteen minutes before we have to leave for dinner. This day couldn’t be more insane.”
I scrambled off the bed, but not before Jeremy snaked a hand around my waist and shifted me against his body.
“Do you want me to cancel the dinner for you? I’ll do that, if you need it.”
I stared in his eyes. I melted. “You’re willing to risk your life at the hands of the Rossi clan, so I can stay home and eat ice cream?”
“Yes. I’ll do that for you. I will tell Mr. Rossi it’s a bad night for us.”
I wrinkled my nose. “How did I end up marrying you again?”
He laughed. “Drunken sex in the basement.”
“Oh right. That.” It was the reason we couldn’t cancel dinner at my parents’ house. “I’m going to jump in the shower and try to regroup. I think we can show up a few minutes late, but we can’t cancel. No matter what the reason is. I can forget about the test. This is your night for redemption.”
“And how exactly am I supposed to pull that off?”
I dropped a trail of clothes as I turned the shower to hot.
“Don’t try too hard,” I explained. “Ask my dad about things he likes.”
“Ok. What does your dad like? I don’t know what normal dads like. Mine liked money and buying corporations.”
I stepped into the shower and reached for the shaving cream. “He golfs,” I offered. “Oh, and he does woodworking in their basement. Ask him to show you some of the furniture he has made.”
“I play golf, so that’s an easy one. I’ve never built anything. But I’ll ask him.”
The more we talked, the more I forgot how disappointed I was.
“Marcus never talks to him, so you can definitely score points tonight if you act interested.”
