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“Of course, go.” She nodded and then squinted a little. “You’re Ben’s friend. Wes, right?”
“Yes.” I met her gaze questioningly.
“Lauren spoke of you often.”
I didn’t know what to say to that so I simply nodded, and then turned and ran back to my SUV.
I called Ben’s phone on the drive to the hospital, but it went right to voicemail.
“Hey, this is Ben. Leave a message. If this is Lauren, I love you.”
Fuck.
This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t be true. I refused to believe it until I saw it with my own two eyes.
Impulsively, I tried Lauren’s number next, but it, too, went straight to voicemail.
“Hey, it’s Lauren. You know what to do after the beep. If this is Ben, the reason I’m not answering is because I’m busy with your children. But I love you anyway.”
God, those two.
My heart was practically in my throat now, and I was getting that bad feeling again. I couldn’t even fathom the idea that something had happened to them.
On impulse, I called our friend and teammate Nash Reilly.
“You realize it’s fucking one o’clock in the morning and—”
I cut him off. “Ben and Lauren were in a car accident. I’m on my way to County General. Can you meet me?”
“Jesus, they all right?”
“I think it’s bad, Riles.”
“I’m on my way.” He disconnected and my knuckles turned white as I gripped the steering wheel, turning into the main entrance of the hospital. I pulled into a spot outside the emergency room and went inside.
There was a tired-looking nurse at the front desk and I approached her at a fast clip.
“Excuse me. I’m looking for Ben and Lauren Whitmer.”
The nurse frowned. “I don’t think we have anyone by that name…” Her voice trailed off as she typed into her computer. Then her face changed a little. “Oh. I’m sorry, who are you?”
“I’m…a friend of the family. The police came to the house to tell us there was some kind of accident.” I met her gaze, losing hope with each passing second as I watched the emotions on her face. “Do you have any information you could tell me?”
“I’m afraid I can only talk to immediate family or—”
“It’s all right, Jan.” One of the policemen from the house had obviously followed me here. He placed a hand on my shoulder and walked me a few feet away from the desk area. “Mr. Kirby, your friend and his wife didn’t survive the accident. I’m very sorry.”
“You can’t…” My voice trailed off and I swallowed. There was something scratchy behind my eyes and I stood there, frozen. “Are you sure?” I finally whispered.
“We’re so sorry, Mr. Kirby. Do you know who we might call for them? Is there family? We’ll have to call CPS for the children unless—”
“No, I’m, I’ll…I’m their godfather. I’ll go back there tonight. I just…can I see them?”
“I’m not sure. Let me find out.”
The officer went back to the front desk while I stood stock-still. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. I didn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe it.
“Wes!” Nash came in a few seconds later and the moment he saw me, his step faltered. “Wes?”
“They’re gone, Riles.” I couldn’t even look at him.
“Jesus, no.” He stopped a foot or so away from me. “Are you sure?”
“I, uh, yeah, I think so.” I looked up as the officer approached me.
“Would you like to see your friends? The nurse, Jan, said we can let you in there real quick.”
“I…” My voice trailed off. I’d never seen a dead body. Not up close anyway, and definitely not belonging to my best friend.
“Once they move them to the morgue, you won’t be allowed down there,” the officer said gently.
“Yes. I…yes.”
My feet felt like huge slabs of concrete as I followed the nurse down a nondescript hallway. We walked past all the regular rooms, to a secluded one in the back. The nurse opened the door and I steeled myself before stepping inside.
“No.” My breath left me in a rush and I sagged against the wall. “Fuck, no.” I squeezed my eyes shut and fought against the moisture gathering there, but it was no use.
Ben and Lauren were gone.
Ben. My best friend. My brother. Our team captain. The yin to my yang for fifteen years.
“NO!!!” The word left my chest in a guttural roar and I squatted down to my haunches because I no longer had the strength to stand. I hung my head, pain unlike anything I’d ever felt ripping through my gut.
This couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be happening.
But it was. Ben and Lauren were gone and I had no fucking idea how I was going to get past this.
Chapter Two
Hadley
“Miss Carrie, my mommy and daddy are in heaven,” Annalise explained to the woman who just got to the front of the receiving line at the visitation.
“Hi, I’m one of Annalise’s preschool teachers,” Miss Carrie said to me before getting on her knees to address three-year-old Annalise.
